With that said, let's get it poppin'.
GeorgiaDawg04 asks: If we win the SEC in Basketball, will you let Dean shave your head?
There is no way I'm putting my beautiful golden locks on the line for the sake of Dawg Post. Not after the run they made in 2008. No way.
This type of ploy worked for Dennis Felton. If you remember, he shaved his mustache after a bet he made with his team prior to the run the Bulldogs made in ‘08. Later that summer, Damon Evans made another bet with Felton: win more often in the regular season or be fired. Felton lost that one rather quickly.
Funny you offer this bet, though. I worked up something similar a few years back over the Oscar De La Hoya/Floyd Mayweather fight. I took Money Mayweather and kept my hair. I haven't ventured out on that precipice since.
Post Florida loss: Will you let Dean shave your head if we win the SEC in Gymnastics?
Fletcher's Life Rule No. 67: Never bet on anything related to women's sports. That is all.
BlackDeathD asks: With UGA looking to sign so many prospects(we are up to 22 and could sign as many as 27) could this help with the legal trouble and attitude problems we have? I mean CMR does need to make room, and with Baker and Dowtin out the door at a snap of the fingers it seems like CMR is feed up.
Good question…and this is the perfect opportunity for me to welcome in an anonymous committed player from the 2011 class. Welcome to the Mail Bag, Football Player X!
"We all know we have to be smart when we get to Athens. If you slip up one time now—like by getting arrested—you're probably going to be thrown off the team. You can still have fun, but you've got to be smart. You've got to know what you can and can't do."
Here's a few clues as to who this mystery man is…he's a current high school student. He's committed to play football at Georgia. He's really good at football-related activities. He wears football equipment when the time calls for it. Fletcher Page has his phone number. He has Fletcher Page's phone number.
Good luck with your guesses.
RenegadeDawg asks: Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
Something tells me I shouldn't touch this question. Let's t‘urn' the page.
Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
Ha, I didn't even realize this. I'm a Smart Water guy, but I don't think I'm more intelligent after I drink it.
I think we're all dumb for drinking bottled water. My mom tells me it may cause cancer. She encourages me to drink tap water. I shall pass on her noble message.
If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
If you pay hard earned money to see the new Anthony Hopkins exorcist-themed movie and hate it…will you get your money back? What is with Hopkins these days? First the Wolf Man…now Satan…hell, he even battled Death in ‘Meet Joe Black.' This man takes on adversaries of epic proportions. The man can't keep his body, mind or soul under tabs. Ah, old age. I say he's probably been dreaming during his last two or three films…at the end of "The Rite," he'll probably wake up…we'll find out he fell off a horse at the end of "Legends of the Fall" and was in a coma the whole last decade. It's either that or a mildly entertaining case of dementia. Either way.
Also, what's the going rate for an exorcism these days? Depending on the length of the possession, the Lord's work can be awfully expensive.
By the way Renegade, you should have a title or something. From this day forth, you shall be known as "Resident Mail Bag Awesome Random Questions Asker Guy!
TripleB asks: 1. Is Caleb King currently enrolled at UGA?
Yes. Believe me, all the media hounds are constantly checking on this front. Everybody wants to be the first to break a story about King leaving or getting axed. So if and when that happens, that story will break like Theisman's leg.
By the way, I'd like to write a book about King…kind of like the ‘Blind Side.' Except currently, this looks like the complete opposite of the ‘Blind Side.' There's still time for redemption, I suppose. Help me out Caleb. I want to get published.
2. What are you hearing on the OL coach front? Supposedly there might be shuffling of roles on the coaching staff and the new coach added would assume responsibility for recruiting, no position. Good idea?
I keep hearing the names of UCF's Brent Key and Duke's Matt Luke thrown around (hey, that sounds like something I read from Mr. Dean Legge. He heard it from me. I think. Actually, we heard the same names, just independently of each other. That's a sign).
I'm not sure how the recruiting responsibility will shake out…I mean, there's not much wiggle room here. Searels had a region he was responsible for. That has to be covered somehow.
3. They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat. Can you elaborate on this profound phrase?
Well…I hear other people around this Georgia beat have their own version of a Mail Bag. So, there definitely is more than one way to skin a cat. I'm fairly certain my way is the best way though. I'm not pretentious or jaded. That's the key.
By the way, cat meat isn't commercially available in the United States. It's illegal to sell cat meat, actually.
I only learned of such facts after you asked the question. I'm sure everyone looking at my computer over my shoulder in Jittery Joe's got a little freaked out when they saw me researching such a topic. Thanks for that.
