Finally...The Dawg Post Mail Bag

ATHENS - Another edition of Fletcher Page's notes, observations and somewhat relavant rambling.

I don't like mayonnaise. I actually just shivered when I typed the word…mayonnaise. In fact I hate mayonnaise. I don't eat it. I refuse to look at it. And I damn sure won't smell it.

Also, I don't like ranch dressing, sour cream, honey mustard, most dressings, actually, tartar sauce, horseradish, cream cheese…the list goes on and on.

Essentially, the only condiments I'll eat include hot sauce (and I'm a bon-a-fide fanatic of hot sauce), barbeque sauce and ketchup. That's it. No questions, taste tests or anything else about it.

Knowing this, here are a few points of interest revolving around my disdain for condiments.

Everybody is amazed I hate all of these supposedly tasty enhancements. And I spend an unhealthy of amount of time declining offers to "just taste it man. You'll love it. C'mon. What's the big deal?"

Also, people try to figure out why I don't like what I don't like.

Is it because it's white? Because of the consistency? Because you've never tried it? Because you're a bitchin' rock star from Mars?

I can't answer these questions. I like what I like…and I don't what I don't. What's the big deal? Why is everybody all up in my preferences?

Why does every Subway employee look at me with an awkward face and say, "No sauce or anything on this" every time I get a sandwich? They treat me as if I'm tilting the world off its axis if I don't get mayo or chipotle southwest something or another to bring my sub to a close.

To this day, my mom will ask if I want mayo on my BLT. I'm like…did I want mayo 10 years ago? People refuse to believe I hate mayo and it's condiment friends.

Constantly, I order in fear. Drive-throughs are the worst. I know my double-bacon cheeseburger is going to be tainted by that nastiness. I always check under the top bun. And just to make sure there are no tricks pulled, I look under the bottom bun, too.

If you suffer from this too, remember this bit of advice: chicken nuggets are your friends.

Careless waitresses bother me. So do "I'm so good at this I don't write your order down" waiters. They don't understand—I can't do mayo. They don't have as much to lose in all this as I do—what are a couple bucks tip compared to a lifetime of gags and queasy thoughts?

And don't even get me started on all my "buddies," who think it's so funny to insert a well-placed packet of mayo somewhere near my person at an opportune time.

I've had mayo put on my sandwich while I was in the bathroom. I've been chased around parking lots with open packets hurled in my direction. I go into fast food joints like I'm Tom Berenger in "Sniper" because of all the sneaky attempts of subterfuge against me.

Yeah, it's that serious.

And—like most things—all this back-and-forth got me to thinking: What if I'm Mark Richt…and my Subway sandwich is the Georgia football program…and all these condiments are suggestions people have that are supposed to "enhance" my sandwich—er, program?

Seriously, how often does Richt get badgered about "something that is missing from the Georgia program"…"something that could enhance what is, in his mind, something pretty good"…?

Sure, that turkey melt is great—but you should smother that baby in spicy ranch. You can't eat the oven roasted chicken breast sub without the southwest chipotle. Nonsense, I say. Put some mayo on there, too…actually, can you add another squirt of it? You know what separates that roast beef from its counterparts? Horseradish. Lots of it. More of it.

Strength and conditioning needs revamped…the indoor facility is too small. You can't even kick and punt in there for crying out loud…Why doesn't (insert any player not playing) not get on the field more?...Why don't we just wear our traditional uniforms and go out and play?...Say, I think we should run more sets with multiple tight ends. We need to take advantage of our depth there…Why does Bobo run the same plays all the time?...You know what separates that offense from it's counterparts? Play action. Lots of it. More of it.

All these suggestions could drive a sane man berserk. And comparing my condiments situation, I feel for any college coach.

It gets old. I like food left alone. And I get tired of people bothering me about it.

But after talking to my friends, I found that they were only trying to help me. Well, most times they were trying to help. Chasing me around Zaxby's parking lot with a tub of Zax sauce didn't help.

