Dawson's Diary: day seven

Clemson's Dawson Zimmerman weighs in with his latest chronicles of spring practice.

Too much rain.

At this rate maybe Lake Hartwell will refill to the level of its glory days. After standing in the monsoon for almost three hours, I returned to my apartment where I had to send out a dove from the window in order to know that it was safe to venture outside again. Luckily the dove returned with an empty beer can so I knew the floods had receded.

Besides the unrelenting rain, the scrimmage Saturday morning was a good step towards getting where we want to go. The biggest strides, in my opinion, were made by our offense as we proved that we have the capabilities of being a solid offensive team. All the quarterbacks threw the ball remarkably well considering the rain, and Chad Diehl scored twice, which was apparently the first time he has ever scored.

Chad Diehl's success with scoring for the first time got me thinking about what I would do if I was ever graced with the opportunity of carrying the ball across the goal line.

If I were to score, I would have several options as far as what kind of touchdown celebration I would employ. My first option would be to hand the ball to the ref in a classy act. This is not at all the route I would take. Punters never score and there's no possible way that I would waste a golden opportunity. My next option would be to simply express my jubilation in a civil way, such as running out of the end zone and pointing to the crowd; a viable option, but still no. My last option, and the option that I like the best, is to do a celebration that certainly evokes an excessive celebration penalty but would cement my place in the pantheon of greatest touchdown dances of all time. It's called, "The Delivery."

After scoring, I flip the ball to a teammate who lies on the ground with his legs spread, simulating a woman in labor. I, the doctor, "deliver" the football from the teammate and hold it up, making sure to cut off the umbilical cord. After I stand in the end zone rocking the "baby" to sleep, I then let loose the most vicious spike in college football history. The flag will then be thrown, Coach Swinney will probably stare in disbelief and then banish me from the field, and I will be on Sportscenter once again for something unrelated to punting. My legacy will be complete and I can die in peace knowing that out of all the dances ever performed after a touchdown, mine was the most epic.

Hopefully the rain will someday cease and we can play some football without swimming downfield to catch a ball.

Saturday we definitely got better and we should continue to improve until we're clicking on all cylinders for our opener. I'm going to enjoy my weekend and get ready to punt again on Monday. I also may practice "The Delivery" just to make sure if it is used, it's used flawlessly.


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