The Dawg Post Mail Bag

ATHENS - Another edition of Fletcher Page's notes, observations and somewhat relavant rambling.

ForAllPeople asks: Let's just say you're being shipped to a forgotten island, with no real dangers or threats to worry about. It's just you and the beach and a little cozy island cave or possibly even an awesome tree house fort thingy. You can take two things with you to this island…Name them.

In keeping with my lighthearted nature, I'm going to turn this into a Swiss Family Robinson fantasyland instead of the Tom Hanks lonely dump.

First and foremost, I'm packing an IPod with every song Kanye West and Don Henley ever created. I know, I know—West and Henley seem like an unlikely pair. But this is my island and I control the rhythm.

It should be noted that I need Apple CEO/wonderbread Steve Jobs to create an IPod with an everlasting battery. Hey, he's the Willy Wonka of technology, so anything is possible.

For my final item, I'm going to selfishly steal actor Robert Duvall away from whatever he's currently doing. Stick with me...this could be fun.

Let's get down to my life on this island with West/Henley/Duvall.

Monday: I've designated the first day of each week as, "Godfather Kickoff." Duvall must wake up in his character, Tom Hagan. From sunrise to sunset, I'll pretend I'm Sonny (ravaging the rest of the island in a self-destructive manner), or Michael (basically running all aspects of the island in a super-efficient manner), or Don Corleone (sitting behind a makeshift desk, speaking in an inaudible tone and forcing all living creatures on the island to bow before me). I'll determine which character I'll play by the mood I'm in at any given time. And no, I will never pretend to be Fredo. Remember, I didn't pack the women's underwear necessary to get into that character.

Tuesday: I'll pretend I'm Karl from Slingblade, where Duvall plays my father. This will probably be the most fun day of the week. Mm-hmm.

Wednesday: Robert and I will Cowboy Up, as they say. We'll drift in and out of Cowboy character, pretending we're in Lonesome Dove, Open Range or any of the other 487 Western flicks Duvall was cast in. We'll need horses. And some rope. And whiskey. Yeah, whiskey.

Thursday: Days of Thunder Thursday. We construct a race car. I'll be the driver (Tom Cruise). Robert will be my crew chief (Harry Hyde). I'll say forced phrases like, "Harry, this one's for you" and make profound statements, such as, "I want to control something that's out of control." He'll keep me calm and help guide me to Victory Lane. We're going to need Nicole Kidman. And moonshine. Yeah, moonshine.

Friday: It's time to clean up the mean streets of our island. I'll play Sean Penn and Robert will morph into Officer Bob Hodges, from the movie Colors. We're going to need some gang activity. And some gin. Yeah, gin. You know, to help fuel the gang activity.

Weekend: Stop bothering me about playing Apocalypse Now, Robert. I'm in the West/Henley zone, and I'm jamming. West/Henley would fit every possible scenario on a forgotten island. I've got, "Last Worthless Evening," for every sunset crying session. West's "Through The Wire," for recovery motivation in case of an injury. Henley's "Boys of Summer" if Robert and I tap into the whiskey. Either West's "Runaway" or Henley's "New York Minute" if Robert and I need a moment of serious life contemplation.

Possibilities. Are. Endless.

Yeah, I think this is the way my island would play out. If you're not fond of Robert Duvall, you best not admit it in my presence. That's disrespectful…and I won't trust your judgment moving forward.

With all that said…ladies and gentlemen, you already know what it is…let's get it poppin'.

aname asks: Do you make your mother pay?

Easy now…let's get more specific on these inquiries involving my mother…And yes, the tyrant that is Dean does not give out free memberships. Don't ask. Not even the Minion's Mother gets comped.

Kidding Legge. My family does pay for their membership at Dawg Post. But Dean has told me on several occasions he'd "hook us up." Now my parents are going to be mad because I've yet to "hook it up." Great.

Give us surprises for the football season.

I bet Alec Ogletree moves to linebacker…wait,that already happened. Dawg Post broke that story like a lamp in a Motley Crue hotel room in 1987.

