Source of pain

Roy Williams, physics, and the masses

When Roy Williams first referred to the worldwide web as the "crapnet," I doubt he had any idea of what would happen this week. Everyone on every message board has a different "source." Some say Roy's staying. Some say Roy's leaving. There have been rumors placing Roy in up to four different locations at the same time.

That's all okay though. If you rely on Internet drivel as a solid source of information, I have some used eggs I'd like to sell you. However, this situation has become truly unique and tricky. Roy Williams and Dick Baddour, the only REAL sources for this story, have been so tight-lipped that sports radio stations, starving for information on the biggest college basketball story out there, have started citing message boards as sources on the air. Hmmm, maybe those radio producers would like to buy some of my eggs.

If the mayhem doesn't stop soon, I wouldn't be surprised to read that Roy is moving to Pennsylvania to raise some barns, churn some butter, and teach the Amish how to play ball. Trouble is, this rumor might actually be true. He should certainly consider it, if only to escape the rumors and unjustified criticism.

After a week of reading about all the conflicting sources, I came to the conclusion that one of two things must be true. First, there is a very remote possibility that some posters were actually (and you may want to cover your eyes if you're easily offended) be FABRICATING INFORMATION! However, after considering the integrity of the Kansas and North Carolina programs and fans, I figured that this could not possibly be the case. Therefore, the problem must be with me. The second and most obvious possibility is that I did not know the definition of the word "source," so I went to, arguably the second greatest website out there next to, and looked it up. This is what I found:

Source (sôrs, srs) n.

1.. The point at which something springs into being or from which it derives or is obtained.
2.. The point of origin, such as a spring, of a stream or river.
3.. One that causes, creates, or initiates; a maker.
4.. One, such as a person or document, that supplies information:
5.. Physics. The point or part of a system where energy or mass is added to the system.

I was familiar with the first four definitions, but the fifth one really surprised me and caught my eye. Consider this: If the "system" is Kansas and North Carolina fans, and you simply insert the word "hysteria" after "mass," then you have a perfect description of what has happened to these two fan bases over the past week. When someone is citing a "source," they are merely trying to create energy and mass hysteria!

I would like to personally commend those individuals on doing a fine job. Keep up the good work. Top Stories