I Dream of Stafford

BIRMINGHAM – Kentucky wide receiver Dicky Lyons Jr. told reporters Friday he didn't want to talk about the evaluation he received from the NFL during the offseason. Apparently a future playing on Sundays might be a long shot for him. A future doing stand-up comedy, however, might be more realistic.

Lyons had a gathering of reporters in stitches with his musings on his former teammates now in the NFL ("I call them, and they won't pick up anymore"), on how long head coach Rich Brooks will remain on the job with assistant Joker Phillips already designated as his replacement ("Until coach Joker comes along with that pin that pops his life vest") and his new quarterback's budding relationship with the rest of the receiving corps ("It's upsetting because he doesn't look for me as much").

But the best story Lyons told may have been about a dream he had about Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford.

Lyons, a senior at UK, recently got engaged. Since then, he said, he's been having regular dreams that his fiancee is planning to leave him.

"Cosmo says it's natural to have these dreams," Lyons said.

After attending a camp hosted by Peyton and Eli Manning and attended by dozens of top college players, including Stafford, Lyons had another of these dreams. In it, a suspicious Lyons follows his fiancee to a local bar, approaches her and asks what she's doing. She responds that she doesn't want to marry him.

Frustrated, Lyons shakes her and yells at her. Then, he makes the mistake of slapping her in an attempt to bring her back to reality. That's when Stafford steps in.

"I turn around," Lyons said, "and Matt Stafford punches me in the nose."

Stafford then yells at Lyons that, "You don't hit women!"

Like all great dreams, a bit of craziness ensues from there. Former Georgia quarterback Blake Barnes – playing the role of Stafford's backup even in dreamland -- steps in and starts hitting Lyons, too.

"I'm fighting all these quarterbacks," Lyons said, "and I did pretty well because I was fighting them, twisting their arms, and I knew a bunch of Army Ranger choke holds in my dream. It was just crazy."

When he woke up, Lyons was still laughing about the dream. So he grabbed his cell phone and dashed off a quick text message to Stafford. "I'm dreaming about you," it said.

So did Stafford reply?

"No, no response," Lyons said. "I don't know if he liked me that much."

Dawg Post Top Stories