"I'm trying to get you to open your mind," my buddy Cody Shelton, who I've known since third grade, said. "I want you to see a whole new world of taste."

And that's all fans are trying to do when they throw out random suggestions to a college coach.

Most of the time it's in the name of improving the sandwich/program. But when times get bleak—parking lot chases ensue.

Sometimes these suggestions are right. About a year ago, I tried balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing somewhere or another for the first time. And over the course of the past 12 months, I've grown quite fond of it. I thought I was destined to eat salads without dressing for eternity. And while I was OK with that, I now understand that there are more ways to enjoy a salad.

Change can happen. And it can make the salad/sandwich/program better. Take a look at the strength and conditioning at Georgia. It was long overdue for a fix-me-up, but Richt finally made a move to enhance that area of his program.

Sure it took years of lackluster performance before Richt decided to "try" something different. It took an extra year before he fired Willie, too.

Hey, it's hard to come to grips with something like this. Changing the way you've gone about things isn't easy. And when a million people are telling you about something that might make you better, it can have adverse effects.

But if you take the chance—and "just taste it, man," good things can, and sometimes will, happen. I've learned this. And I believe Richt has, too.

But don't ask me to eat mayo. Don't ever ask me to try mayo. And don't even think about suggesting the spread offense to Richt. Some things will never change.

With all that said…ladies and gentlemen, you already know what it is…let's get it poppin'.

bhdawg asks: my question is , does uga buy nutrition bars from Game on sports nutrition company, owned by Jackie Sherrill

The only aspect of the supplement side in this four square of body enhancement (work, food, supplements, rest) that I know for sure about is the protein shakes after each workout. I think they are brought in by Smoothie King—or something of the like.

Oh wait…I just dug this up for you…I'm being told the players have access to an exclusive nutrition bar. It's made of mongoose ligaments (for speed), cat tendons (for reflexes), mountain lion whiskers (for instincts) and the spit of coach John Kasey (for pure meanness).

cautry8259 proclaims: First time question from an actual mail man!

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat, nor Dean nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds"

Are the new recruits that haven't reached campus on the nutrition and workout plan?

Yeah, Coach T sent all the incoming freshmen a mondo-size book featuring the workouts, nutrition tips and goals each kid should be following.

From what I've heard, it's supposed to be the "hardest thing ever!" Or so Watts Dantzler says on Twitter. By the way, if you don't follow Watts on Twitter, I recommend that you first follow me…and then follow him. @FletcherPage…@wattsdantzler…

Just make sure you follow me though.

If they are following the same lifting and nutrition program are the sending in photos of their meals?

No, I don't believe so. The whole photo deal has been overblown just a little bit…there are members of the staff who are in the dining hall taking the pictures for the kids…and this only occurs Monday through Friday. Or so Tavarres King tells me.

Joe T then records what each player eats and tries to advise from there. He may say, ‘Hey, if you want to gain weight you need to drop this or add that…"

That's my understanding of it. Joe T can say, "No, don't eat that…get something else," in the moment. But it's not like players are sending in items off the dollar menu from McDonalds on a Saturday afternoon. There is freedom on the weekends.

Imagine if a few players from the past were dealing with this new system (and they actually had to send pics of everything…all the time)…sending Joe T pics of a Western omelet, hash browns (smothered and covered) and cinnamon raison toast from Waffle House at 3:30 in the morning on a Friday night.

That would be something. Epic, even.

Can you give us a breakdown of the new kids we have offered for the fb program and the program need for them?

Well, I know Georgia has offered over 50 kids. And I'm sure there are more that we don't publicly know of right this second.

But here's what I can offer as my answer.

You guys know by now, I'm a huge fan of recruiting along both lines. Let's start on the offensive line. Here are the players Georgia has offered (and if I leave somebody out, I'm sorry. Please don't email me saying, ‘You left so-and-so out…I can't catch all these names all the time).

At OT: John Theus, Jessamen Dunker, Vadal Alexander, D.J. Humphries, Avery Young, Quinteze Williams.

At OG: Jordan Simmons, Joe Harris, Patrick Destefano.