Hmmm…to me, beginning the season 2-0 would surprise many around the football globe. Boise State is going to be highly ranked in the opener. And South Carolina is probably going to be the favorite to win the SEC East. So, if Georgia can start off by beating both of those teams that would be a surprise of sorts. I'm not saying it will happen, but that would be the kind of surprise you're looking for.

Other surprises: beating Florida, offensive packages featuring Nick Marshall and Israel Troupe catching a pass.

What is this that I heard Athens will be hosting a small bball tourney before going to Kansas City next year? Any info on that would be appreciated.

I believe what you're referring to is the CBE Classic in Kansas City. Missouri, Cal and Notre Dame are the other teams involved. That's the only tournament I know about. I have yet to hear about something going on in Athens. Perhaps a tipoff round robin or something of that sort is in store.

Where do you think/will Durham be drafted?

I'm not sure about this. I love Durham's game/size/sneaky speed. I'm not sure if he'll be drafted. But I think he could hang around for a while even if he's not. I was surprised to see he didn't get invited to the NFL combine. Vance Cuff did. Josh Davis did. Durham didn't? That's weird.

I know you have been asked this at least 4-5 times, its been a while since so I'll go ahead and ask again: are tl and Trey Thompkins gone to the NBA? One of the managers said they think they should go, but he doesn't know how they're leaning.

One of the managers thinks they should? I haven't seen "NBA" out of either of those guys this season. Don't get it twisted…they are great college basketball players. But I wouldn't say, "they should go," like that. Trey has a good chance of being taken in the first round. He can go if that's the case. Travis doesn't look like he'll have the choice. If you're not assured of first round status, you might as well go play in interstate traffic. It's that risky.

Please don't get all, "Why is Fletch drinking the haterade on our boys," here. Dean Legge put it to me best the other day…when players (football, basketball) are in high school, they're future stars. When they're in college, they're playing hard/tough. When you start talking about professional decisions, the players become flawed athletes. That's just the way it is.

Go look in the mirror and ask yourself this: Can Travis Leslie handle the ball and shoot well enough to play at the NBA level? Is Trey Thompkins mentally tough enough and physically ready to warrant a lottery pick? Just go to the mirror and ask those questions.

Now, can they win you 20-plus games and lead you into the NCAA Tournament at the college level? The answer is a resounding yes. Georgia routinely has the best two players on the court in any given game. But there is a difference between college success and making it in the pros.

I think Trey can play on the next level if he lands in the right situation. But here's an excerpt about Travis from an article by Adam Ganeles of "Leslie has tried to incorporate the three-point shot into his arsenal (1.3 attempts) but has found minimal success (31%). Being an undersized two, his lack of range will likely cost him a handful of draft slots (2012 draft). However, freakish athleticism goes a long way in covering up the blemishes."

See, that article is already designating Leslie in the 2012 draft.

TNLogDog asks: What looks better for a basketball program; going down in the first round of the NCAA's or winning the NIT?

Winning the NIT is kind of like beating kids up on the playground in fourth grade and designating yourself king of monkey bars after you've failed two grades and you already have armpit hair.

It's not cool. And nobody cares. Ask South Carolina what winning the NIT does for your program. The Gamecocks won it twice. Quick, name for me the years they won it…that's what I thought. You couldn't. Because you don't care. And I don't either.

I'd take a first round loss in the NCAA Tourney every time. Because at least the 300 million-bijillion people who fill out a bracket will think about your program—even if only for a few brief moments.

Fletch, Now that Royal has officially come out and said he will reopen his recruitment if Hewitt gets canned do you think you could answer my question from last week instead of kicking me out of the bar before I finished my last drink? Do you think we have a chance to land his services if tech pulls the trigger on Hewitt?

I haven't seen any reports quoting Royal as saying that…excuse me if I missed that. It happens—mistakes, that is.

I think if Royal opens back up, then yeah, Georgia has a shot. He listed the Bulldogs as the runner-up when he made his decision in October. But I was told he was firmly set on Georgia Tech because of the Atlanta area. He and his parents were sold on what the city of Atlanta had to offer (whatever that means).

