On Campus: Think You Know the Clones?

I am not good at many things. My athletic ability peaked when I was 12 years old, after I torched the South Des Moines area sixth graders for 6 touchdowns and an estimated 276 all-purpose yards in a flag football game. Most nights I convert less than an Iowa State field goal kicker when I scout the prospective "talent" at the local establishments.

I am not good at many things. My athletic ability peaked when I was 12 years old, after I torched the South Des Moines area sixth graders for 6 touchdowns and an estimated 276 all-purpose yards in a flag football game. Most nights I convert less than an Iowa State field goal kicker when I scout the prospective "talent" at the local establishments. And my grade point average won't make me a Rhodes Scholar anytime in the near future. But there is one aspect in this life where I rank in the top tier of the world standings. I am the self-proclaimed LeBron James of worthless sports information. 

         

At the age of ten, I would go to the local Damon's rib joint on Monday nights for their weekly sports trivia contest. I'm sure you've seen these contests before in which a bunch of middle-aged dudes drink their Killian's and punch away at those wireless boxes to answer random facts that nobody in their right mind should know. Well Monday nights were always sports night and consistently drew a large crowd. And like a silent assassin, I routinely cleaned up on these sports nights like Matt Damon at the poker table in "Rounders." I dominated. The prize was always a free 32 oz. beer, so the only reward I could receive was the satisfaction of humbling a bunch of insurance agents. And that remains the only real use for this supposed "skill-set."

 

Having an expertise in sports knowledge is about as useful as knowing Jessica Alba's vitals. You may be able impress drunk guys at a bar, but it frightens a good portion of the rest of humanity. And that, apparently, is my lot in life.

 

With that in mind, here's a test to see how much you really know about the Cyclones. Get them right and maybe we can have a showdown, John Wayne style. (The answers are at the end of the questions, so don't look until all are completed.)

 

Routine

 

  1. The Iowa State baseball team's final game was against whom?

A. Nebraska        B. Central Florida      C. Baylor       D. Oklahoma State

 

  1. Kelvin Cato played at which school before coming to Iowa State?

A. Miss. Delta Comm. College   B. South Alabama C. New Orleans D. Austin Peay

 

  1. Who did the ISU women lose to in the elite 8 in 1999?

A. UCONN B. Stanford    C. Georgia      D. Rutgers

 

Challenge

 

  1. Which of these schools did Seneca Wallace attend before ISU?

A.  Ponderosa CC B. Oregon State C. Concordia CC    D. Oakland Hills CC

 

  1. Which former Cyclone ball-carrier has played the most snaps in the NFL?

A. Blaise Bryant   B. Artis Garris           C. Calvin Branch       D. Joe Parmentier

 

  1. Who scored the first touchdown of the 2000 Insight.com Bowl?

 

Legendary

  1. Name the three guards in Marcus Fizer's recruiting class?

 

  1. Who blocked the punt against Iowa in the first quarter in the 27-9 win in 1998?

 

  1. What is the third Davis brother's name? (Troy and Darren's bro)

 

Heroic

  1.  Name Tinsley's eleven career losses? (Googling is for wimps.)

 

Answers:

  1. D. Oklahoma State
  2. B. South Alabama
  3. C. Georgia
  4. B. Oregon State (Seneca then went to Sacramento CC before ISU)
  5. C. Calvin Branch (Branch was kicked off by Mac in 1995, went to Colorado State and played for six years for the Oakland Raiders as a D-back.)
  6. Chris Anthony (Anthony scored the first two TDs.)
  7. LaMont Sides, Lee Love, Paris Corner
  8. Kevin Wilson
  9. Jason (He was expected, but never made it to Ames)

10.  In order: Drake, Cincinnati, Oklahoma, Colorado, Michigan State, Iowa, Missouri, Oklahoma State, Texas, Baylor, Hampton

 

Scoring

 

1-3 points: Andrew Skoglund: You are likeable, but not good enough to compete with the big boys.

 

4-6 points: Curtis Stinson: You made some great answers, but couldn't convert the tough ones.

 

7-9 points: Seneca Wallace: If only you had that one question back, or that game against UCONN.

 

10 points: Fred Hoiberg: Your name will be recited for years to come. Congrats. You have my admiration.  

 


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