Now, obviously finding tackles is more important than guards…because it's harder to project tackles than guards at the next level. Also, guards are a dime a dozen. I think Theus is the top recruit on the offensive side of the ball; this is a point that can be debated. I'm OK with that.

At QB: Greyson Lambert, Gunner Kiel, Zeke Pike, Jeremy Liggins.

I think Georgia would like to take a QB, but since LeMay will probably redshirt and Murray and Mason will be around for some time, it's not imperative. Plus, the 2013 class of quarterbacks in the state is straight loaded.

At RB: Keith Marshall, Jovon Robinson

Looks like Georgia is sitting well for Marshall. There are no guarantees, so there are probably some backup options the Bulldogs are slow playing somewhere out there.

At WR: Stefon Diggs, Chris Black, Avery Johnson, Marvin Bracy, C.J. Curry, Deontay McManus, D'Vario Montgomery, Artimas Samuel, Corey Smith…etc.

Once again, Georgia has offered a ton of national recruits at WR. I'm not holding my breath.

At TE: Ricky Parks, Ty Smith, Kelvin Rainey.

Parks is quite the athlete. Smith seems like the easiest to grab. Georgia needs one player here, since White will be gone and Charles could go pro early.

At DT: Jonathon Taylor, Eddie Goldman…there are some players like Pat Gamble and Jordan Watkins that are going to be listed at DT. I personally think they are ends in the 3-4.

Georgia needs to get Taylor. End of discussion.

At DE: Gamble, Watkins, Jordan Jenkins, James Deloach, Quayvon Hicks (could be here or fullback), Josh Dawson, Jelani Hamilton, Leonard Floyd.

I'm sure there are more. Georgia needs to get at least three of these names. Maybe more. Stockpile both lines…stockpile both lines…stockpile both lines. I can't say this enough.

At LB: Josh Clemons, Raphael Kirby, Kwon Alexander, Neiquez Brown, Noor Davis, Markuss, Eligwe,

Georgia took quite a few linebackers in the 2011 class, so expect the Bulldogs to be selective this year. I think they'll take three or four if they need to, but there is no need to take a project early.

At S: Chaz Elder, Travis Blanks, Shaq Roland, Elijah Shumate, Deion Bonner (could be here or CB).

Need to get a few kids here. I like Corey Moore to play a lot over the next few years, but the depth at safety…isn't all that impressive.

CB: Bonner, Geno Smith,

Again, Georgia took a big haul of corners in the 2011 class. They can be selective, pursing Smith and Bonner like crazy.

I'm not going to do special teams. Look that noise up yourself. I can't believe I just wrote all this. Enjoy!

How's than swimsuit addition coming I requested?

I've been working out…but Dean is balking at the idea of shaving his chest. Contract negotiations are on hold until he comes around on cleaning it up a bit.

But, I'm ready.

Thanks for all the hard work on the Male Sack, you're great!

You're too kind. Thanks for the questions…keep them coming.

skeeter22 asks: Considering the class we just brought in, which recruit will/should be the coaches number #1 priority in 2012? A needs vs. talent sort of thing. Is Marshall a must? Or is there a long shot like Goldman we should make priority one?

I'm all about stocking the lines—on both sides of the ball, especially since Georgia racked up in skill players in the 2011 class.

Sticking with that belief, I think John Theus and Jonathan Taylor are the top priorities. That's just me. Of course it would be nice to add Geno Smith, Keith Marshall, Deion Bonner and Jordan Jenkins. Don't get me wrong.

But I think Theus is NFL caliber. And Taylor is the kind of lineman this defensive system needs.

On Marshall, I don't think he's a MUST. Crowell will be around for at least three seasons, so there is room for error. Marshall is icing though. His tape is something this side of Crowell. No doubt about it.

nayah asks: Have you heard anything about Crowell having some academic issues?

I have NOT heard anything about this. And I don't think we need to bark up this tree.

A five-star running back…from Carver…with academic issues…haven't we heard this story before?

