DA SCIENCE!: Colorado Football

Truckstop Sushi. Da Lama takes semi-regular trips from high upon the mountaintop to the Valley of the Sun (Phoenix). The worst part of this drive falls between Albuquerque and Flagstaff. It's roughly 350 miles of the most crap-stained land you have ever seen. It's like God said, "If I'm going to use the Grand Canyon to do my business, I'm gonna need somewhere close to wipe my rear!" And there it is. Just how does this relate to CU football? Come find out.

Smack dab in the middle of this skidmark wasteland is the town of Gallup, New Mexico. Gallup is a nothing town where the wind blows constantly and the locals mutter one word responses if a traveler ever has the misfortune of stopping there. But wait! Just west of town there is a shining cathedral of commerce - noisy and active. People are friendly, the lights are bright and strangely enough, the wind blows a little less harsh here. It is a Truckstop. It's billed as the largest truck stop west of the Mississippi and it promises that you can find anything and everything you've every wanted or needed on it's miles and miles of shelves.

Even Truckstop Sushi.

There it is in all it's glory. A portable cooler wedged in between the more accessible "truckstop-esque" offerings of candy, chips and beef jerky (Over 80 flavors! a sign shouts). And in this cooler is Sushi. It looks like your typical variety of pre-made rolls - there is your California Roll, your Spicy Tuna Roll, your Spicy Salmon Roll, and something dubbed, Dynamite Combo Roll. All are delicately placed in knock-off Bento boxes. There is a dollop of Wasabi and gently layered stack of ginger and even a pair of jauntily criss-crossed chopsticks.

Truckstop Sushi.

I can hear you now, screaming, "WTF does this have to do with CU football?!"

Let Da Lama elaborate...

By definition, the 2004 installment of CU football is Truckstop Sushi.

At first glance it all seems so right, but if you stare hard enough, you see the flaws. The packaging is not right. Some of the rolls are undersized (and probably slow). The Wasabi looks way too green almost as if it hasn't aged enough (maybe it's just inexperienced) and the chop-sticks are lined up off-kilter - you almost expect them to fall "offsides" into the rolls breaking their tight, uniformed balance.

You don't know how the hell it got to where it is (and you probably don't want to know), but there it is. It must of been one hell of a complex and rocky road to get Sushi to Gallup, NM. Full of twists and turns, obstacles at every point. But it made it. And shouldn't it be a stronger, more flavorful Sushi for enduring what it has? You'd like to think so. But if you began your snack of Truckstop Sushi, the rolls would likely begin to unravel and fall apart. The seaweed casing would snap, the rice would release and scatter, and the "fish" would slide free. Chaos on a Sushi level.

There are far better edible enjoyments offered in the Truckstop; sweet, juicy, crunchy, and refreshing. All playing on a different level to appease your appetite. It's not fair. The Truckstop Sushi should fill all those cravings, but it doesn't. It's out of place. Maybe it belongs only in Truckstops on the West Coast.

It is what it is. Embrace or ignore it. It is what it is. Truckstop Sushi. Come back next year and it'll be the same. Same case, same packaging, same ingredients. You want to hope that it will be better, because who doesn't like a good piece of Sushi, but you just know deep down inside it won't be.

It is what it is. We are who we are. Truckstop Sushi.

Da Lama has spoken....

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