I think it's an outside shot, but if he truly reopens, then Georgia will be there. And I'll have to eat crow and buy you a beer if he does. Sorry for kicking you out early last week…but I'm always looking for a smooth kicker to end all my stories. You know that.

dunkaroos8 asks: Not sure how many times this has been asked but how many carries do you think Boo Malcome will get against Boise if any? Ive been hearing great things about him from everyone, but with Crowell, King, and now Ealey back on the team, it's going to be tough to get him the ball. I'm really shocked Thomas isn't looking to transfer to a smaller school with the depth we have.

I respect Carlton for not seeking a transfer. There is something to being an athlete at Georgia. The whole free education and "other perks" should still mean something, regardless of a lack of carries to go around.

Good question on Malcome. You're correct in observing a crowded backfield. I, too, have heard great things about Boo. But is he experienced like King and Ealey? Nope. Does he have the "Oh-my-(whoever you worship)-did-you-just-see-that" ability like Crowell? No way.

He is young. He needs to stay healthy. And he needs to keep working in the manner I'm told he is. He's not an off-the-field liability like King and Ealey. There's something to that. He could benefit if either of those two trip up (running back joke!) again. That's all I can say for now.

begger asks: Give me your Sweet 16 and Final Four.

Wow…I'll let the brackets come out first so I can see the true matchups before I release a Final Four…but I really like Ohio State, Pitt and Kansas…I feel OK about Texas and Notre Dame. A few teams that may make a run: North Carolina (length, rebounding, mismatches) and a sorta-shocker to watch: St. John's (seven seniors). Also, Syracuse, Wisconsin and Louisville intrigue me.

I try to look for teams with a solid upper-classmen base and great post play. That's my jam.

GearDawg asks: Fletch, Given the history of Georgia football under Mark Richt, is it unreasonable to expect Michael Bennett to catch a fade pass from Aaron Murray, in the final minutes or in overtime, during an SEC night game on the road to clinch a signature win? Just sayin', each of Richt's multi-year starters has had a Michael (or Mikey) to come through in a clutch situation on the road. As always, thanks for the Mail Bag. It's the highlight of my work week. Keep it up.

You're on to something awesome here..Michael Moore (five touchdowns in 2009). Mikey Henderson (Alabama, 2007). Michael Johnson (Auburn, 2003). Michael Bennett (??????)…

Thanks for the kind words. The Mail Bag is my little pride and joy..and I am it's soccer mom.

RyanJordan asks: Fletch, If you were a fly on the wall, what do you think Claude Felton (UGA sports information director) says about Dean behind closed doors?

First of all, I want to say Claude is a godsend for people like me. He's the best in the business. And he has the coolest nickname around: "The Claudefather." Shoutout to Leland Barrow—he was the first SID I ever worked with when I was starting out, and he's still extremely helpful and awesome to this day.

There, I'm done kissing ass…

OK, I'm now a fly on the wall in Claude's office, and I'm just listening…"These cookies Dean brought for me sure are awesome…I could have done without the extra oatmeal cranberry ones though…I told him about that…These are good and all, but Dean's not getting a one-on-one sit down with Grantham again…I won't tell him that though…I wonder, why does Dean always wear shorts? Even in January. I find that odd at best. I think I saw Dean wearing pants one time…No…No, I didn't. I guess legs like that can't be contained with denim or khaki leggings."

That went from cookies to creepies, didn't it? Let's move on.

SuwaneeDawg03 asks: Could you break down what seed you think the Dawgs get based on all possible scenarios? (IE, if we win out and lose in the first round in the SEC tourney we would be a 9 seed.)

For some reason, I think Georgia is going to be a 7-seed. I don't know why. That's just what I'm feeling.

Right now, Joe Lunardi has the Bulldogs in as an 11-seed. This is where Georgia will be as a worst-case scenario, in my opinion. That's a loss at Alabama and a 1-1 showing the SEC Tourney. Because Georgia won't lose in the first round of the SEC Tournament. Not with it being held in Atlanta. No way, no how.