Let's not revisit this script. I don't think our message board could handle that meltdown. Whatever the amount of drugs Charlie Sheen puts in his body…that would be the equivalent to the amount of hate that would rain down on Twitter and our message board.

Like that news would be the drugs…and Charlie Sheen's body would be our message board…and there would be no porn star goddesses in that equation. That means there is no upside!

Let's move on…

bhayesii asks: Not that I hold anything against Russ on a personal level, other than his losing record and maybe his negative influence on UGA VIII, what in the world of dog loving is going on with the UGA IX deployment? Russ did start out with a bang with the Tech and A&M wins but seemed to buckle under the pressure.

Russ is the classic case of too much, way too soon. He comes on board, beats Georgia Tech and wins some podunk bowl game in 2009 and he got a serious itch of entitlement.

I even saw him at Waffle House a few times in the offseason. He didn't care. He was in the spot near RaceTrac on 441, pumping quarters into the jukebox and ordering extra sausage patties.

He was like Marc Antony in a Roman bathhouse—calling shots and sticking his "neck" out there.

Anyway…all the partying caught up to Russ. He got complacent. And again, he didn't care. He was living it up.

But the results on the field speak for his actions away from it. He's through. He's bad for the program. He can go party and gorge himself all he wants. But he doesn't need to be showing his face around Athens on Saturdays anymore.

I hear rumors he is pondering a transfer to Mississippi State or Gonzaga. I also hear the Georgia coaching staff won't try to stop him.

By the way…I just made so many references to former UGA players and situations, I can't even tell one from the other. This satisfies me…to no end.

dunkaroos8 asks: Which safety do you see stepping up in the spring and becoming the other starter with Rambo? I know it's hard to tell which freshman will make an impact this early but is there a chance that we see Corey Moore getting playing time early in the season? I've read where he has great cover skills which is something we haven't seen from our safeties in quite some time.

I think the ideal scenario would be for Jakar Hamilton to fulfill his "Hitman" destiny, bang out for his final season and end this revolving door at safety. But I'm told both he and Shawn Williams are on shaky ground with the coaching staff. That doesn't mean things won't click for either one; but it needs to happen soon. Like spring soon.

If not, Corey Moore could get a shot this coming season. Grantham is all about playing young players with potential (Ogletree, Stripling, Owens, Smith), so Moore is not going to redshirt.

And I think Moore is not done growing. His father is tall and extremely athletic (played college basketball). I think Moore is going to be a good one.

blackbulldawg asks: 1. Is Lynch ever going to see the field this year and catch a pass?

I like the fact that Lynch is under the radar. I just got done contacting Edward Jones about buying some stock in Lynch.

Here's something I found interesting…Apparently, Lynch had been working out with Coach Joe T for months—before Joe T was promoted. First of all, I don't understand how a single player could be on a different workout plan than the rest of the team. That doesn't make sense, and goes against anybody's claim that there was nothing wrong with the program under DVH.

Secondly, whatever Joe T had Lynch doing in that time worked. He is by far the biggest tight end, and he certainly passes the eye test.

Everybody is talking about Orson Charles—and for good reason. And Aron White commands enough attention, too. Now, Jay Rome is going to be coming in, and most assume he'll play this year, too.

There isn't much talk about Lynch. But I think he'll see the field, especially near the goal line. And I think he'll catch a pass or three this year, too.

2. Wondering why the outside lbers weight so much compared to the middle which only is only about 230lbs?

Hey man, Christian Robinson and Alec Ogletree are trying all they can. I know Robinson is up to 230. That's a legit number. I'm told Ogletree is up to 240. I think that's very well possible.

They're catching up. Jarvis Jones is a beast and Cornelius Washington has had four years to beef up (and isn't a hard gainer like Crob). That's why you're seeing a difference.

Dent was big. Dowtin was big. These are just the current pieces Georgia has now.

3. You got Grantham and BOBO vs Richt and Garner in a tag team celebrity death match who wins?

Like death death? Like receiving mail from groundhogs dead?

