Mark Green Picks the SEC: Week 10

Columnist Mark Green weighs in on this week's lineup of Southeastern Conference football game.

Appalachian State vs LSU

A fortnight of hibernation continues for Tiger Mike as Appy State rolls into the Bayou for a post-Halloween sacrifice to the Gulf Coast Hurricane goddess, the swamp-witch-in drag, Kongatrina. The Tiger sweet tooth was already appeased last week against woeful North Texas, and if Coach Les Miles doesn't get out the Crest after this weekend's encounter, The Bengals may be too sated to forge a winning effort next week in Tuscaloosa. At least LSU should be well rested by then.

Somewhat unusually Appalachian State is on top of its game, sporting a 6-2 record behind the strong play of QB Richie Williams who runs and throws with equal effectiveness.

Unable to wipe away the memories of mediocre LSU efforts against Arizona State and Tennessee earlier in the season, I have to confess, "I doubt it," when it comes to a Bengal blowout. LSU 37, Appalachian State 21.


SOUTH CAROLINA at ARKANSAS

Hot off his first signature win at South Carolina, Steve Spurrier now sets his sights even further West as he travels to Fayetteville to take on Houston Nutt's Hogs, who have replaced a signal caller named Johnson with a younger one named Dick. Hardly any difference, one would imagine. But, no, this is not a dialogue from the Disney Channel, or an episode of Court TV. It's a real-life soap opera in which meaningful life changes have taken place in an environment already known for bawdy presidents, discount dictators and a professional chicken rancher, famous for choking his chickens with the cruelest of methods.

The redshirt is off and the red jersey is on for new Razorback starting QB Casey Dick.

The last time Nutt trotted out a new starting quarterback in midstream, it was against these same Gamecocks five years ago when a young, raw-boned freshman speedster named Matt Jones opened up a can on Lou Holtz's nine-point favorites and won. These Spurrier-heeled Carolina Chickens better cover up and hunker down, lest they too lose their heads to a pack of rampaging Pigs, insane swine gone wild, frothing from a feathery feeding frenzy launched on the shoulders of freshmen running backs Darren McFadden and Felix Jones. Fun. Arkansas 31, South Carolina 27


VANDERBILT at FLORIDA

He's back! (Already). The Urban legend has returned for an in-season encore, more dramatic than Rocky II and accomplished with less than half the budget. Now that Meyer has gotten it right with an SEC-like 14-10 win over equally overrated and beaten-up Georgia, it's time to take off the robe and show the world the REAL Chris Leak, Sugar Ray Leak, who, like Ali, floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee.

Just don't hit him or he'll cease to be.

Could this be Vandy's fifth win?

Well, no, it won't be. But Florida may require a little hand-holding on its way to Atlanta. Florida 34 Vanderbilt 27.


TENNESSEE at NOTRE DAME

How much more rotten can this Pumpkin get? Fired frown-carver Randy Sanders gets to watch this Saturday with muted tongue, while ole Santa himself takes the reins and rocks the sleigh on up to South Bend, Indiana for a date with destiny underneath the uplifted arms of none other than Touchdown Jesus Himself. You've heard of tempting fate? How about defying the Deity?

Phillip Fulmer (left) is shown with his former offensive coordinator, Randy Sanders.

I always thought there was some sort of conflict of interest between the jolly old elf and the Savior, but only now do I get a clear picture of just how frowned upon--just how looked down upon--a fat man in a clown costume can be. Notre Dame 20, Tennessee 19.


ALABAMA at MISSISSIPPI STATE

Dare Alabama beat Mississippi State and former Tide lineman-turned Head Coach, Sylvester Croom, he of the lineage of the Bear-minded broomstick of hook or crook?

Alas, another program that has tempted a deity, this one pagan, and from where else? Arkansas, of course. Little region called Morrow Bottom, near Fordyce. What? Have I already blasphemed here? The same folks who took no offense to TD Jesus would call out the posse for the slimmest of slams on the spotted Gizzard of Pulpwood. Dang me. They ought to take a rope and hang me. Alabama 24. Mock Tide 20.


AUBURN at KENTUCKY

Other than the fact that Kentucky isn't a very good football team, there is no reason Auburn should have a skating party in Lexington this Saturday. With season-making games coming up against Georgia and Alabama, this is a great time for the Tigers to forget about football for a while. Those Big Blue fans will sit at the bar and put bread in AU's jar and say, "man what are you doing here?"

Rafael Little is having a strong season for the Wildcats.

The Cats have improved in recent weeks on defense, and sophomore Rafael Little is quietly having a very fine season at running back for what seems to be a team without purpose. But considering the quality of the throwing arm of Kentucky quarterback Andre Woodson, it would not be surprising to see a little something shaking in Lexington. Auburn 30 Kentucky 17.

Editor's Note: Mark Green posted a 4-2 record last week and is 49-13 (.790) for the season.


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