Zone Dogs, Butt Pads & Bringin' The Noise!

Front row (L to R) BSMe2, Bronco4Life, BroncoBooger, Mrs. BSU-81, Friend of Mrs. BSU-81, BroncoScrapper
Back row (L to R) Tim Gilligan, Julius Brown, Coach Hawkins, BroncoBabe, Ryan Dinwiddie, Kevin Louwsma

What's that you say? What exactly are we talking about?

Well, these are just a few of the things that were discussed at the Fifth Annual Boise State Women's ONLY Football Clinic, hosted by Coach Hawkins and his entire coaching staff. Six members of the 2003 Boise State Football team were also on hand to answer questions and mingle with the 200 rabid, salivating she-attendees of this year's clinic. We thought there was one guy there in drag, but it turned out to be Brianna, the vandal fan.

Ok, back to butts and dogs. Butt pads should be self-explanatory. But in case you're still scratching your head, or your butt, butt pads are meant to protect your fanny when some big guy is looking to put you on it. The butt is just one of the many parts that are protected by padding and are a part of a football players uniform. Receivers will sometimes shave their thigh pads down to, well, mini-pads (the women nod their heads, knowingly). An annual Clinic tradition and a crowd favorite is the dressing of the female in a football uniform. This is a competition between two teams, sweating under a time limitation and the oddities of the stuff a Bronco must wear on the Blue. This is very funny (trust us), but sometimes there are left over items.

By the way, the new uniforms (by Nikeâ ) look very pretty.

"Zone Dogs" is a defensive term used when the defense backfield blitzes while the LBs drop back into zone coverage. Bringin' The Noise is something we hope we see a lot of this year from our defense. That's when the defense stacks eight men in the box and "brings ‘em all". Blitz city, baby!!!

However, the Clinic was not just an excuse for us ladies to spend an evening with the coaches, eating hors-devours, drinking five-dollar beers and winning some great door prizes (they gave away an authentic BSU helmet and a jersey, dudes!!!). It was also an opportunity for us to truly learn about the game of football. The coaches discussed Offense, Defense and Special Teams. BroncoBabe demonstrated her kicking abilities during the Punt Drill. There was dancing (Coach Prince reprised the "Snake") and singing (Coach Tuivai sang "Sexual Healing", for reasons known only to his single-selfness).

There were questions from the audience – someone asked why we did not run the single wave…Coach Pete said he thought there was some confusion between football and a beauty parlor. We do run the Single "Wing" occasionally (Gilligan made a great play that started from between his knees…remember?)

RD, Gilligan, David Mikell, Kevin Louwsma, Julius Brown and Wes Nurse answered questions from the audience. Several seniors are scheduled to graduate in December, Louwsma showed us the true meaning of "tight end", and Nurse hopes to join a marketing firm (but if all else fails, he'll open a bar in Florida – we'll be there, Wes!).

Gilligan said he liked the change in the halo rule, thinking it would allow more runbacks, or something. We think he doesn't give a vandal's patootie, he's not going to be sticking his hand in the air. Please, Little Buddy, for your own sake and that of your unborn children, wave at the dang ball!!! You will still be a complete and utter stud in our eyes.

We were afraid to make too many sudden moves around Julius; he looked ready to pounce. We love you, JB! You will have a great season; the Mistresses foresee it. RD and Mikell are ready to compile some yardage. Right now. The two players on the team with the most to prove…and they are ready to prove it. We have no doubt.

We know now more than ever that we have the finest coaching staff in all of football. Great leaders, all. It is a wonderful time of the year to be around them, they are incredibly pumped and managed to infuse the rest of us with confidence and excitement. Four of them are single, so they were probably infusing a few of our fellow she-beasts with something else.

Lastly, most of the player panel prefer boxer briefs – in case you wanted to know.

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