Hmmm…I find it interesting that you put Richt and Garner together. I think Richt is the weak link in this foursome.

He's just a nice guy, you know. He's good with mothers on the recruiting trail. He gives kids second chances. None of that sounds conducive to winning in this match.

I'd substitute Andy Landers for Richt. As long as Pat Summit isn't involved, he could beat anybody, right? I kid. Don't kill me Andy.

Here's the way I see this playing out…

Grantham and Bobo enter the ring first, coolly labled as, "The Nation of Coordination."

The defending tag team champions, Richt and Garner—Richt known as "Boca" and Garner "La Cucaracha", follow them. We'll call them "Boca Cucaracha."

Grantham is no doubt the most intense man in the ring. And he's the best tactical wrestler, too. It's a complicated style, no doubt. But he's good.

However, Garner has a "bag" full of tricks to ensure he'll win. That's his niche and is why he's been around for so long (this is so funny to me right now, by the way). He's got brass knucks, a steel chair, a cup of hot coffee, a bag full of money—you know, things like that.

Bobo has the eye of the tiger, but during the course of the match, he constantly keeps asking Richt if the move he plans to perform is the correct way to go. This is not ideal, since Richt is on the other team.

I think Richt's advise will confuse Mike "The Understudy" Bobo, and Garner's use of weapons will disable Grantham.

The win will go to Richt and Garner, who retain the belts. However, two months later, referee Mike Slive will overturn the outcome and strip R&G of their title belts for their rampant cheating ways.

Because, you know, we've got to clean this sport up!

4. i know you said you notice a difference in the players size in the offseason but do you see a difference in this year that can translate onto the field? I need something to get excited about.

Have you seen this picture…? That should do the trick.

5. What would it take for Dean Legge to wear pants again? Lol

The "Ice Man' George Gervin, rapper Coolio and Frosty the Snowman could cuddle with Dean in a pop-up camper and he'd still be rocking shorts.

Like—he could visit friends in Alaska in whatever the coldest month in Alaska is and they'd still greet him with: "Hey Dean…what's with the shorts?"

For serious.

ForAllPeople asks: If the Bulldogs get in the NCAA T, what are their chances?

Well, I think Georgia needed to make the Tournament. Not doing so in a year with two very talented players would have been bad for the program.

So that's out of the way.

Georgia is up against a tough test in Charlotte. Washington has great, great, great guard play. They have a wonderful "leader" in Isaiah Thomas. They have seven players averaging over 30 percent from 3. They just won the Pac-10 Tourney…and the Huskies have been to the NCAAs quite a few times before. So they've been through this before.

If Georgia gets by Washington, they would most likely face North Carolina…and since the game will be in Charlotte, I don't see the Bulldogs overcoming that kind of home court advantage. I don't think Georgia can beat Carolina, but that's just me.

Still, getting to the Big Dance was the next step. Winning the first round game would be icing.

lifedawg asks: I know you and Dean like to kid each other a lot but what I want to know is when it comes down to it who walks the walk. So for my question lets go Mad Max Thunderdome style. Two men enter and only one man wins. You two enter and there is a table with perfectly prepared porterhouse steak in the middle of the arena. Who gets the steak?

RyanJordan injects his opinion: If the steak is from Applebees, Dean buys and gives it to Fletch

Tell me about it…that road is treacherous.

I'll say this for myself…Dean could knock me down 99 times…and he'd have to prepare to do it again for No.100. I'm resilient like that.

It's not as if Dean's going to take this dare anyway; he'd hate to have to tell his friends the Minion whipped his ass. So, he'd only step in the arena if he knew he could—if he was ABSOLUTELY sure—he'd win. He'd cheat. He'd lie. He'd pay someone to poison my water beforehand. He'd do whatever it took to make sure he was the victor without actually having to win fair and square.

But, I'd enlist G-6 Wes Muilenberg (Dawg Post cameraman and resident awesome guy) to protect me. With Dean's cheating ways snuffed out, I'd show no mercy. And like I said—I wouldn't take defeat. I couldn't take defeat.

