Muck Whom?

Drastic times call for drastic actions.


Okay, let's try it again:


Come on, folks. It's only for a couple hours, I promise, but we have to root for M-I-Z-Z-O-U this week. As per usual, the Tigers are not a threat to the Big 12 crown. However, their Wednesday opponents, the Oklahoma Sooners, certainly are. In fact, after the Jayhawks' losing effort (emphasis on effort) against the Sooners, Kansas is now in second place after the tiebreakers. In other words, Oklahoma has to lose for Kansas to claim their second consecutive regular season championship.

But you already knew that. What you may not know is that Oklahoma is a choking wildcat away from being .500 on the road in the Big 12 this season. Missouri is unbeaten in the seventh circle of Hearnes Center. And for the superstitious, in last Sunday's game, Hollis Price missed two free throws in a row. If that isn't a harbinger of doom for the Sooners, I don't know what is. Wednesday's game is the best remaining chance for Oklahoma to lose. Sure, they play Texas to wrap up the season, but that's in Norman, where Oklahoma remains unbeaten. The home team always has the advantage in the top half of this conference this year.

What I am asking you to do is not easy, but it is essential that, for two hours Wednesday evening, you hate the Sooners more than you hate the Tigers. I understand that it is difficult to get excited about a perennial fifth-runner-up whose coach can't ever seem to find the bench or a hair stylist, so I have developed a psychological device to make it easier. Every time you feel your hatred for the Tigers about to boil over, just imagine this: On March 8, in front of a half-empty Hearnes center, Kirk and Nick hoist the 2003 Big 12 Championship trophy at center court to a chorus of boos and jeers from the remaining Tiger fans. It doesn't seem quite as painful now, does it? So let's try this one more time:

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