Tide Roster No Help To Royals

There is much ado about the name for the new fourth-from-the-king baby in England. Bookmakers in Great Britain – where they will bet you on anything – are taking wagers. It is not often that an examination of the Alabama football roster would produce a bunch of losers, but in the royal name game, the Crimson Tide would seem to offer poor chances.

Alabama has had some Kings in its day – Emmanuel, Kenny, Joe, even Tyrone I and Tyrone II, although they were Sr. and Jr. in Crimson Tide roster nomenclature. Somehow we don't see William and Kate deciding on HRH Prince Kenny. Or any of the other Bama Kings.

But from the past, maybe Prince Wimbley! Earl Alexander!

Through the years, Alabama has had a number of football players with good British royal names – George, James, Henry, William, John, Edward, Albert, Richard, Phillip/Philip.

But what about today? Over the years, Alabama has had many players with double names: Johnny Mack, Joe Willie, Ronnie Joe. Not seeing any of those.

Don't expect the Royals to think outside the box and grab one of the Jays, either – AJ, T.J., C.J. O.J, or Jai. M.K. Taylor gets the same fate.

Also probably no random apostrophes, which eliminates A'Shawn.

We'd need a little more information about Trey. Richard III worked for the Brits, but Vinnie III probably wouldn't.

In the "couldn't leave well enough alone" category, Michael might make it, but not LaMichael. DeAndrew is a syllable too long for the Andrew supporters. I don't think ArDarius would be considered as "Ar" or "Darius."

There are some names that have a nice Royal ring – Anthony, Jeoffrey, Parker, Cooper, Bradley, Reginald, Ryan, Landon, Taylor, Walker, Jeremy, Christion.

Some wouldn't make the cut, not even the current monarch of college football, Nick. Don't even think about Altee, Caleb, Cyrus, Isaac, or Luke.

I lean to HaHa, but I haven't noticed any knee-slappers coming out of Buckingham Palace. Clinton-Dix would stand a better chance.

With no real candidate from the Alabama roster, we recommend the little tyke be named "Elizabeth III." The first two worked out well.

BamaMag Top Stories