The Shadow's Rant

<p>The Shadow was in a nasty mood over the weekend. I found him after he had a lengthy session of drinking beer at a sports bar and watching the loss at Purdue on TV. He was depressed. The Dark One lived up to his billing with opinions that aren't sugar coated and he is not afraid to share them. Read on at your own risk!

Q. What comments would you care to share about the Iowa loss?

A. We can't have a Statue of Liberty at QB. McCann runs like a three legged dog. Why doesn't Brad Banks play? Players have been telling me for weeks that Banks is by far the best QB. That is one reason Babyboy Beutjer left. Betts is not particularly fast when healthy. Therefore, since he has the bad wheel, why not play Greving and Russell? Although, the offensive line was not blowing holes. Ken O'Keefe's play calling was all in the missionary position.

Q. Will Scott Raridon possibly go to Iowa if Bob Davie is fired at Notre Dame?

A. Bob Davie is a jerk. He fired Joe Moore at Notre Dame for being too old. Moore then won an age discrimination lawsuit against Notre Dame. Joe was the mentor of Kirk Ferentz, first as his high school coach and later as the offensive line coach at Pitt. Davie back stabbed Lou Holtz and got the ND job as a result. His operatives also badmouthed Barry Alvarez. Want to compare records? Barry wins three Rose Bowls and Davie can barely edge Navy, while losing to Air Force. What goes around comes around and Bob is getting his soon.

However, I wouldn't count on Raridon not signing with Notre Dame, especially if former Mason City coach Barry Alvarez goes to Notre Dame. Barry coached Scott Raridon Sr. at Mason City. Raridon went to Nebraska and the following year Barry joined Hayden's staff in Iowa City.

I talked to Scott Raridon Sr. on Sunday morning. Scott said "My son and I would love to have Barry Alvarez at Notre Dame!"

I am not predicting that it will happen, but several years ago Barry told me that the only place that he would ever leave Wisconsin for is "to go back where I came from." Remember, he left Lou Holtz's staff at ND to become head coach at Wisconsin.

Q. With in state talent numbers down, will Iowa have a football recruiting class as good as last year?

A. No! It will be better. The staff will bring in great athletes and SPEED from all over. Look South to Florida and Texas and East to New Jersey and Pennsylvania.

Q. How does Larry Eustachy get all those JUCO's in school at Iowa State?

A. That is not the correct question. It should be "How does Larry Eustachy get the JUCO's through 1 1/2 years of school? The answer is they are enrolled in the Jamaal Tinsley school of Rocket Science. Those having a hard time with basketball physics in the Rucker Park are tested thoroughly in the Davis Brothers Wunderlick Testing Center. Scores of 4 or 5 receive passing grades. Larry gets $1.4 million for this while the baseball team gets three strikes, "You're OUT!" "Hire education" in Ames?

Q. Does Steve Alford have a hairdresser?

A. Are you nuts? La Femme Tanya would never allow this. However, Steve has a working knowledge of hair gels and pomades.

Q. Is Duke's basketball class better than the fab five at Michigan?

A. No. In today's marketplace, Chris Webber would have gone straight to the NBA. Duke has no one that good.

Q. Should Wisconsin have received a stiffer penalty?

A. No! Wisconsin gets hit for $23,000 of shoe discounts. Meanwhile, Chris Webber and Tractor Traylor get $250,000 from Eddie Martin, the numbers game bookie at the Ford plant. No NCAA penalty yet for Michigan. Not to mention the slap on the wrist that Minnesota got for academic fraud. The NCAA is a self-serving organization that will not disturb the revenue stream coming to them. In other words, they suck big time.

Q. Will Dan McCarney be in Ames next year?

A. Not if he can help it. If Barry Alvarez goes to Notre Dame, Dan will politic for the job in Madison. Dan is very popular with the football backers in Madtown. In addition, Minnesota has been one of Dan's recruiting territories. Mason's unabashed seeking of the Ohio State job means he had better win this year because his popularity will approach Osama Bin Loden's.

Q. Why is Notre Dame football like Princess Diana?

A. Both were dead before they came out of the tunnel.

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