Bonney's Baker's Dozen

It's Thursday so it is time for every Wildcat fan's weekly glimpse into the goop inside the noggin of the Fat Irishman. This week I delve into UA Football, the City of Cleveland sports scene, the BCS standings and a little baseball, Major League style.

Before I get started I just want to thank my Editor-In-Chief, ‘Frodo' Allis for manning up and providing us with point number 13. Bubba has again disappeared and is most likely driving along old Route 66 somewhere drinkin' some of that adult sody pop he loves so much. Frodo gives his take on the new Ben Stiller flick and a Jimmy Kimmel thought for point numero ten.

ONE Louis Holmes was finally sighted actually producing on a football field last Saturday. Louis played maybe his best all around game as a Wildcat in the 20-13 loss to USC and it was a long time coming. Who knows when he will man up and play well again so Wildcat fans need to take solace in the fact that they finally got to see number one finally, kind of, live up to the hype.

TWO CLEVELAND ROCKS! Man has it been a decent fall for Cleveland sports fans. First the Tribe finally follows through on their promise and not only wins their division but win the AL Division Series by beating the Yankees. Now the Indians (Fat Irish Bastard's 2nd favorite MLB club!) are one win away from facing the Rockies in the World Series. Add to that, out of nowhere the Browns are 3-3 and playing some decent football. They may not go anywhere but at least they are improving. Who knew that Derek Anderson, he of Oregon State fame, would lead the browns to a solid start?

THREE The game ball for Saturday's game has to go to Spencer Larsen. 17 tackles with 4.5 of those for loss, are you kidding me? Larsen did give up the game winning touchdown pass to Fred Davis but that may not be his fault. After all, USC quarterback Mark Sanchez had 18 months to throw the ball and who can cover an athlete like Davis for that long? Maybe a blitz would have been a good call there, or on any of the 70 something other offensive plays USC ran during the game.

FOUR Arizona Freshman punter Keenyn Crier is now 12th in the nation in punting and he widened his Pac-10 lead. All Crier did was average 49 yards a kick in L.A. and win the Pac-10 Special Teams Player of the Week. Crier will not likely win the Ray Guy award but he most certainly should be on the list of candidates. His 83 yard kick that set USC up inside their own one yard line was a thing of beauty. Watching Joe McKnight run backwards after his previous kick return was a welcome sight.

FIVE The Arizona Cardinals just have no luck do they? Sitting at 3-2 and the Vinny Testaverde led Carolina Panthers in town should have meant a 4-2 start to the season, but not for the Cards. Kurt Warner got hurt and Testaverde proved that he still has something in his 716 year old arm as he led the Panthers to an easy double digit win. Only the Cardinals can make the least of a great opportunity.

SIX WTF is wrong with this picture? Ohio State is number one in the first BCS poll, nothing new there, but the next two teams are just shocking. South Florida is number two and Boston College sits at three. It isn't the fact that USF and BC are in the top five, I mean everyone else has lost, but what shocks me truly is why the poll does NOT have South Florida at number one. The Bulls have won at Auburn and beat fellow top ten West Virginia again, which is ten times what OSU has done. The Buckeyes did beat Purdue but that is all they have done. They have played most of the schools from the state of Ohio already, is it any wonder why they are still unbeaten? When does tiny Hiram College get added to the vaunted Buckeye schedule? Play somebody OSU, Arizona would be unbeaten if they got to play your pathetic schedule too.

SEVEN The fact that Arizona lost last weekend doesn't bother me, it is how they lost the game that really pisses me off. The Cats had the game for the taking and again the players and the coaches found a way to leave a win on the field. If it isn't giving up a first down on a simple zone running play on 3rd and 12 it is not using your timeouts properly to save as much time as possible for a potential game tying drive. Simply put, Arizona was the better team on Saturday and they gave the game away, again. At some point the coaches and players have to stop playing ‘not to lose' football and start playing winning football.

EIGHT Senior defensive end Jason Parker is the epitome of what Arizona Football used to be. He was a relative unknown coming out of high school and he has spent the last five years making himself into probably the best end on the squad, and h has done so with probably the least amount of natural ability. His work ethic and drive to make himself better is most likely going to earn him some post season awards as well as some money in the NFL. Scouts are taking notice and calls are being made to see what Parker is all about.

NINE If I were to ask one million baseball fans who their World Series match up would be not one would have said Colorado vs. Cleveland, not one I bet. It sure is nice to see baseball being played the way it should be played, by a bunch of guys that want to be out there and are not getting paid Panama's GNP per year. The combined salaries of the Indians and Rockies' rosters do not add up to what the Yankees paid their pitching staff. How funny and heartwarming is that?

TEN Jimmy Kimmel was informed that he will no longer be welcomed in the Monday Night Football booth. During Monday's New York/Atlanta game, Kimmel joined the crew in the booth and made a number of jokes about former broadcaster Joe Theismann, who was let, go last year.

At one point Kimmel said, "I'd also like to welcome Joe Theismann, watching from his living room with steam coming from his ears." Although it was very unprofessional, it was also very funny. You have to expect a comedian to shake things up a little bit and that is what Kimmel did.

ELEVEN This weekend's Family Weekend visit by the Stanford Cardinal will bring some impressive and talented official visitors. The Cats will welcome Ryan Bass, Brandon Magee (assuming his SAT score is posted in time), A.J. Pickens, Max Tuioti-Mariner and current UA commit Kyle Quinn.

Arizona's Homecoming weekend will also bring a pretty impressive list of visitors to see the Cats battle UCLA. Right now the list includes Dewitt Stuckey, E.J. Woods, and Robert Golden, Chris Little, Marvin Jones, Phillip Garcia and Zander Fabbri.

Arizona's final home game against Oregon will see the Cats host just one official visitor as of right now but it is a very big visitor. 5-star JUCO wide receiver Carl Moore is slated to visit for the Thursday Night nationally televised game against the Ducks.

TWELVE I am a baseball traditionalist. I hate the DH and the Wild Card and I support the unwritten rules of baseball. With that in mind, what the hell was Manny Ramirez doing last night. I know he hit the third dinger in a back to back to back start to the sixth inning but what Manny seemed to forget was that, even after his homer the Sox were still down four runs. Ramirez acted like he had just won the World Series but instead all he did was make an even bigger ass out of himself. The ball had literally landed on the other side of the right centerfield wall before he was out of the batter's box and put his hands down long enough to start his homerun trot. That is absolutely sad, act like you have done it before you idiot.

THIRTEEN Movie executives blamed the poor box office performance of the new Ben Stiller film "The Heartbreak Kid" on it being released the same week that Halo 3 came out. While Halo 3 did sell a ridiculous number of copies, couldn't they figure out that the trailer for "Heartbreak" looked horrible?

The movie and music industry keeps trying to blame a variety of factors for sales going down, but just look in the mirror. You are producing crap. While Stiller has been in a some truly funny movies, he's also been in some that are terrible flicks. Frankly, "Heartbreak" looked like a tired rehash of 100 other movies. Even worse, it was a remake. Are there no original ideas?

Although downloading is responsible for some decreased music sales, a lack of quality music is also a problem. Why shell out $15 for a CD when there are only two good songs? Heck, show me a band with any good songs?

While Halo 3 probably did not help, it didn't hurt your movie. Making a crappy movie hurt your movie.

Mahalo Y'all!

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