The only thing I've ever lost at is…losing. I suck at losing.

gawgaboy asks: How many 'ships are available for the class of 2012 and who would make up your top choices? Personally speaking I think we have the potential to sign a very very good class. At one point there was talk that Adams ( whom we lead for per TOS), Goodwin, and Wilson wants to play together.

Fox will be able to sign as many players as he wants—upwards of five or even six if he thinks it's necessary.

Obviously Tony Parker would be my top choice. He's going to be a difference-maker in college. Unfortunately, at this time, I don't see Tony coming to Georgia. Not with Duke and North Carolina recruiting him heavily. Things can change, but at this time I don't see it happening.

I also like Shaq Goodwin. He's not the sure bet to dominate on the next level like Parker, but I think he can be a good one. And like you said, there is rumor of a package deal involving Goodwin, Jordan Adams and Damien Wilson. That rarely works out, but who knows…

I also like Brandon Morris for his upside. Evan Nolte for his versatility. Robert Carter and Charles Mitchell for size. Jarmel Reid and Jordan Price for length coupled with perimeter skills. And my sleeper in this class is Marcus Hunt, a shooting guard from North Clayton.

Remember, these are only the instate kids Georgia is going after. I don't know much about out of state kids.

RyanJordan asks: Fletch, What was your canned food of choice in college?

Not canned, but I certainly was a fan of the beef Roman noodles. MSG…sodium…death…I didn't care. I'd eat three bags at a time in my prime.

Now, my roommate in college—Burch…He and I lived on Macon Hwy. So, the RaceTrac on 441 (where Hog Mountain Rd. is) was only a short drive away.

We use to head over there most nights, usually around 1 or 2 in the morning. When we would come over the hill and see the red lights of RaceTrac, joy would punch us square in mouth. It was like seeing the lights of Vegas. I'm not joking.

We'd go in, take our time, peruse every aisle, pick things up, put things back, weigh all of our options, debate each selection, question what the other was getting—this was serious business now. And most of the time, I'd pay in quarters, dimes and nickels.

Man I miss college.

BlackDeathD asks: With all these 2012 RBs leaving the state, could this have to do with UGA signing the #1 RB in the nation in 2011? Do you think UGA has a good shot at Keith Marshall?

I think Georgia is in a good position. They must feel that way, because only a handful of other running backs have been extended an offer.

With Ken Malcome as a redshirt freshman, and Isaiah Crowell on the docket for the next three seasons, I think Georgia feels confident in only pursuing Marshall and a few other top names at the position in 2012.

By the way, did you know Keith Marshall was also a singer?

Kid is versatile. He should do well with the women when/if he gets to Athens—he's got a lot to offer.

SuwaneeDawg03 asks: 1. Spring practice begins on what are the coaches main objective to achieve during this time? What are some of the smaller objectives too? Is it simply an attitude change to make them work harder than they have in the past couple of years?

I think the broad goals are pretty much the same. Win. Get better. Learn more. Don't suck.

Seriously. That's the pecking order, in my words at least.

And yes, I think the sense of entitlement, big head syndrome and poor attitudes are either being run off or hashed out. Spring practice will continue this trend, but not as much as the new S&C policies did.

This is football practice. Richt and Bobo are trying to get the most out of the offense. Grantham is doing the same on defense. Each and every player is trying to show the coaches they need to be on the field. I don't see much changing from what the program has done over the past decade as far as how practices are conducted and all that.

2. It seems that the only workhorse on the basketball team is Nolte. I know he is not a scoring threat or loaded with talent but the kid hustles and does the dirty work. We need more of our guys to play like he does. Thoughts?

Connor does play hard. I think a lot of guys play hard—Dustin, Gerald and Travis.

I think Trey plays hard, but he's a finesse big. He's not going to get dirty going after offensive boards. That's how he's always been. I think he does play hard, but it doesn't look like it to some because of his offensive style.

It's hard to explain much about this basketball team. I don't think they don't play hard. But there've got an ensemble of players that can either make you think anything is possible or that every game is losable. It's strange and frustrating.

