Without further ado, here we go with this week's addition of the Fat Irish Bastard's Baker's Dozen.
eins- Michael Vick busted for tokin the ole Mary Jane now? Say it ain't so Mikey! So Michael Vick tested positive for smokin the happy tobaccy and now he has to wear a damn electronic monitoring device. This whole Vick saga has just gotten funnier and funnier and I don't think it is close to being over. He now has the Federal plea bargain and then he has the State indictment and now he tests positive for cannabanoids in his pee pee. Does the monitoring device detect if he has dogs around him?
zwei- In my weekly Cubbies update, entering play today the Northsiders had a 2 game lead over the Brew Crew with just four little games left. If the Cubs blow it now four little games left. If the Cubs blow it now then you just may hear about some weird fat dude on the east side of Tucson losing his mind and just wondering about and most likely hitting random things out of anger and disbelief. As I type this column, the damn Marlins completed the sweep of the Cubbies today so now they have a game and half lead with the jerks from Milwaukee yet to play. AHHHHHHHHHHHH WTF???????
drei- So the Wildcats are 1-3 to start the season after losing to Cal last week. It was no big shocker that the Cats lost to the loaded Bears but yet again the surprise was the fact that the defense made zero plays and played with zero intensity. On a positive note, there was a Louis Holmes sighting. Louis actually had a decent game against Cal and caused a fumble, hallelujah, praise the lord, the 5-star all everything ‘stud' finally showed up in game four. How long do we have to wait for him to make another good play, the ASU game?
vier- Well the first issue of the new Wildcat Sports Report Magazine hit free newsstands in Tucson last Friday. It was a longtime coming and a lot of hard work but it is well worth it. The U of A Athletic Department deserves a magazine dedicated to filling fans in about the goings on down and around McKale, something that has not been there since the old Wildcat Insider Magazine went belly up about two years ago. The wacky crew from WI.com are the ‘brains' behind the new magazine and I just wanted to give a shout out to all the peeps that are on our team. Everyone knows me and Frodo and Dazzy but most don't know Blake Phillips, Tony Melendez or Carl Shifflette. They all bring great amount of expertise to the crew and make the magazine truly run and make it a fun endeavor to be involved with.
fünf- Get out to your local park to catch some of the great softball being played out there. I am helping coach a girls softball team, the Ragin' Ravens, and it is fun to get out there and see some possible future Candrea players. If you are in Tucson you should get out and support your local leagues and keep softball strong in the Old Pueblo, like it should be.
sechs- The Arizona offense made even more strides in the loss to Cal last Saturday. Willie Tuitama set school records for pass attempts and pass completions in a game, records that probably will not stand for very long. I know the spread calls for a lot of passing, and I am all for it, but the Cats rushed for like 2 yards or something stupid. The running game better wake up in a hurry or else teams are going to start teeing off on Tui again, as if they were not going to already. Overall the offense has improved each week as has Tuitama. Now that it looks like Grigsby will be the featured back I would look for more opportunities to get Nic in space and let him use his athleticism. Nothing against Chris Jennings but the time is now for Arizona Football and if the freshman is better than the senior then the freshman plays, period.
sieben- The Detroit Lions came back down to earth last Sunday, just like I said they would. The Lions started 2-0 and looked pretty good doing it, but they just gave up 56 points to an anemic Philadelphia Eagles offense with a has-been quarterback that can barely walk anymore. The most disgusting thing about the game wasn't even the Lions defense; it was them baby crap looking throw back uniforms the Eagles were wearing. What in the hell was anyone thinking letting the Eagles trot out and wear those things? I don't care if they were 100 years old, nobody, at any point in history, should have let a grown man wear crap like that, WTF?
acht- Another baseball update…the Arizona Diamondbacks have a meager game and half lead in the West. The ‘Baby Backs' are growing up and it is fun to watch. From guys like Chad Tracy to Conor Jackson and Stephen Drew the young kids are growing and making names for themselves. The Backs are an impressive mix of young kids and old farts that still know how to play the game a little. Guys like Jeff Cirillo and ‘Fatboy' Livan Hernandez have added their share to the winning mix that Bob Melvin has molded into a division leader. If Randy Johnson ever gets healthy again the Backs could do well in the post season.
neun- Man, I am sick and tired of Arizona fans and their revisionist history of the Dick Tomey saga. Many folks keep saying how they miss Tomey and how they would welcome him back with open arms right now but yet those same people were cheering when he was fired, or when he ‘resigned' after the 2000 season. The fact is Dick Tomey was perhaps the greatest football coach in the history of Arizona Football and he did so much in Tucson with very little and his legacy should be greatly valued. But let us be honest, not everyone liked him because his tenure in Tucson was inconsistent. Think what you want of Dick Tomey and the job he did at the U, but the least the fans can do is be consistent with their opinion of the man.
zehn- It looks like the Chandler Hamilton High School huskies are being questioned about the transfer situation, as in the transfers that they get year in and year out. This ‘investigation' has been a long time coming. High School, especially public schools, is in no way allowed to recruit local players to their school, and that seems to have long been what has gone on at Hamilton. Many of the best local players through the years in the valley have somehow found their way to Hamilton. The accusations of Hamilton recruiting players is akin to Scottsdale Saguaro or Tucson Sabino and the ‘rumors' and accusations of steroid use. For the sake of amateur athletics and proper competition I hope the accusations are not true.
elf- Is it just me or are there those movies that come along that you can just watch over and over again and they just never get old. I have a lot of movies like that. Tin Cup, Bull Durham, Braveheart, Hoosiers, Rudy and many more are on my list of movies that fit the bill. I recently added another one of those movies to my list, 40 Year Old Virgin. I just keep watching it and laughing and I always seem to pick up lines that I didn't before. If you ever want to talk about movies and listing movies like this you should sit down with WI.com editor Frodo Allis, he loves talking about cool things like that and like how short he is.
zwölf- There is a real feeling of optimism around the U OF A this week for some reason. The Cats are 1-3 and have not played near to their capability and fans are publicly doubting Stoops as a head coach so you would think folks would be nervous and anxious and just not too fun to be around right now but that just is not the case. The confidence level at McKale is very high right now and it is refreshing to see and hear. With the Washington schools and USC coming up it is time for the Cats to play their best football of the season and it all starts with belief and confidence, and the Cats finally seem to be on the same page.
Okey Dokey it is Redneck time so heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Bubba!
dreizehn- Howdy ya'll, Bubba here. Dang it if the Irishman ain't making me put down my sody pop to save him from number 13 again this week. Seeing as how the football team is 1-3 so far I have to say me second favorite sports moment of 2007, so far, has to be Mr. Robert Yates givin' Jr. his grandpappy's #88. After stepmom disses Jr. by not letting Nascar's favorite son keep HIS number, Yates did the mature and responsible thing. Now ole Jr. has two 8's instead of one. I do wish he'd a kept the adult sody pop sponsor instead of the kiddie one. Guess we all gotta grow up sometime, 'xcept of course us good ole boys from down South. In case ya'll care, Bubba's favorite sports moment of 2007 was watchin' the girl with the golden arm and teammates win ole #8 in softball for my Arizona Wildcats. Thanks Taryne and Co.