RyanJordan asks: Need to settle a long burning question. LOBSTER vs CRAB - Who wins this battle royale both on land and sea?
Well, crabs definitely have the edge in the bathroom. Really, nobody wins that fight.
After that last sentence, I almost see no need to continue this answer. But trudge on, we must.
If we're talking about consumption, I'm a fan of crab. I think lobster is overrated. (ducking).
But on the ocean floor, lobster is a beast. He (or she) eats crabs, star fish, sea urchins and small fish. I repeated, lobster eats crab.
On the other hand, crabs are like the vultures of the sea…they usually eat dead fish.
Adding it all up, the bathroom pushes crab to the top of the podium, two games to three.
My resume actually starts like this: Fletcher Page, Georgia beat writer, pseudo-recruiting helper-outer and all around marine biology information knower.
stephenm1 asks: Football coaches from middle school to the NFL often have a reputation for dirty mouths on the practice field or during games (cue Seinfeld "not that there's anything wrong with that!"). With that in mind...
1) I have heard that CMR doesn't mind dropping the F bomb a time or two at practice. True?
I've never heard him. But I don't doubt that he says it. I have heard him utter lesser works on the cussing hierarchy, but never the diamond plated F-bomb.
Quick question: Do you guys think the Minion here says the F-bomb (you're nodding yes, aren't you? Why?).
2) Which coach goes the most insane during practice with language or just crazy statements? Any examples you could give?
CSS was the most intense, hands down. Or, he was at least the most vocal. I'd say of the remaining coaches, Garner is the next choice as far as making crazy statements goes. There are good examples from every practice I've ever been to. I can't give you one verbatim though right now. I need to go back through my tidbits from fall camp to help you there.
Just to note: If I was a coach, I'd like to model my style after Belin. He's intense, but in a different way. He's not as loud or constant, but he speaks with conviction. I like watching him coach. He commands respect without constantly clamoring for it. If that makes sense.
A smiley face and a thanks?…love it. Thanks for reading.
Patches33 asks: From all u have heard is MM a wr or corner for us next year. If he is defense do we still want another WR?
I hear Grantham and Bobo are in an ongoing fight to keep MM on their side of the ball. Personally, I'd play him at wide receiver. And no, Georgia is done at the receiver position in this class.
Story at one time said he was going to visit uga did he ever or is he still considering us?
Story is no longer an option. Sorry, bro.
Anything about basketball recruiting? I'm dying to know something there.
You and me both, Patches. I've talked to some 2012 kids recently. I'll start posting more updates on that front once the football signing day passes. I posted a Tony Parker update Wednesday…the response was overwhelming (sarcastic reference. Check).
I'm assuming you want to know if Fox will land another player in the 2011 class. I can't confidently answer that at this time.
MagicMan31 asks: The male sack will come out before Ray Drew announces Friday night. Will you give us your prediction? Feel free to enlist Chad or Dean as well. Or, even Ray Drew himself.
Minion says: Georgia
Chad says: Georgia
Mr. Dean Legge says: Georgia.
We're going to get Mr. Dean Legge to approave the name change to "Male Sack" one of these days. Keep fighting the good fight.
Also, how do you feel about the way Drew has played with everyone throughout this whole recruiting process? I am sure he tells all of the coaches exactly how he feels and is only playing with the fans, but he has rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. I really don't have a problem with it...as long as he signs with UGA.
Drew's behavior is perplexing…I spent some time with Ray and Mr. Dean Legge one day last spring. He was very respectful, kind of quiet and low key—I'm talking about Ray here, not Dean.
So all this drama centering on him is kind of surprising. I didn't have him pegged as the type to do all that. I don't think these kids realize just how much each fan base has invested in recruiting. It's a joking matter to the kids. For the fans—not so much
Any predictions on who we close with on signing day? IC, Jenkins (weekend after), Richardson, flip Dickson, or Pagan?
I think Georgia finishes with Drew, IC, Jenkins, Pagan, Turene and Staley. Maybe Richardson, but I can't find the light switch in that room.
Let's move on to something else…
SuwaneeDawg03 asks: 1. Alright the final mail attack before NSD, how many spots do we have left and who do we finish our class with including sign and place guys? Crowell, Drew, Jenkins, Turene, Staley, and maybe one out of these (Dickson, Pagan, Richardson)?