If Georgia can win at Alabama and also win at least two games in the SEC Tourney, then you'll start seeing the Bulldogs creep up in Lunardi's poll.

I would rather be the 10 or an 11 than creep up into the 8-9 discussion, but that's just me.

Can you give another breakdown, but this time of how many players at each position we expect to fill for the 2012 class (at this time of course)?

Well, Georgia will basically have enough opens 'ships to take as many as it can get in the 2012 class. You're looking at five or six players in that class.

I'd say at least three perimeter players and two bigs or vice versa.

That's about all I can say at this point because we need to see what some of the incoming freshmen can do and all that blah, blah, blah.

SESTANGS asks: Does Orson Charles become a huge factor next year with the absence of AJ Green?

As long as the entire tight end unit doesn't disappear again like it did in the first half of 2010, I think Orson will be a "huge factor." Once the tight ends got back in the game plan, Charles was a major contributor at times last year.

He had six catches for 108 and a score against Florida.

He had two important catches against Tech.

I think it's safe to expect Charles to become a bigger factor next season. A.J. is gone. Charles is a year older. Murray is a year older. Surely Bobo won't forget tight ends exist again. And I hear Joe T is really working those guys in the weight room!

BugWhacker asks: Any insight into what if any changes Friend will make in how he coaches the OL from Searels. Personally I'd rather see more pure barrel chested guards and more seal blocking.

Leaving Heidi Klum's husband out of this, I'm not sure what to tell you here. We've only gotten Friend for an interview once…it was full of the "work hard" quotes you'd expect. There were no answers about specific rotations or overall schemes and goals.

We'll have to wait until spring practice…and possibly even fall camp to really know what Friend is about. I'm waiting right along with you. Unless you want to watch film on UAB to see what Friend's line did over there. Better get your popcorn ready!

Patches33 asks: 1. When you look at the 2012 class what positions would you say UGA must address with top talent?

I always answer this question by saying the offensive and defensive lines. That's where football is won and lost, in my humble opinion. I think John Theus is the No. 1 target on offense and Jonathan Taylor is the top player on the defensive list.

2. Do you see any JUCO kids that UGA may pursue in 2012 to fill a need as they did with Jenkins this year?

Lonnie OutlawJalen Fields…you may have heard of those two. JUCO guys always pop up, but it's usually not until late in the process. I'll admit, I didn't hear Jenkins name until November. And Tank Carradine was the same way.

I haven't heard any new JUCO names kicked around in the 2012 class…yet. But I don't rule out the possibility.

3. What second year players should we keep and eye on for this year? Who will have the biggest impact? Thorton, Smith, Bennett, Owens, Zander, Etc.?

The coaches are high on Garrison Smith. Trust me on that one. Smith is a high character guy. And he's a high-talent player, too. That's a grand combo. Obviously, he's got some high caliber players in front of him on the depth chart that should hold him off for the starting spot…but those defensive linemen can't play all game…can they?

I'll take Smith here if you won't let me take Alec Ogletree. That would have been too easy.

4. Why does Vincent Williams never play? I understand they like ware and robinson but williams looks good when he gets in there?

I don't think Williams is a terrible player. He's not an outright negative when he's out there. But he doesn't have size. He doesn't score. He doesn't look to score. He doesn't stand out on defense. Maybe most of that stems from trying not to make mistakes when he does finally play…but he just doesn't bring much to the table. Ware and Robinson are going to snatch up most of the minutes…and Brantley is going to continue to be the guard off the bench because of his shooting. Since Ware and Robinson can both run the point, Williams is the third man out.

Thank You. Keep up the great work.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

BlackDeathD asks: As UGA starts spring practice, game one has to be on UGA's mind. Boise St is a team that recruits nowhere close to the talent we or even GT(although GT class was baaaaaad this year) yet they will be the favorite. Why is Boise St that good? Is it really coaching? Do their coaches really find that many diamonds in the rough? Is it their scheduling? Are they human? Could they be the exception to Dean's pass me the chainsaw speech? Could this year be the year their cockiness gets them whipped?

