VETTEL: I Hate July

As a sports guy in a college town, the month of July has always been a depressing one. The weather is brutally hot or ridiculously wet and sometimes both. The start of football season is still too far away and the NBA draft has just concluded.

The sports calendar makes July the worst month of the year, at least for real sports fans. I mean think about it. The biggest sports "events" this month aren't even real sports events.

The All-Star Game ----- The mid-summer classic lost its luster with the creation of inter-league play. When I was a kid, it was the only time you could see Mickey Mantle face Juan Marichal or Hank Aaron take swings against Denny McClain. Now the All-Star game is just ten days removed from the final weekend of inter-league action and that makes it far less special. And the home run derby is just stupid; though not as stupid as letting this exhibition determine home field for the World Series.

The British Open ----- Angel Cabrera validated my stance regarding exactly what golf is and is not when he won the U.S. Open in June. If your biggest event can be won by a pudgy, balding, mid-thirties chain smoker, IT IS NOT A SPORT. With what some of these clowns wear in Britain, it's actually somewhat repulsive.

Tour d'France ----- Now I know it takes amazing strength and endurance to ride a bike through the Alps for three weeks, but these guys hardly ever actually RACE. They usually pull ahead in a group called the Peloton', which best I can tell is French for good bikers who don't want to race. Then in the final couple of miles of a 110-mile "stage", they sprint to the finish line with most of the Peloton' getting the same time. If it weren't for the time trials the freakin' event would end in a 14-way tie. Yawn.

SEC Football Media Days ----- By the end of the month, about a thousand idiots like me will head to Birmingham for three days of clichés, half truths and empty statements. We will report on all of it because it's the closest thing to real sports that we've seen in months. But it isn't. It is however fun to watch the Alabama coach work his way through the lobby getting the kind of reaction usually reserved for Elvis and Jeff Foxworthy. The real reason we all go, other than boredom, is the chance to visit Dreamland BBQ (even though the real Dreamland is in Tuscaloosa).

Media "Lists" ----- I admit it, I'm as big an offender as anyone as I try to fill the summer with lists of things in sports that might break up the monotony. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. I have another list coming soon, too. (Just a fair warning!)

So what do you folks think about July? Tomorrow I'll countdown the sports months, best to worst and we'll ask you to chime in, too.

Do you hate July? Post your comments...

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