We should make the Mail Bag multiple pages for easier access…if you're here in regard to recruiting, flip to page 37. Questions concerning the football team, turn to page 19. All inquiries about the NBA and Trey Thompkins and Travis Leslie, head to page 43. Wondering why Kwame Geathers and Cornelius Washington didn't live up in 2010? Page 61. Will Marlon Brown emerge this season? Page 11. Does Mark Richt have a "Mail Bag?" Page 22. Offensive line coaching candidates? Page 39.
2. I thoroughly enjoyed the Dawgs on Saturday and it was great to see the points spread all around. Thornton had his best game and is showing a little more confidence. However, Barnes and Price still aren't playing like 2 senior bigs should. Also I hope our shooters (Ware, Brantley, and some times Robinson) from downtown are starting to get a rhythm and will become a challenge for defenses to guard our inside/outside game. I realized I rambled....thoughts almighty Fletcher? Yeah…about that…see, Georgia lost in double OT to Florida. I know, you already knew that. You were there. I was too. It was a brutal loss. Yeah, Fox doesn't have the depth Billy Donovan does. I know, and Price hasn't played well in over a month. Yeah, you're right, Gerald did play his worst game of the season. For sure, making up for these home losses will be tough to do on the road. No doubt, they need to do it up big this season. Who knows what Fox will do next season with the depth he projects to have down low…Sorry, I rambled, too.
By the way, I like that you called me "Almighty Fletcher." You know, a man could get used to such a distinction.
3. How are the injured players coming along with their rehabs and who will/will not be game ready by Boise?
I'm not sure if Stafford's shoulder is going to ever be back to normal…wait…yeah…current players. Who is injured right now? I can only think of T.J. Stripling. I'm a little concerned about him. The expected recovery time is around six months, but I'm told it could take well over a year before he'll feel back to where he was.
I can't really think of any others injured right now. Not off the top of my head at least.
Oh yeah, Joe Cox shoulder is not fatigued. That's just not true.
4. Lastly, if the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I guess it would be easy to say I'd plunder and pillage…live like a Norseman for a couple of years, taking what I wanted and terrorize the Eastern seaboard.
But I'm fairly satisfied with where I am right now. I've still got 17 years before I hit 40, so I won't be following Tim McGraw's advice and "Live Like You Were Dying." (County music reference. Check).
Worth mentioning: Watts Dantzler says if he could live for one more event, it would be a JV girls basketball game…because it would last forever. True, Watts. Very true.
jca239 asks: On or off the record, how did the departure of CSS go down? How long did the coaches know about it? Did they try to keep him at all or just let him go?
The money talks, my man. That's what happened. Texas came in and padded Searels bank account. How long did the coaches know about it? I'm guessing they were probably finding out right about the same time everyone else was. All the other coaches were out on the road recruiting, so it wasn't like they were huddled up in "The Eagle's Nest" just chilling and sipping on wine. (Nazi Germany reference. Check).
AND - are there any names circulating around BM about candidates to replace him?
Turn to page 39. UCF's Brent Key and Duke's Matt Luke are the names I keep hearing.
csradog asks: Have you heard anything about Ralph Friedgen being in Athens this past week visiting with our head coach?
I did hear that. Not sure of the specific reason he was in Athens. But I did hear that at least seven restaurants went out of business last week. Coincidence? I'm thinking it's not. The last time Ralph visited Athens, the Ryan's on the east side went under. Damn him.
graydog25 asks: As excited as I am about this football class and this next week, the basketball game with UF has me thinking about them also. It seems to me the one missing piece on the team is an athletic 7'er that does not necessarily have to score but can control the middle with blocks and rebounds, we don't match up good with teams that have a guy like this, and this may be a mute point cause we are going to loose Thompkins, Leslie, and probably Robinson which will bring a whole new set of concerns, but how good is TDixon and the juco guy Florveus and how big of a impact will they make next year
Well, a lot of teams don't have an athletic 7-footer. These are the hands the basketball gods deal us.
Also, Gerald will be in Athens next season. You have to be Allen Iverson to leave early if you're under 6-foot-2.
As for what you should expect from Dixon and Florveus? I'd be nervous. Just being real. Both are thin. Dixon is raw. Florveus isn't much of a scorer. We'll see how they progress once they get on campus, but it looks like Fox will have Williams and these two to play down low. That's…scary, mate. (Australian reference. Check).
tcdawg30 asks: As 2011 recruiting efforts draw to an end, let's say that UGA doesn't recieve another commitment, does this class, as it stands, have enough potential to get the DAWGS back on the right track?