A few things here: 1) Scheduling does help. Where schools in bigger conferences have at least five or six "big" games a year, Boise usually only has two. 2) They get good quarterback play. 3) They have good offensive line play. 4) Despite all the attention the trick plays get, Boise is a balanced offense, with a solid running attack. 5) Coaching does appear to be top notch, but remember this: Dan Hawkins was 53-11 at Boise State. He followed that up with a mark of 19-39 at Colorado. Where was the disconnect there? Did Hawkins suddenly forget how to coach when he landed in Boulder? Did he forget how to recruit? 6) The team is always playing hard/motivated. I attribute some of that to the chip on their shoulder from always having to prove they're worthy.

I think Boise is a great team/program…but I still believe if they played in the SEC the Broncos would be just another formidable foe, with a string of big wins and a handful of disappointing losses.

Boise has maximized it's potential. It's kind of stuck where it is now. The Broncos will continue to knock off a school from a major program here or there or upset a team in a bowl game…but they'll never play for the National title. And they shouldn't.

dunkaroos8 reappears to asks: Can you help me find whatever stuff Charlie Sheen is on? I have to have some. Gotta be my new favorite actor.

I paused when I read this question to check my Twitter…Luckily, I found this from Charlie Sheen: "the title of my book has finally been delivered thru vast and expansive Lunar channels. "Apocalypse Me" Warlock Latin for WINNING. c"

Yeah. I didn't make that up. Charlie Sheen did. Just for fun, here a few more quotes Sheen has provided us in the past week…

"If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you'd be like, ‘Dude! Can't handle it, unplug this bastard!' "It fires in a way that's maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm."

"It's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee, because I don't have time for these clowns."

"I am on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."

Want me to keep going? OK, I will…

"I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren't special. People who don't have tiger blood and Adonis DNA."

"I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordnance to the ground. What they're not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes."

I'm going to end on that last one.

stnick asks: I for one am glad to see Joe T take conditioning into high gear but do you think that will carry over to the practice field this fall? We seem to be soft in this area compared to the winning teams in the SEC.Conditioning is great in the weight room, but you play like you practice and if I hear the term THUD one more year, i think i might puke.... or at least until we learn how to tackle again.Will MR coach this team to be tough or will it be someone else who gets the blame this year?

I'm a big believer in the S&C stemming effect. I just made that up, by the way. Really though, I think the S&C program carries over in many different areas: Discipline, accountability, team chemistry, bonding, hernias…that last one is a pesky negative to watch out for.

So, I think the change in S&C could directly help matters in practice. Now, I'm not sure how Richt will conduct his practices in spring or fall. He hasn't talked about that yet. But I can tell you things are changing all over the place elsewhere because of the new S&C. Players are eating better. Why? Because they have to. They're all showing up for workouts now. Why? Because they have to. They're supplementing better. Why? Because they have to.

You can argue and debate whether the workouts are the most optimal and efficient. That argument may be right.

But you can't argue that there haven't been changes made for the better. You just can't. Will it be enough to spill over into practices, film study, fourth quarters, bar fights…? One would hope…there is nobody left to blame if it doesn't. In any losing case, there will only be empty boxes to pack up the office with.

14dawgs47 asks: what are the job requirements to become a bicycle cop, I think they must hold a job fair in alabama each year.

I'm not the biggest fan of bike cops. I received an open container ticket back in college when somebody handed me an empty beer can while getting out of a cab. True story. The law is the law…and I broke it. But it just felt wrong. So I hold a grudge on any and all bike cops. If you're reading this and you are a bike cop, no hard feelings. I just hate you.

There are only a few requirements…good judgment on color-coding streamers for the handlebars. Really, really, really, tight button-up shirts. A steely gaze that screams, "I'm on to you, PUNK!" without actually having to say a word. A middle school football career that fizzled out after having bitten your own tongue. I could keep going…let's move on before I become a marked man here in Athens.

skeeter22 asks: gimme the 4 favorites to start at LB/OLB...and their positions...

