Someone needs to get the Internet to work all of the time. I mean, seriously? You've got nearly 1,000 supposed members of the "media" here for the biggest event outside of the SEC Championship and you can't make the wireless work? Where are we… Alabama?
GIVE ME THE PEPPER.
If you don't like Dr. Pepper you'd better stay home. My Diet Dr. Pepper rush each day is about the only thing that keeps me going through the endless coach speak from the players and the idiot questions from the idiot reporters.
For the record, these are the only three days a year that I drink Diet Dr. Pepper.
QUIT. IT IS NOT HAPPENING.
It's not going to happen. No, old dude, the young on-air TV talent is not going home with you. I mean, look at you (and personal appearances shouldn't be made fun of), but you need to get into the gym. Hell, I'm packing a few pounds extra than I did while in college, but I'm not trying to pick up women, either. You really think she thinks you are funny? Don't worry she doesn't because you're not.
I see you working it. You've got your first gig with the student paper and you are going to blow it out of the water here at Media Days… show the old-timers what's up.
No, you're not.
No one knows who you are… no one cares. You've decided to sit in the big room with the "big boy" reporters, but you are not them, and quite frankly they are pretty lame, and for the most part they are what you will be when you get older (see: QUIT. IT IS NOT HAPPENING above). Write your story, toil at the Student Times and get ready for the real world – full of student loan debt and weight gain.
The 20-second shot of Dan Mullen you are risking your life for is not that important. But you know that, and yet the herd mentality takes over – Mooooo. And yes, I would enjoy you not running into me… twice in a ten-minute period of time. I'm not moving. I'm standing still. And, no, I'm not moving out of your way. I mean, come one, what in the hell are you really getting out of that footage? Ryan Mallett coming in and out of a door? That's what the public wants these days?