Currently it is a good class when you consider the public pledges. There is too much off the record info here for me to answer this. I'm telling you, Georgia already has some of these remaining kids listed as a commit on their charts. They may not be public, but it's a done deal. You can blast me next week if it doesn't work out…and then I'll have to answer this question for real. But that's not happening.
Jtugadawgs asks: 1.) Have your feelings changed about us getting RD on Friday?
Nope. I think he goes with Georgia.
2.) Grade Jenkins visit this past weekend, along with Crowell
Well…nobody really knows how Crowell felt about the visit. He's not talking to the media.
But Jenkins loved the time he and his family spent in Athens. That visit went as well as a visit can go.
I think Georgia is in good shape for both players.
3.) Can our Baseball squad get back to Omaha in the near future?
Yeah, I think so. The potential for ups-and-downs seem so great on the baseball side of things. Perno is a good recruiter. Sometimes that bites him because he'll lose a key piece to the draft here and there. I think a good baseball team comes together like a marriage does. It's 50 percent talent (love) and 50 percent timing.
4.) How many Signee's do we end up with in this class? And name the top 5 in your opinion
I think Georgia will (or can) take 28 plus two (LeMay and Conley).
Good question on my top five. Here's what I have (need + talent =): Isaiah, Jenkins, Drew, Mitchell and Marshall.
Thanks Again for habit the Mailbag another week, Go DAWGS!
Thanks for reading and asking questions.
DickVanDawg asks: MajicMan wants to know about your male sack? Ain't that kinda personal?
The Dawg Post Mail Bag is a free flowing conversation that occasionally touches on mature subjects. Parental guidance is strongly advised.
RedRaider78 asks: i do believe we will end up with more recruits and the dream team. but if it ended with the 22 we have compare this class with another class we have had in the last 15 years as close as you can get. i no im asking for a opp. but i'm bored and what the h.
I think it's a good class. And like I said earlier, I don't think we need to get into this because Georgia is going to add a few more names. Let it shake out, and I'll tackle this subject of missed recruits if I need to next week.
i no this is a dawg post but curious. do you think z. metteberger will start for l.s.u. this year and if he was a true freshman how many stars would h be toting at this moment? Yes, I think Mett starts at LSU. He'll at least play, if nothing else.
If he were coming out of high school right now, with the body he has and the skills he's developed and spending a year under Richt and Bobo (we're getting deep in the hypothetical aren't we?)…yes, I think he would be a top five quarterback in the class. He was already an Elite 11 guy coming out of high school. He'd be a 5-star for sure now.
Mett is an NFL quarterback in the making, as long as he stays out of trouble.
i think m. mitchell will play wideout with us. so if he does will he make a instant impact with us at wideout?
I think you're right. I like MM to play receiver, too. His speed and playmaking should make him an early option.
i no i'm green here but in the ranking system"stars" i thought the reason of a 5 star was that the athelete with the fifth star SHOULD or could make a instant impact with any team?
I think that's the way the system was intended. But you know the favorite knock on the recruiting services…"It's not an exact science." That's true. Analysts miss. Coaches miss. It's happens. Sometimes it works out (A.J. Green). Sometimes it doesn't (Brandon Wood).
There are so many outside factors that can cause a 5-star to underachieve: adapting to college, adapting to living away from home, injuries, depth chart, work ethic, drive, motivation…the list goes on. It's hard to really know for sure.
is it true that bobby cox was in athens tuesday interviewing for the offensive line coach?
Wow, this is a curve ball, isn't it?
fletch i agree with you 100% about what you said about coach richt. saying either he will make it this year and retire with us or this will be his last year. i agree 100%.
do you see aaron staying with thru his senior season or leaving his junior year? i think he will be his generations drew brees but i also see him being with us thru his senior season with his eric zier disease" great great talent but a couple inch's short" what do you think?
I agree. Aaron will play for three more seasons. He does not have the prototypical quarterback build. Scouts will knock him for his size and there isn't much Aaron can do about it. He's in a similar situation as Colt McCoy was a few years ago at Texas. Very talented…a playmaker…a good sense of self and character…a hard worker…and knocked for his lack of ideal height. It is what it is, as they say (Annoying over said reference. Check)
I have to hand it to you RedRaider, you weren't afraid to dip into the well here. You're like the kid who keeps coming back to the same door on Halloween because that house has the best candy to grab. I'm honored that you would frequent my porch, so to speak.
blackbulldawg asks: Fletch I know you are always busy so thanks in advance.