Well, given the Ogletree news…I like Robinson and ‘Tree at inside linebacker (with Gilliard making a push) and Jones at ‘Sam' and Cornelius Washington at ‘Will.'

Which baby OL seems to be the fav. to play w/ Gates <----(and will he be a tackle or guard?)

Well, given the Glenn news (playing tackle), looks like Gates is going to be a guard. I like him there, anyway.

That leaves one guard spot available. I liked Benedict to be the player to take over at right tackle before I found out Glenn would be playing there. I see him as being a tackle all the way. Maybe this opens the door for Austin Long or Kolton Houston to get in there at guard. Perhaps the light switch comes on for Anderson or Harmon. I'm going to need spring practice to get my mind around all this.

cdawgie asks: Do you think Trey and Leslie will return for their senior year? My thoughts on Leslie is that he has no choice but to come back. He still needs to improve his ball handling and shooting ability. I think Trey needs to get a little tougher and stronger. With that said, we have seen less talented players leave for the $$$. Your thoughts????

I'm going to pretend I didn't answer this already. Play along if you want…or skip ahead. Your call, folks.

If anything, Leslie should have left after last season. He came back to address the two knocks on his game you mention—handle and shooting. Those are still the two weak points to his game.

The NBA is heavily predicated on one-on-one matchups…isolation…think about what the best perimeter players in the game can do: they either shoot the lights out, can get to the rim or can do both. Leslie is not ready for all that. He's too short to play forward, and he's not skilled enough to play guard. He's stuck in NBA potential limbo. I still think he could be an elite defender if he'd set his mind to it.

On the other hand, Thompkins has the height, polish and inside-outside scoring potential that will probably push him to leave early. No doubt, Thompkins needs to work on a few things, too. Mental toughness, strength, leadership, not bitching and crying about every single call that doesn't go his way—things like that. Plus, he's injury prone. Still, Trey could be a good fit for certain clubs. I don't think anybody is confusing Thompkins for a difference-making world beater at the next level, but I think he could have a productive career if he finds himself in the right situation.

I think Leslie should/may be forced to return and Thompkins will go.

Did I answer that in a somewhat different way?

coop4hsman asks: Who you got in a cocaine snorting contest? Charlie Sheen, Bobby Brown, or Robin Williams?

First of all…let's not include Sheen with mere mortals. Everybody knows Charlie is on another level…or planet. The "Cocaine Consumption" Trophy is named for Charlie Sheen. Everybody else is just snorting for it.

Also, is Ozzy Osbourne not getting the druggie love anymore? Rick James? Len Bias? Well, I guess Bias sadly proved he couldn't hang. So did John Belushi. He died way too soon.

I'm prone to go with Rick James here…but I think Lawrence Taylor would take the crown. He fits a few of the requirement I just made up. He could kill you. He could break your leg. He has awesome lightning bolt earrings. He's a sex offender. He has a simple, yet kickass nickname—LT. And he could kill you.

I think Charlie Sheen would always win this competition. He has the potential to be a WINNER! every time in this contest, but he'd probably get bored due to the lack of porn stars and rock star party, likely getting sidetracked with talk of F-18s, Vatican Warlocks and Denise Richards' boobs.

jmandawg asks: How is Aaron Murray recovering and will he be a full go for Spring Camp?

I don't want to speak for Aaron…let's welcome him into the Mail Bag so he can deliver the news himself. Aaron Murray ladies and gents, give him a hand…

Aaron, how does the ankle feel?

"I'm running and everything right now. We're good to go. I've been dancing and everything."

Oh, dancing? Any future plans to play soccer again?

"No more soccer. No basketball, soccer, baseball, softball — none of that stuff. Just football from here on out."

Probably for the best…did you think the ankle was broken at first?

"I never heard anything crack. It just twisted on me. In high school I broke my left one, so I kind of knew what the feeling was."

Could you believe all the attention a sprained ankle generated?

"I got out of the MRI and had about 50 text messages. People from everywhere were texting me…It got a little out of control with rumors."

Thanks Aaron…and remember…NO MORE SOCCER!