3. Is Dean jealous of the most popular product on Dawgpost....the Male Bag?

In a word? Yes.

In a paragraph? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes

And I love it. Like for real…I've fallen in love with hearing good things about the Mail Bag. And don't get it twisted, either. It's not about making me feel good. It's about making Dean feel bad. Real bad. Like—I want him to look in the mirror and see Charlize Theron from ‘Monster'. That bad.

I'm for real. I'm not kidding.

TripleB asks: 1. Who is the most passionate UGA fan, Peanut Butter Boy, Rocky, "White Base Coat" Boy, or Big Dawg Woods?

Hmmm…I don't see Michael Adams on your list…strange. You know he wants the ‘Dawgs' to win.

You know, I'm probably going to get blasted for this…but I doubt any on your list are the most passionate UGA fan.

I think there is an element of "Look at me," with every one of those guys. Sure, they all go to Georgia games—and almost every event in every sport, too. I commend them for the dedication. But I think deep down they've got a personal agenda to push, too. They want to be noticed and be seen. And that's fine.

I love everything that those guys do. Don't get me wrong. But just because they have a gimmick and get noticed doesn't mean they're more passionate than the next fan.

2. Give me your leaders in sacks, tackles, interceptions, and TFL next season for the UGA defense.

Wow…very tough question, especially since I don't know the depth chart and there are so many variables left to play out (injuries, people quitting, cataclysmic events).

But I like this premise because it's subjective, and I can come back and change things after spring/summer/fall.

Sacks – DeAngelo Tyson – I'll be the first to say—I have no clue about this one. Houston racked up 10 sacks from the 'Will' outside linebacker position, so I wanted to pick Cornelius Washington. Then I realized it was Cornelius Washington…I'm still waiting to see him prove he's capable. Then I thought about being cute and sliding in Brandon Boykin here. Remember, Javier Arenas had five sacks at Alabama in 2009 from the corner position. But then I backed off this idea. So, then I thought maybe an inside guy like Robinson or Ogletree would get to the quarterback the most…obviously, I've invested way too much time in this. Let's move on.

Tackles – Christian Robinson. This has to be an inside linebacker.

Interceptions – Sanders Commings. Teams won't throw at Boykin. And I'm going to need Sanders to stay at corner for this to come true.

TFL – Alec Ogletree – Once again, I'm not entirely sure of this. It could be any player from a long list.

3. Do you think UGA fans will ever be able to say the following, attributed to Charlie Sheen: On his daily life: "It's perfect. It's awesome. Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary. People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view."

I love the Charlie Sheen appearance in the Mail Bag, but I doubt it. Even Florida, who was #winning so thoroughly from 2006-2009, can't say that now.

So even if Georgia achieves such a distinction, or disheention, those days are usually fleeting.

That's fitting, too, because Sheen will surely die soon. Don't you think? I mean, look and listen to the guy…he's going to die…soon.

AlltelDawg asks: 1.Something CMF said in an interview sounded like he was implying that with a couple of our NBA they might be "Protecting their bodies" and he can only get them to do what they will do. Maybe that just how it sounded to me. Do you feel some guys might be doing that which would account for the inconstancy.

I don't feel that way…and I'll tell you why: Trey and Travis are not "sure-fire" first round picks. At one time, Trey was thought to be a lottery pick, and Travis was believed to be a first round pick.

Now, there are mixed opinions about each.

Nobody has the option of "protecting their bodies" to make sure they'll be drafted…because now they're not even sure if they'll be drafted.

They've got to go out and perform hard to improve their stock. I think this question is kind of related to the one I answered earlier…about the players playing hard.

I know at times it doesn't look like everybody is playing hard, but I don't buy that.

2. With the TE's we have and the OL blocking issues we had. this spring would you like to see UGA try and use a more 2TE set which we could power run or have a 4 wr set out of?