I'm never too busy for the Mail Bag…actually, engaging in Mail Bag-type conversations is how I pass my idle time. So you guys are doing me a favor. Thanks for reading.
1. If you pick between Crowell and Moreno who would you choose if both were recruits?
Wow. Well knowing what I know now, I'd take Moreno. It's hard for me to be objective here, because I can't get Moreno's two-year playing stint at Georgia out of my head. Isaiah is the best high school running back I've ever seen in person though, for what that's worth.
2. I know it's early but I what should we expect out of our FB team this year. I'd expect them to win every game. Seriously. Expect the best in everything you're passionate about.
There is not a game on Georgia's schedule next season that the Bulldogs can't win. That's the truth. I'd expect a run for the East. Will that happen? Maybe not. But that's what I'd expect.
3. I know everyone always gets hyped about XXX recruit to change our program but do you honestly think Jenkins can be that dude
And I can only go off what I really DO know for sure…I've talked to Jenkins a handful of times on the phone. He seems like a bright, intelligent dude. I don't think he'll have trouble picking up the plays, based off the way he's talked to me about football and from the discussions with the coaching staff that he described in detail to me.
He's got the size and man strength. I call him "Cornbread"…(after the scene in Life)…because if we were all in jail and Jenkins wanted your cornbread…he'd be eating your cornbread. You be going without cornbread. No doubt about that.
Will it translate to the field? I think so. I think he'll be eating quite a few offensive linemen's cornbread this season.
HunkerDownDawgs asks: Do you blame (1) Coach Fox for not taking a TO to make sure they knew or (2) our players for just not knowing what everyone in the gym knew, and that is when you are up 3 points with six seconds left and you have a foul to give, you foul on the inbounds pass and then win the game as a result? I love CMF for what he is doing with our team and for even getting us into OT in the first place after being down 8 points late in regulation, but the loss to Florida in double OT was inexcusable given the situation we had them in at the end of the first OT.
TripleB comes over the top to say: Two things wrong here: We had no TOs left. We had no foul to give. Still should have fouled him for the 1-and-1 and it looked like Vincent tried to wrap Walker up after he took the inbounds. We should have had Thompkins and Donte Williams at the three point line regardless instead of Barnes.
I agree, Walker should have fouled. I'll give the kid credit, he buried a damn good shot. It was a 25-footer. But let's think it about it this way…
Option A: Walker dribbles up and shoots a potential game-tying 25-footer.
Option B: Foul Walker. He must hit the first free throw. He must then intentionally miss the second. Florida must rebound the miss. Florida must then score after getting the rebound.
Which one would you really choose? If you don't pick Option B, I don't trust your judgment…or sanity for that matter.
hpdog asks: Trey is not playing like the SEC Player of the Year. Not even close, and how can you not foul on their last possession up by 3 ? Great game; bad loss. Love Em, but..
But Billy Donovan says Trey is the most underrated player in the nation: He said Trey is "as good as any power forward in the country."
You two will have to agree to disagree. I'm staying out of it.
trooperdawg980 asks: Our BB Dawgs have turned out to be quite the Jekyll and Hyde team. At times they come across as world beaters and then at others they don't seem to have a take on the basic fundamentals of the game(such as blocking out). What do you or can you attribute the up and down nature of this team to? Seems we are past the stage of using "needing to gel" as a reasonable excuse for our play. This team is far from meeting expectations.
dawgs3535 interrupts the Minion: Probably stealing Fletch's thunder but I disagree trooper. The team came back after being down by 8 to force OT only to have UF hit a remarkable and lucky shot at the end of the 1st OT.
They lost to UT on 2 BS calls that were ridiculous.
They lost to Vandy on the road after having to travel through snow and ice by bus to finally get there.
Lost to ND (double OT right??) and Temple when TT was not 100% healthy
Sorry Fletch but had to say something.
Oh, it's cool man. Anyway, like I as saying…
Both of you are making valid points. Here's my take on why the team plays so up and down: lack of depth. I really like the starting lineup (well, when Price has it together. I think that hasn't happened since December).
But Fox has shown with the way he's distributed minutes that he doesn't trust anyone on his bench. I like Marcus Thornton. A lot, actually. But he's just not ready to play a bulk of minutes. Neither is Williams. Fox is slightly handcuffed.
What happens when Gerald gets in foul trouble? Or Price? Or when he needs to give Thompkins and Leslie a breather?
