Humorous quotes from SEC Media Days

Most all of us enjoy a good laugh to start the work week. One can always count on a little humor when the SEC Media Days convene in Birmingham. With Coach Steve Spurrier re-joining the cast of characters, there was no question that laughter would be part of the event. From the moment the old ball coach stepped up to the podium, he had the audience in stitches. Here are a few of the more notable quotes from Media Days that you can share with your co-workers.

As I said, Spurrier got things rolling from the moment he stepped up to the mike…"I appreciate all of you hanging around," Spurrier joked. "I figured everybody would be gone by now. It's good to be back. As I have said to most of the other media people (television and radio), I have missed you guys. Even the ones who wrote not real nice things maybe about me. That's okay. It was a lot more fun hanging around the SEC than it was the other League I was in a couple of years."

One of the funniest moments occurred when East Tennessee's Steve Spurrier sought to teach the audience on the greater aspects of the Chinese Lunar Calendar. That's right, he He did it as only Steve could do it…"We (South Carolina) were 6-0 in the ACC in 1969, the year of the Chinese rooster-by the way, you know what that is? Chinese rooster, every twelve years is the year of the rooster. Anyway, '05 is the year of the rooster, so don't bet too much against the Gamecocks, even though were underdogs. I am not- I'm just saying we have got the rooster on our side. '69 was a rooster year that we won our only championship and we have got the rooster year on our side. That's all I'm saying, we got it really going for us right now."

Southeastern Conference Coordinator of Officials Bobby Gaston on the use of the pagers in the conference… "When the (pager goes off) you actually see the official jump a little bit when the buzzer is set off. When it vibrates, they'll be alerted to it, but don't put it in your crotch."

Florida Coach Urban Meyer was asked about when he played against Florida in Gainesville as a player for the University of Cincinnati…"There were some really pretty girls in the stands. I was 19 years old. That kind of tells you where my mind was. They were very good players and it was hot. That's all I remember."

Vanderbilt Coach Bobby Johnson was asked the mental obstacles that he referred to in an earlier question…"That I face? Yeah, I face a lot of mental obstacles. Oh, my team."

Georgia Coach Mark Richt was asked about having only 13 freshmen on his roster this year. "That could be right. I am not exactly sure. You are talking about true freshmen?" When told yes Richt replied, "You might be right." Yes, folks the head coach doesn't know.

Tennessee Coach Phillip Fulmer was asked about his initial reaction upon hearing that Steve Spurrier was returning to the SEC… "When I first heard he was coming back I said, oh, crap, something like that."

Kentucky Coach Rich Brooks was asked how he plans to improve offensively."Catch more passes, find the end zone would be a good start."

When asked about what he had learned from his time in that other League, Spurrier slightly grinned and alluded to what really happened in Washington…"The biggest difference is at college, the head coach is the head coach of the team. He runs the team. He's in control. He has authority over his team…Every organization does it a little differently, but every college team that I know of the head coach is not influenced by the AD and the President, they don't come tell him what to do, unless he's cheating or losing too much."

Vanderbilt Head Coach Bobby Johnson was asked if he has fully recovered from breaking his collarbone… "I am no longer I pain as far as my collarbone. In case you all didn't know, I broke my collarbone riding a bicycle on the beaches of South Carolina on vacation. And just like those Tour de France guys, I fell off my bike and broke my collarbone. Unlike those Tour de France guys, I was going really slow, for a really short period of time."

Arkansas Coach Houston Nutt was asked about playing Southern Cal in the third game of the season. "We're not going to worry about that game right now. They are a great football team, defending world champions."

Mississippi State Coach Sylvester Croom was asked if he is answering more questions about football instead of the historical significance of being the first black coach in the SEC…"Until you asked that one I thought I was going to get thought this one without that question."

Georgia's Richt was asked about the difficult summer as several members of the Bulldogs team have been in trouble. "Well, I would have to say that we have got to be in the top ten in the country on being proactive about these kinds of things. Was it a long summer? I don't know."

Spurrier was asked about conversations that he has had with new Florida Coach Urban Meyer. This was a few minutes after he had been asked a about Phillip Fulmer's comments on his rejoining the Southeastern Conference…"No reason to think that he's not going to do well there," before letting the audience know that would be the last of those types of questions. "But again, my job is not to promote all the coaches around the league. That's your job. I am not here promoting them. That's you guys job right there."

Kentucky Coach Rich Brooks was asked about the turnover on his staff. "Half. Four out of nine, I think. We will quibble over that. 4.5 is half."

Georgia Coach Mark Richt upon stepping up to the podium…"It's good to be back, year five. It's hard to believe I am still alive and thankful to be at Georgia."

Tennessee's Fulmer was the only coach to read from a prepared script. In fact, the transcript of his opening statements ran three pages. Only new Ole Miss Coach Ed Orgeron went more than a page, and he only exceeded a page by a paragraph. Each coach is blocked for a certain amount of time. Some thought that he might be trying to avoid as many questions about the whole Alabama investigation. Okay, so that's not pathetically funny, it's just plain pathetic.

Coach Meyer was asked about Florida's players staying out of trouble through the spring and summer. "First of all, if we do have issues, I want to come and get you because you just jinxed us. You are like my wife when she comes in the eighth inning and says, Do you realize there is a no-hitter going?"

Coach Croom was asked about his recovery from knee surgery. Was it going well?…"I thought it was going pretty good until I took that step up over there."

When asked what the appeal to take the job at South Carolina was to him, Spurrier said… "I told my wife, you know what, this retirement, I am not good enough to play golf year round. I get tired real fast. Some of you guys play well enough, you probably play year round, but I can't do it. I am golfed out. Four months is enough for me. I need to go coach somewhere."

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