By the way, Murray participated in a pass skeleton Thursday night, so he is should be all set for spring practice.

begger pops his head back in to ask: On this note Fletch, have you seen a noticeable change in the physical form of these guys? I recall when Richt and DVH arrived, the improved condition of multiple players was obvious to the eye.

Thursday was really the first time I've seen any of the players…and I did notice a difference. But I always do. It's been two full months. Tavarres King is up to 196 pounds. Christian Robinson is up to 230. Not to purposefully downplay the gains made, but I always notice a difference in the players after taking an extended break from seeing them on a daily basis. They've spent two months lifting and eating better…plus, most of the players lose quite a bit of weight during the season, so I always anticipate noticeable gains made.

Whyso asks: Has Bendandbreak been banned or is he giving everyone the silent finger as he appears to be correct on Perno?

All along, I've thought Perno himself was bendandbreak. Think about the genius behind my theory: Perno pretends to be an anonymous message board poster…he questions every move he himself makes…he constantly drubs up pointless drivel about he himself sucking…he never says anything positive…he calls for his own dismissal…he even says he's going to be fired numerous times…all the while, Perno was distracting us from the message by making us despise the messenger. Brilliant!

Hey, it bought him another season. But it appears even becoming the Joseph Goebbels of message board propaganda was not enough to stretch singles into doubles and always take the easy out and—WIN BALLGAMES.

Bendandbreak's—or Perno's—plan has failed. Now that Perno will surely be canned, you won't see bendandbreak around Dawg Post anymore. There is no point for Perno to keep up the act. It's over.

thedogfather asks: Have you ever experienced ginger abuse?

Haha. I'm not a Ginger. My bro calls me a daywalker, whatever that means. I can tan. I CAN TAN!!!!!

begger jumps in to clarify: 1) A daywalker is anyone with red hair but without the nasty freckles and pale skin. So basically a half ginger 2) The Daywalker is a Ginger that does not burn in direct sunlight. Hated by true Gingers, the Daywalker can sustain extended periods in sunlight and even has traces of a soul. Because they are still part Ginger, freckles may or may not be present. 4) A mass weapon of destruction created by the gingers. The fore-gingers saw coming an impending genocide of the ginger race, so they decided to create spies with some of the qualities of the gingerhood (so they wouldn't be rejected by fellow redheads), but with exceptional looks and hardly any freckles so that those 'daywalkers' could infiltrate those of us who possess souls. Or perhaps he means that 5th definition in the link (I won't post it, as this is a family friendly site).

Thanks…I think.

nayah asks: Is Ogletree going to start, and who do you see stepping into the slot left by his position change?

I think Ogletree will start…moving your starting safety to backup inside linebacker would be like taking the pillow off your bed and laying it in the floor. What's the point? What is the use? Expect Ogletree to start…and I'm still anticipating him killing somebody on the football field. Seriously. Literally. Death. Hopefully the fatality occurs in a game and not practice. Friendly fire is hard to stomach.

ugafan699 asks: Is the hokey pokey really what its all about? And do you see a move from Commings to S now that Ogletree is at LB.

Listen, when I was a kid I got into several things: Land Before Time, Deion Sanders, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Steve Young, Power Rangers (the early years when the Green Ranger was a bad guy. Not any of the newer junk), Steve Avery (catching on to the lefty trend yet?), and on and on and on…not once did I do the hokey pokey. I never even thought to do it. I knew then it was pointless. And I know now it's pointless.

Saved By The Bell…that's what it's all about. Not the damn hokey pokey…

Anyway, you bring forth a stimulating idea. Would you rather Jakar Hamilton or Shawn Williams start? Or do you prefer Branden Smith have his name called over the PA before games? That's essentially what this idea boils down to.

I thought Sanders did well at corner last season, so I'm hesitant to disrupt that flow. Jakar only has one more season of eligibility left, so I think the best case scenario is Sanders remains at corner and Jakar becomes the "Hitman" in his final year.

