As luck would have it, Santa stopped by the homestead recently to drop off some gifts. The tenor of our message boards this year had me worried. I thought the jolly old stocky guy (edited for political correctness) might be backing up a coal truck to my door.
Fortunately for a lot of you out there, Santa forgives and forgets pretty easily. He delivered some things you won't find under your tree but dearly need.
And remember, if you have a complaint, don't kill the messenger. I'm just handing these things out. St. Nick brought them and you earned them.
So, without further ado, everybody gather around the eggnog. It's time to hand out our second annual holiday presents for the Hawkeye Nation:
To Jon Miller - A life-size Fathead of Jake Christensen. You can put this thing up behind you when you do your Vlogs in order to torment Hawkfantastic.
To Hawkfantasic - Your own Christensen Fathead so you're tormented even when you don't watch Jon's Vlogs.
To Todd Lickliter - Jeez, where the heck do we start here? You'll bring the right guys in and get your system installed in time. That I don't doubt. What you most need is a short memory because watching the Hawkeyes this season could create a life's worth of nightmares.
To Jake Christensen - Here's hoping you get the last laugh. You're battered and bruised from being tossed under the bus, but you have the talent and work ethic to make a lot of folks eat their words.
To Kirk Ferentz - Some more luck, players acting more responsibly, a willingness to change some more, and more understanding fans.
To Brian Finley - A map of New York and New England.
To Gary Barta - A guillotine sharpener, if there is such a thing. You've been chopping some heads and more could be headed to the block.
To The Jackass - The ability to convince me to attend the state fair next summer. I'm not sold yet.
To Storminspank - A different avatar. That current one is freaking me out.
To Gameday Ron - A giant can of shaving cream and a straight edge, what else?
To Charles Godfrey - A great Senior Bowl and combine workout that lands you in the first two rounds of the draft.
To Tony Freeman - Less pain in your foot after taking a huge one for the team against UNI. It could be the signature win for this team and it wouldn't have happened without you.
To Everhawk - A dinner date with Mike Mangino. We better make it a buffet.
To Carver-Hawkeye Arena - A rebirth.
To Kinnick Stadium - Another long winning streak for the home team.
To Lisa Bluder - An NCAA Tournament Berth. Things need to get better.
To Digger - A ticket to a wrestling meet.
To Ken O'Keefe - Less blame.
To Norm Parker - The ability to call it a day when you see fit.
To Tom Brands - Total domination. ( I still don't know what that means, but it sounds cool.)
To Jack Dahm - An NCAA Berth. How cool would that be?
To the media - The ability to recognize that a blog is not a legitimate source.
To Hawkeye Nation - The Big Ten network.
There you have it.
Happy Holidays to all.