You're just seeing a spot on the floor dedicated to not being a complete negative under any of those circumstances. That's tough.
cdawgie asks: Please tell us why Geathers didn't play as much as he should have? Was he injured or was he in the Garner's doghouse? Do you think he will play NT or OL? I think he is a crucial piece for us at the NT next year!
Ah, page 61…I'll refer you to an answer Abry Jones gave me once. It was featured in a previous Mail Bag, but we'll get the big fella back in to the Mail Bag to speak on this issue. Ladies and gentlemen, Abry Jones! (again).
"I think at first Kwame had a little trouble with the plays. Then he caught on with the plays and he in camp he was doing a good job. But we started facing teams where we had to line up in a nickel front. He had to catch up on the nickel plays. I had would have to say he was not in great situations in games where not even base plays were being called. Then, he had that bad ankle sprain that just set him back even more."
Well there you have it (again), words straight from the mouth of Abry just for your reading delight. Thanks (again) Abry.
14dawgs47 asks: what is the latest on Bean and where will he play. will tyson move over to DE regardless of the signing class inpact.
I'm told Bean will "most likely" play on offense next season. And DeAngelo hopefully will be at defensive end in the base next year. Obviously, the team will have to do whatever it can if other options don't work out at nose.
I hope it works out for Tyson to slide to defensive end. I think he could have a big year if he can work predominately at end.
rexs5413 asks: Do you see our second year in the 3-4 working out like Bamas second year?
I think Jenkins signs with Georgia…and I know we're all assuming he's all that he's advertised…but I think adding Jenkins, and the general jump the returning players should make, will take this defense to another level.
There are a few snags: Jenkins is unproven. Who is going to play middle linebacker opposite Christian Robinson? How does the secondary play? I don't want to say the defense will play lights out until we know how these questions are answered.
All three of those guys are going to be great college players. Lots of defense here, too. Obviously.
My personal favorite is Deion Bonner. Take that for whatever it's worth.
theburnem asks: Why is bendandbreak coming out of left field with these wild statements of Fulmer strong possibility to OL coach? Your thoughts?
I have no clue about that…but I'm not a big fan of having too many chiefs hanging around the tippie (Native American reference. Check). I don't think either side of that proposed union would agree to that.
apple dawg asks: 1) Serious question: If you were to give CMR one piece of advice on how to keep players out of trouble this off-season, what would it be?
No more SHOTS!...Tell the boys to sip easy on a cold beer or two…but do not, under any circumstances, take shots. No good can ever come from taking shots. Well, actually shots can lead to…no, let's stick with no shots.
Seriously though, I don't know what else Richt can do when it comes to discipline. I'm told he gathered the team in early January and got pretty emotional as he asked his players to, "do the rights things."
He's thrown players off the team…he's begged and pleaded…he's checking the legitimacy of driver's licenses more frequently…I'm not sure what else there is to do. At some point the players have to step up and lock it down. BYOB at a house party or something. Bring a sleeping bag. Damn.
2) Why should Georgia spend all that money on S&C equipment when they should just buy a couple of dozen shake-weights and pass them around?
There's a thought. I've seen a few frat boys carrying these around downtown Athens, for whatever reason. I guess that's funny.
On a side note, do people actually think they can purchase things like the shake-weight or the ab-rocket or the thigh-toner and look like the models on the commercials? Do they really think that?
I am going to start selling my own weight loss product. It's a single sheet of paper. It has this written on it: "Eat better. Move around more."
Patent pending. Please make checks payable to Page, Inc.
Speaking of which…
3) If you have to eat the same meal everyday for the rest of your life--appetizer, beverage, main course, dessert --what would you choose?
The appetizer would be bottomless chips and salsa. Hands down, that's my jam.
The beverage is a tough call, but I'd go with a Fat Tire if on tap. Either that or a tall crisp Budweiser (but its not even American! I hear you, patriots. But it's tasty).
For the main course, I'd probably be forced to eat a steak from Chili's or something (Mr. Page, it's in your contract that you can no longer make mention of a steak from Chili's. Remember, Mr. Dean Legge said no mas on the el bistec references).
If I'm really allowed to choose, I'd love a surf and turf combo platter of crab legs and an 18-ounze medium rare ribeye.
I'd have to rock out with a chilled chunk of key lime pie for dessert. That would hit the spot for sure.
Know this though; as long as any meal doesn't include mayo I'll probably enjoy it.
All this talk is making me hungry. I'm hitting the door, fellas.
Turn out the lights boys, the party's over. Thank ya'll for coming.