But if he has problems like he did last season, then there will be moves made. Could Corey Moore play a factor in all this? Damian Swann, Nick Marshall or Devin Bowman? Hmmm….I'm digging this debate. Shall be fun to monitor the situation.

blackbulldawg asks: 1. With Washaun back in good standing how do you think the rotation is going to go during the BSU game?

OK, I'm going to pretend I'm Mark Richt and answer this question the way I think he would.

"At tailback, we know who the guys are. We just want to see them continue in all areas, pass protection, ball security, making people miss in space, finishing runs physically, knocking people—just want to see them compete. I want to see them prove that they can hold off the young pup coming in, you know."

OK, so that was really Coach Richt.

I think IC will get the most carries in that Boise State game. I really do. I don't care who starts--just who finishes. I think IC and Caleb King have the most carries in the opener.

I'm still afraid Ealey won't be on the team at that point (Don't freak out...I'm not trying to break a story. I just don't trust that he'll be here...yet).

2. Who is going to be the starting FB come the 1st game because Zander is kind of smaller than what we usually have at that position?

OK, I'm going to pretend I'm Mark Richt and answer this question the way I think he would.

"First all we've got to find out how Bruce (Figgins) is going to take to this fullback position. We think Bruce can be extremely valuable to us at the fullback position, and of course he already knows what to do at tight end. So it gives you some options to have him in the game and really not be sure where he could line up. Fullback is different than tight end. The tight end position, you're usually lined up pretty close to the guy you're blocking. You kind of get fit up on the guy, and you drive your feet, and fullback you've got to really hit people on the run. You've got to strike people and run through them. So it's a different type of blocking. I know Bruce is very capable of doing. It takes a little getting use to. Of course, you've got Zander Ogletree and even Dustin Royston are other guys that I think can play that fullback position."

OK, so that was really Coach Richt.

I want Zander to win I can make sweet ZanDarr the Barbarian references. But it sounds to me like Richt wants Figgins to be the guy. Damnit.

3. Will this be the year we finally beat UF lord knows I can't take another loss especially when half the folks I work with are fans of the Gayturds

Do you really want me to answer this? Really? I'm not going to answer this. I can't take it either.

4. OK here it goes you got BIG BEAN vs CORNBREAD vs KWAME in a triple threat ladder match who you picking?

Jerry "The King" Lawler is kicking and screaming about the potential for this one…"Oh Gawd, JR."

Let's play word assocation for all the parties involved: John "Cornbread" Jenkins: Versatility. Kwame "Look bro, don't make me tell you twice" Geathers: Man-strength. Justin "Big Bean" Anderson: Injured.

I love Anderson's potential in this match, but just like when he was next great linemen on the horizon, or the answer at nose tackle, I don't think he can stay healthy enough to climb to the top of the ladder.

This sets up an epic clash between "Look bro" and "Cornbread." I see the classic early beating taking place—Kwame uses his brute strength to gain the first advantage. But he'll soon tire out after numerous chops to the chest of "Cornbread."

The crowd will get behind Jenkins as he picks himself up off the mat. He'll use his agility, speed and size to suppress Kwame's attempts. He even pulls a Moonsault off the ropes to further prove his athleticism.

By this point Kwame is out of gas. He made an early run. He's now in the middle of a good whomping. He no longer wants any part of this. And the crowd is clamoring for a Jenkins' comeback victory to be completed.

Jenkins ascends to the top of the ladder to claim his extra-extra-extra large championship belt.

Tune in next week to Dawg Post! Wrestling, where Dean Legge will stick his head up his butt and fight for air!

5. If you introduce your girlfriend to the Murray brothers and then leave her there to go to the bathroom is she still yours when you come back? Lmao

People make a lot of money on the Internet capturing just this type of scenario…speaking of which…I just left the Minonette at Buttsmear all by her lonesome. And AMurr is there rehabbing his ankle! I've gotta go handle this…there is no telling what has happened by now.

Turn out the lights boys, the party's over. We outta here, baby. Thank ya'll for coming.

Oh yeah…Hey, PatriotSon…I've got some bad news for you. She's no longer around. You'll have to find a new obsession. Sorry.

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