Vols Unveil Strict New Policy

Stunned by criticism of his blocking a proposed attendance policy for Vols student-athletes, Tennessee football Coach Phil Fulmer has proposed a policy he can live with that he claims will show the school's commitment to its student-athletes. GatorCountry.com has unearthed a copy of that policy and we offer it for your evaluation:

  1. Tennessee student-athletes will be required to attend ALL class sessions unless they are tired, hungry or in a bad mood.
  2. Student-athletes will miss one competition for EACH unexcused absence from class. Absences can only be excused by the professor, position coach or Jim Harrick Junior.
  3. Student-athletes may earn "excuse credits" by scoring touchdowns, forcing turnovers or sacking opposing quarterbacks.
  4. If the professor and student-athlete disagree on whether or not the individual was in class that day, the student-athlete's roommate will arbitrate the dispute.
  5. All attendance rules are suspended the weeks Tennessee plays Florida, Georgia or Alabama.
  6. The Head Football Coach will have the authority to postpone suspensions until the following semester if warranted.
  7. Any student-athlete who learns the words to Rocky Top will be exempt from this policy.

In the event you missed it from my last column, there are new words to the Vols fight song:

Glad that I'm a Jock on Rocky Top, Don't go to classes 'round here Tutors take our tests on Rocky Top, While we drink moonshine and beer

Fulmer's got our backs on Rocky Top, long as we keep making plays Don't even got to meet our professors, cuz touchdowns earn us straight A's

Rocky Top, you'll always be, easy as A-B-C Good Ole Rocky Top, don't 'spect school work from me

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