Hair band jeopardizes KU's basketball future

Forget the question regarding bench or worries about three point shooting. Kansas basketball had a close call with potentially devestating event.

A couple months ago, I came within a few inches of single-handedly obliterating the Jayhawks' hopes of returning to the final four. Ironically, I was on my way to Allen Fieldhouse to pick up my student basketball tickets for what promises to be a pair of classic battles with the EA Sports All-Stars and the Washburn University Ichabods. Tediously inching my way down Naismith Drive, I came to a four-way stop, where I waited for approximately two minutes while the cars to my right and left tried to decide who should turn first by each moving forward three nanometers at a time and then waving at the other car.

During this pilgrimage to my personal cross-campus Mecca, my adrenalin was extremely high. Why wouldn't it be? Basketball season was just over a month away. Rumors were flying that David Padgett and Omar Wilkes were favoring KU over the other powerhouses. I got an A on my microeconomics test. When my adrenalin gets high, I tend to roll down the windows and sing along to my Motley Crue CDs in my car. Tragically, my favorite part of "Kickstart my Heart" was playing just as I was finally rolling through the stop sign on Naismith, causing me to squint my eyes, throw back my head, and shriek, "kickSTART my HEEAAAAARRRTT!!!"

Jayhawk faithful, you should feel extremely fortunate that Vince Neil's scream didn't last a split second longer, for I looked down from my flawless impersonation just in time to brake for Nick Collison; the Jayhawk forward was crossing the street in front of Murphy Hall. Nick was completely oblivious, probably too tall to see the cars driving past his heels, or perhaps his size 86 sneakers dwarfed my car so much that he just didn't notice.

Don't worry, Kansas fans. I've learned from this experience. Now I only listen to Eric Clapton and James Taylor when I'm driving on campus. Top Stories