David Richard-USA TODAY Sports

Juan Uribe's groin shot has been followed by three straight games with a home run

Cleveland Indians third baseman Juan Uribe, like the Cavs, returned from a groin shot to knock it out of the park in three straight games. He might speak softly, but he carries...

The Cleveland Indians continued to ride the wave of Cleveland area sports winning ways. After sweeping the Chicago White Sox over the weekend, the Indians (39-30) rallied to defeat the Tampa Bay Rays (31-37) 7-4 on Monday night. The Tribe's AL Central division lead stretched to a full game over the Kansas City Royals with the win.

Starter Josh Tomlin held the Rays without a walk and went a solid seven innings, but struggled to prevent runs as two of the five hits he allowed went over the yellow stripe on the outfield walls. The Indians offense kept the Little Cowboy's sterling winning percentage by scoring runs in each of their last five half innings, which included three runs in the eighth. Leading the offensive assault was Francisco Lindor (3-for-4 with a home run and a double). However, the story of the night was the most interesting man in MLB belting his third home run in as many days.

Three Big Juans

We all know the story now as it is a popular Northeast Ohio fairy tale:

The Cleveland Cavaliers were left for dead in their series against the petulant children of Golden State after a Game 4 put them a single loss away from elimination. Adding injury to insult was the ugly troll Draymond Green had decided to jab LeBron James in his groin as our hero was simply attempting to navigate the fallen Warrior on his way to rescue Princess O'Brien. The wart-infested Green had already gotten away with an egregious crotch shot against the Oklahoma City Thunder the last time he ventured out from beneath his bridge. So, there was little hope that the NBA would finally attempt to stop the scourge of genitals. But, in a surprise twist, Green received the flagrant foul needed to push him into the suspension bucket. The Cavs, led by a heroic effort from LeBron James and Kyrie Irving, defeated the evil Warriors in three straight games, rescued Princess O'Brien, and brought happiness across The Land.

http://www.scout.com/cleveland-sports/story/1680122-wfny-s-championship-subscription-saleThere has been a lesser known parallel story mirroring the action of the Cavaliers that might foretell a similar final fate for our beloved Indians. Tribe third baseman Juan Uribe did not have a run in with Draymond Green. However, he did have a five ounce tightly-wound baseball travel 106 miles per hour and smack him in the most sensitive region of a male. While he was able to laugh off the injury the next day to the media, actually recovering from such trauma took him six full days and an unknown amount of bags of frozen peas (though, given his statements, he would need the family size packs of frozen peas).

When Uribe finally returned to the Indians, he did so in the only way he knows how - in style. A 3-for-4 game with three RBIs, three runs, and a home run had to help ease the past thoughts of pain. He followed it up with a home run and double on Father's Day before the Cavs Game 7. And, he capped off the streak with a home run to seal the victory on Monday night. So, yes, just as the Cavs had, Uribe countered a nut shot by hitting it out of the park in three straight games.

https://vine.co/v/5BiXei7t0Vw

Cracked nuts to cure what ails you

While Uribe had closed out May on a bit of a hot streak (.350/.386/.525 over the last 11 games), June was not being kind to the aging third baseman. Uribe had entered the fateful day against Mike Trout's ball-seeking laser bat on a 2-for-28 frostbitten cold streak. Uribe had more hits in his first game back then he had in those first nine games of June.

Over the past three games, Uribe has a healthy slash of .462/.462/1.231. But, even with the sample size being one of the few small things associated with Uribe, he has seen his overall batting average raise 18 points, on base percentage 13 points, and a ridiculous 72 point jump in his slugging percentage. Overall, El Pavo has hit five home runs in 170 at bats. But, the past three days, he has three home runs in 13 at bats.

So, while no one wants their junk crunched, it seemingly helped both the Cavs and Uribe. Somewhere, Yan Gomes is wondering why his nad-knocker on a foul ball earlier in June didn't give him similar ROI (.182/.229/.242 since coming back).


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