Some people are very angry about this important streak coming to an end because it was highly relevant in their lives. Others are depressed about the whole thing. Still others are confused and have begun to experiment with alternate lifestyles, such as cheering for other teams, horror of horrors. But most Loons, it is safe to say, are succumbing to a phenomenon that always tends to strike following a Cornhusker loss. I am speaking, of course, about the "Yeahwell Reflex."
You see, part of what makes us Red Clad Loons such strong survivors is this unique, numerically-based defense mechanism that is designed to keep predators at bay. It goes something like this: "So your team beat the Huskers! Yeah, well, Nebraska still has 250 consecutive sellouts, 40 consecutive winning seasons, and 33 nine-win seasons in a row. They're third nationally with 767 total wins, have won 34 conference titles outright, and have won 56 of their last 57 games at home. By the way, NU leads the nation with 14 Top Eight awards, has a 90 percent graduation rate among players, and ..."
You get the idea. This numbing number chatter eventually causes opponents' smack-talking fans to become very disoriented due to shaking their heads back and forth during the diatribe. This, in turn, allows the Loon time to escape out the back door of the sports bar.
In fact, there is probably no other program in the nation where numbers mean so much to the masses. We Cornhuskers, we find strength in numbers. If Notre Dame is the program of iconography and mythos, then Nebraska is the program of cold, hard arithmetic. So, with that in mind, I thought I'd try my hand at pulling out some significant numbers that have seemed to emerge around the Husker program as of late.
the number of spectators to watch NU-ISU, which was a record crowd for Jack Trice Stadium
the number of spectators at Jack Trice midway through the fourth quarter, after the Nebraska fans headed for the nearest bar
the number of people pulling for Iowa State at Jack Trice had Brent Musburger not been there
times that Seneca Wallace was compared to other great athletes by the ABC broadcast team, to wit: Barry Bonds, Michael Vick, Antwaan Randle-El
time that Gary Danielson called Seneca Wallace "Troy Davis"
times that Nebraska fans called Seneca Wallace a bad name
times that Nebraska fans called Craig Bohl a bad name two seconds later
times that Nebraska fans called Frank Solich a bad name two seconds after that
time left in the first quarter before Eric Crouch was mentioned by the broadcast crew
the total amount of on-field minutes in Eric Crouch's NFL career, not mentioned by the broadcast crew
offensive plays in the first half run by the Huskers
plays that didn't look like they were being executed by the cast of "Little Women"
time left in the second quarter when Brent Musburger began calling for Mike Stuntz to relieve Jammal Lord
time left in the first quarter when Husker fans began calling for Curt Dukes to relieve Jammal Lord
the number of wide receivers who caught a pass thrown by Mike Grant in a clutch situation during his time at Nebraska
number of receiving yards Saturday by ISU's prolific wideout, Lane Danielsen, who is now coached by Mike Grant
The school-record number of career pancakes attributed to offensive lineman Toniu Fonoti, according to the 2002 Nebraska Football Media Guide
The school-record number of career pancakes attributed to offensive lineman Dan Vili Waldrop, according to the manager of the Village Inn on North 27th Street
time left in the third quarter when ISU's Tony Yelk attempted his first punt
time left in the third quarter when DeJuan Groce fielded Yelk's punt
time left in the third quarter when Groce was brought down, effectively ending any chance for NU to score on that drive
fingers raised into the air by T.J. Hollowell after the Blackshirts finally forced their first three-and-out
the number of points that NU was behind by at the time
the hitting average for Ross Pilkington during his two-year minor league baseball career in Arizona and Wyoming
the hitting average for Richie Incognito during his four-second boxing career in Pennsylvania
letters to various Nebraska newspapers from Cornhusker fans the week of Sept. 16, proclaiming Penn State fans as the rudest they've ever seen, by far, ever
letters to various Nebraska newspapers from Cornhusker fans the week of Sept. 30, proclaiming Iowa State fans the rudest they've ever seen, absolutely, by far, ever
letters expected to arrive at various Nebraska newspapers from Cornhusker fans the week of Oct. 21, proclaiming Oklahoma State fans as the rudest they've ever seen, absolutely, by far, ever, dammit
days that Thunder Collins had been suspended by the time Saturday's game rolled around
the likely scoreline had Thunder Collins been able to play Saturday
members of the Iowa State student section who wore T-shirts depicting a demonic-looking Calvin from "Calvin & Hobbes" urinating on a Nebraska football helmet
the year that an emblem depicting a demonic-looking Calvin from "Calvin & Hobbes" urinating on something someone doesn't like had officially become trite
Winging it, Vol. 8
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