MTV and the Big Dance

Possibly lost in the clutter of box scores and college basketball news in general in recent days was an announcement by CBS. A question had arisen regarding what the network would do if coverage of the impending war with Iraq would, god forbid, infringe on the network's broadcast of the NCAA Tournament. To the relief of millions of college basketball fans, management indicated that they did indeed have a contingency plan.

CBS is owned by Viacom, which also owns several cable networks. The NCAA Tournament coverage would be moved to one of those networks. Among the options would be switching some of the games on to MTV. This potential collision of two worlds, pop music and a major sporting event, caused my twisted little mind to spin with ideas of what this could mean:

  • Would Carson Daly join the play-by-play announcers? Who would be least annoying--Daly or Billy Packer? I would be happy to take my chances with Daly.
  • Would the production crews adopt a music video style of camera work, requiring the scene to change at least every five seconds? Bring on the Tylenol.
  • Instead of "The Osbornes", perhaps we could have "The Tar Heels." There should be plenty of tattoos, yelling and screaming, obscenity, and petulant youths here to keep regular MTV viewers entertained.
  • On an episode of "Cribs", we could cross over the protective moat surrounding the Duke basketball offices and view the inner-sanctum of Coach K. Of course, they might have a better chance of gaining access to the White House Situation Room, but that wouldn't fit the theme here, now would it?
  • MTV could set up an Internet poll to vote for seven players and/or coaches to participate in "The Real World." I'll warn you now, I'm going to vote for Bob Knight as many times as possible in hopes that the other six roommates gang up and beat the crap out of him.
  • Before the Final Four, one player from each remaining team could be selected to co-host MTV2's Hip-Hop Countdown. They could bridge cultural and generation gaps by telling white-bread old farts like me what the hell these rappers are talking about!
  • I don't even want to think about what the "One Shining Moment" montage after the championship could be like. It's safe to assume that scantily clad women would be involved, which at least will lessen the pain for many fans of the losing team.

If anyone with MTV should read this piece, I have plenty of other ideas I'll be glad to share with you. We're talking cutting edge here, dog!

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