I would like to see some creative waves. I think Orson and Aron provide an athletic tight end to aid in this endeavor. Now, we've been talking about "flexing tight ends" and who knows what else for two years now. And it's only happened a handful of plays. At some point, the potential for something awesome to happen has to actually happen.

So, once again, I don't expect much to change or be different. The offense is what it is at this point.

I will say this…I would prefer to sacrifice the fullback on most plays to get an extra tight end or receiver out there. It's all about being a weapon—a viable weapon that defenses must account for. I'd rather see a second tight end, be it White, Lynch or Rome, or a third receiver than any of the fullbacks Georgia currently has. But that's just me.

Do you think Dean is secretly jealous of the HUGE success of the Flech Lives Mail Bag?

I think it's under his skin that I was right and he was wrong. But ultimately, Mail Bag success means Dawg Post success…which means Dean success.

He's kind of like the Scottie Pippen to my Michael Jordan. I'm throwing daggers and he's reaping the benefits. He's still a viable option, just like Pippen. But he knows who is responsible for all this Dawg Post #winning.

Petep211 asks: If I put new tires on my son's car, could this be considered as "child care" and deducted from my taxes?


This may be a question for former NBA player Calvin Murphy. He has 14 illegitimate kids by nine women. Not a typo. Shawn Kemp is a close second, currently with 13 illegitimate children with nine women.

I'm all about some sexual healing…but how do these guys not get tired? What keeps them going, day in and day out, pushing through the rigors and hardships of such a stressful schedule? True athletes, I say. True athletes, indeed.

Here's a game we can add to our Mail Bag fun: Let's play, "Who Can Solicit The Calvin Murphy Response," each week. The winner will get a free bottle of baby powder and box of dysfunctional Magnum condoms.

Petep211, enjoy your lovely gifts! I'm sure you'll find them useful.

begger asks: why's your moms such a buzzkill?

Give her credit, she is cool with all my damns and hells and Charle Sheens and Katy Perrys…but when the Clermont Lounge comes into the Mail Bag…seriously—the Clermont Lounge?!?!? That's when the Minion's Mother comes into play and says: "Fletcher, is everything going OK? You know I wanted you to be a teacher…a coach…anything…Maybe you should come home for a few weeks. Think about it? I'm getting worried. Call your grandmother and tell her you love her. Maybe you'll think about things after that conversation."

And what do you know about Phillip Jurick and our chances at landing the big man?

I know of his past at Tennessee; he actually got pushed out due to oversigning. For real. It happens everywhere and every sport, apparently.

I don't know what Georgia's chances of landing him are—but again, the Bulldogs are kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel. I mean think about it, he was forced out at Tennessee after taking a redshirt season.

Maybe he's a late bloomer. Maybe he's "figured it out." Maybe. I have no clue. When you can't even Google a kid's stats—and the only thing that pops up are stories from 2009—that's not good.

I did manage to find out he was averaging 10 points, 12.6 and 9.5 blocks per game in 24 contests this year. I'm skeptical of the blocks tally.

For whatever that's worth. I'm not sure if it's accurate. And what else happened after 24 games this year.

MrBigDAWG asks: Fletch, Here's the deal. It is up to you to save mankind. You can choose one other person to go with you to a deserted island to procreate and save the human race. You can also take three items with you. Who you taking and what three items are you taking with you?

What pressure…what awesomeness…

See, you guys think I'm going to say Katy Perry, just because I've referenced her so many times, don't you?

Well, I'm not playing second fiddle to Russell Brand. I won't do it.

But I will to Andy Roddick…I'm taking Brooklyn Decker to that deserted island…and we may not save mankind, but we'll try. Very hard. And often.

Keeping with my past Mail Bag answers, I'm going to take an iPod (with an unlimited battery source) full of Kanye West and Don Henley. I'll also be packing Robert Duvall, because—well, you guys know.

For my third and final item…I think I'll take photocopies of every story Dean has ever written. Hey, I'm going to need something to use for toilet paper on this island.

With that, I'm off to save mankind. I can't wait…

Turn the lights out boys, the party's over. We outta here, baby. Thank ya'll for coming.

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