ACC Sports Journal Taking it Easy on the Tarheels?

Brewster's Weekly "Wolfpacker's Perspective" centers on the Sports Journal's recent article on UNC's football recruiting class being hit by academic troubles.

I'M GENERALLY A PRETTY EASY going guy. I like sunsets and bunnies and ponies and rainbows. But every so often something stumbles across my computer screen that makes me feel less than rosy about my fellow man. A recent ACC Sports Journal article was one such thing; it chronicled the poor state that UNC's football program is in due to the fact that four of their recruits did not make the necessary grades to qualify for the upcoming football season. I could care less that some tool writes an article about the obvious (that UNC's football program is in the crapper), but what I DO have a problem with, is that said tool decided to take some cheap shots at N.C. State in doing so.

What I'm going to do is lay out some of the "facts" of this article and go through them bit by bit. These are not taken out of context nor are they exaggerated for my own diabolical purposes. By the way, I do not feel that I'm in breach of any unwritten rule where journalists don't attack other journalists because: 1) I'm not a journalist (which I'll touch on in a bit) and 2) Neither is the idiot who wrote this steaming load of crap (which I'll touch on now). Lets get started with the first bit of the article that I want to cover:

"At least four Class of 2003 signees failed to qualify academically, and at least one still had work to do this summer to become eligible this fall. Historically speaking, that kind of thing just doesn't happen at UNC. Losing four or more signees from a single class is standard procedure at many schools in the academically disinterested SEC, and it has happened on more than one occasion in the ACC at Clemson, FSU and (in recent years (NC State). UNC coaches knew from the start that the rival Wolfpack adopted and FSU-like approach to academics under Chuck Amato, to a long-time assistant with the Seminoles, but even they were surprised to read a quote from an NCSU administrator that the pack was entering unchartered waters."

Okay first of all, I have no idea what the sam-hell that last run-on sentence is supposed to mean, but it proves my point that whoever typed it is a moron. Can someone please explain to me what "and FSU-like approach" is or what the phrase "…under Chuck Amato, to a long-time assistant with the Seminoles" means? Its one thing to be a self-inflated, arrogant, tool, but the least you can do is be a coherent, self-inflated, arrogant tool. But I'll bet this guy smells real nice, heck-journalists usually do (it's the Drakkar Noir, Sally Jenkins practically bathes in the stuff).

Another thing this article implies is the tiresome and unfounded notion that N.C. State head football coach Chuck Amato is guilty of under-handed recruiting tactics. Coach Amato gets a grossly unfair rap for how and who he recruits and it's gotten really old. Amato recruits the best of the best (just like every other university- including UNC - does) with every intention of making these kids into better men than athletes. That's a noble goal and one that shouldn't be taken lightly. UNC coach John Bunting has the same intention, I'm sure. But did you know that Coach Bunting has committed numerous NCAA infractions that the local press deemed irrelevant to report on and considered them mere internet fodder? Yet Coach Amato's reputation continues to get raked over the coals despite doing nothing wrong (and as for underhanded recruiting, used car salesman/politician ex-UNC coach Mack Brown was the king of kings, just fyi).

And as for the UNC mantra that N.C. State must be cheating if we're flourishing and they're floundering, is ridiculous on its face. Salma Hayek doesn't need plastic surgery to look better than Carnie Wilson. Carolina fans (and ACC Sports Journalists) just need to face it, get over it and move on. Anyway, back to the Sports Journal article…

"UNC's unprecedented attrition rate should not automatically be taken as proof that the Tar Heels have joined the Seminoles and Wolfpack at the bottom of the league's academic barrel, although it's certainly a step in that direction."

This one...this one takes the cake. N.C. State produces architects, engineers and food science specialists. UNC produces journalists, trial attorneys and theater majors. Fact: people have to eat and need buildings to survive. Fact: people don't have to read the babblings of self-important, pseudo-journalists nor do they need more ambulance chasers to exist (hence the steady decline of newspaper subscriptions and the steady rise of lawyer jokes).

As for the academic merits of a university, if the best you can boast are Dan Cortese and Rick Dees, keep your big yap shut. By the way, who would you rather have on your side in an academic decathlon, an engineer or an actor? I'll answer this for you since I know more actors than you do, there is no dumber breed of animal than an actor (except for maybe ACC Sports Journalist). Don't believe me? Tara Reid is an actor. Bill Gates is not.

Here are some other things for UNC grandstanders to contemplate when comparing the mental prowess of UNC students and alumni to the rest of the world. I don't think I've ever seen a picture with one of our star defensive ends stoned out of his gourd, flipping off the camera. I don't think I've ever seen a picture of some of our student body's best and brightest fraternity brothers dipping their testicles into the mouth of an unsuspecting, passed-out Duke football player (this, in my opinion, single-handedly defines what UNC is all about as a campus and an institution. I'm not sure this constitutes sexual assault, but it sure does constitute a case for mouth wash and sobriety).

I also can't think of an instance where Dean Smith has had to bail out our players/assistant coaches from legal troubles (whereupon the charges remarkably disappeared). If I ever got a DUI, I would take Dean Smith in a heartbeat over some top gun defense attorney. With Dean defending you, things are taken care of in such a smooth way, your conscience won't even know you were busted. If only Damon Thornton would have had ol' Dean to come to his aide, imagine how different his life would have been. And to top it off, we don't have Mensa candidate Jeb Terry representing our university at any press functions (that alone makes everyone smarter than UNC). Those are just a few things to kick around during the day. One last thing I want to touch upon in the article is this quote:

"This is not business as usual for Carolina, which always has been sensitive about its academic reputation. Generally speaking, the Tar Heels have avoided what they obviously perceive as a potential image hit by only rarely having multiple non-qualifiers."

What-ever. Keep in mind that this is the ACC Sports Journal, not or some other pro-Carolina publication. This is supposed to be subjective- ahem- journalism. It's this kind of unsubstantiated arrogance that makes the world clap when Carolina loses and its football team gets smacked in the mouth every Saturday. Like 99.9% of you, I don't have a subscription to the Sports Journal either, but I would advise the eighteen people out there who do to think twice about renewing them.

A FEW OTHER TIDBITS. In Caulton Tudor's column the other day he wrote that ECU would fit well in the Big East. Yeah, sure, great, whatever. What struck me was that he wrote that he had received around 400 e-mails saying that either ECU or USC should become the twelfth member of the ACC. Okay, that means he received 398 e-mails from delusional ECU fans, one e-mail from Lou Holtz and one e-mail from a guy named Ncsu97. Anyone who knows anything about college athletics knows that ECU doesn't belong in the ACC, now Notre Dame on the other hand…

SPEAKING OF NOTRE DAME, Matt Hayes of the Sporting News recently wrote that Notre Dame and the BCS are going to come toe-to-toe to see who blinks first, wondering aloud who needs who more. Okay that's a no-brainer. College football can not only survive, but thrive, without Notre Dame. If you have any doubt about this, just repeat these three words over and over again: Bob-Davie-era.

Stay safe and stay tuned…

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