Winging it, Volume 13

(With apologies to Don McLean) A not-so-long time ago I can still remember a patsy in the Big Eight. Oh, Kansas State knew their place, which wasn't in the conference race those Wildcats, yeah, losing was their fate

(With apologies to Don McLean)

A not-so-long time ago I can still remember a patsy in the Big Eight. Oh, Kansas State knew their place, which wasn't in the conference race those Wildcats, yeah, losing was their fate

But then Coach Anal got recruitin', with every autumn he was lootin' all the JUCOs and the high schools And those uniforms got retooled. I can't remember if I laughed when bowls still gave the 'Cats the shaft. That Copper Bowl trophy was quite a craft, You have to pity these guys.

CHORUS: Oh why, why do the 'Cats even try? Go from awesome back to flotsam every time they stop by Lincoln's no good for a frisky cat's pride the Big Red makes 'em run and hide the Big Red makes 'em run and hide.

Do you vote in the AP Poll? Could you care less if they now roll over outmanned Utah State? Ahh, do you believe that worn-out line, "We won 11 four straight times" Does it count when schedules are fourth-rate?

Well, you know I think that it's a shame that the purple ones just like to blame "all those media fools," they hate the Dallas Morning Newwwws See, they're a lonely team on the Great Plains who's at .500 but still complains But you know that no one hears their strains You have to pity these guys.

Oh why, why do the 'Cats even try? Go from awesome back to flotsam every time they stop by Lincoln's no good for a frisky cat's pride Yeah, the Big Red makes 'em run and hide Yeah, the Big Red makes 'em run and hide

Now for eight years, Snyder's made 'em good Like I guess that all control-freaks could And everyone forgot how it used to be Suddenly K-State was on the fly with an offense borrowed from Hayden Fry and their boys got a lot less friendly.

But the Huskers were still winning titles, Red Clad Loons rollin' in the aisles, And the 'Cats, they still got burned -- remember Mike Fullman's return? And while the Huskers visited the White House and Dr. Tom got a Gatorade souse Snyder slinked away to grouse, You have to pity these guys.

We were singin' Why, why do the 'Cats even try? Go from awesome back to flotsam every time they stop by Lincoln's no good for a frisky cat's pride The Big Red makes 'em run and hide The Big Red makes 'em run and hide

Mumble, grumble, K-State tumbles on the road when they and Huskers rumble Eight poll spots now and fallin' fast; Just as FieldTurf is synthetic grass the purple boys get forced to pass 'cause it worked once, long ago, in the past.

Now by halftime, the air's filled with red balloons The fight song is a well-requested tune It always happens at Memorial, Whoaa, where the Huskers always roll!

Frost, Green, Frazier all made K-State wail Varsity was getting hailed Do you recall how game plans failed? You have to pity these guys.

We started singin' Oh why, why do the 'Cats even try? Go from awesome back to flotsam every time they stop by Lincoln's no good for a frisky cat's pride The Big Red makes 'em run away and hide Yeah, the Big Red makes 'em run away and hide.

Oh there we all were in '98 a two-loss team limping from the gate with no time left to tend to needs So Mike was nimble, and Mike was quick Michael Bishop wowed those Kansas hicks funny that he couldn't even read And as we watched 'em tear down all the posts we thought, "what a bunch of lousy hosts" No angel was that 'backer Who ripped off Eric's head And as the team bus headed out of town it was met by a bunch of drunken clowns Who forgot what comes goes back around; You have to pity these guys.

We were singin' Why, why do the 'Cats even try? Go from awesome back to flotsam every time they stop by Lincoln's no good for a frisky cat's pride The Big Red makes 'em run away and hide The Big Red makes 'em run away and hide

(decrescendo)

Manhattan's been good to KSU just like Coach Anal wanted it to But they forget -- this game's away. They're coming up to the sacred zone, where "Sirius" plays on the microphone and they'll get beat on basic option plays. And in the stands the Loons shall scream, For the Big Red, that top-ranked team; Now K-State fans, don't get smokin' -- You know I've just been jokin'. Still, the Husker I admire best Wears Number 7 on his chest, He'll whip the 'Cats and that's no jest -- You just can't catch that guy.

And we were singin' Why, why do the 'Cats even try? Go from awesome back to flotsam every time they stop by Lincoln's no good for a frisky cat's pride The Big Red makes 'em run away and hide The Big Red makes 'em run away and hide

They were singin' Why, why do the 'Cats even try? Go from awesome back to flotsam every time they stop by Lincoln's no good for those frisky cats' pride At last, this is the song's last line.

==STEVE==

Raising hail, varsity. Get down to THE POND, Home of Nebraska's RED CLAD LOON.


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