The Strutting Wolf Offers Tarheel Football Fans to Have a "Blue Christmas" This Holiday Season!
Attention, sports fans! Just in time for Christmas, TSW is offering the perfect gift to buy if you're a tarheel football fan, or even if there's a tarheel football fan on your Christmas list (OK, if there's a tarheel football fan to be found) -- the gift of "Blue Christmas," a huge compilation of all your favorite tarheel football carols!
Thanks to "Blue Christmas," now even tarheel football fans can enjoy this upcoming holiday season, as they sit at home! Just turn off the TV, pop in this two-disc set, sit back and listen to the sound of timeless tarheel classics! You'll have visions of football cakes and wood chips dancing in your head in no time.
How much would you pay to remember tarheel football 2002? Don't answer that bell just yet, because there's more! Act now and get a beautiful pine mulch slice ABSOLUTELY FREE! Put in on your shoulder and be the best Bunting on your block! Paint the midfield logo on it and guard it with your life! Or stick a hook in it, call it "Woody," and hang it from your Christmas tree! It's yours to do with as you wish. (Caution: Chips not to be taken internally.) To remind you of sun-splashed Kenan Stadium, your chip will come exquisitely wrapped in red-tinged aluminum foil!
*** Bonus offer! *** The first three fans to place orders will also receive a coupon for a FREE CAKE from any participating Wal-Mart store. Order now and you too can smell what John is cooking!
So that's two discs, the authentic pine mulch chip, AND the free cake! Now how much would you pay? ... Ahem, now how much would you pay? OK, hypothetically. Two dollars? Three? Four and a half? (Wait, don't leave!) No! All this can be yours for just $1.95! And for an additional four cents, we'll throw in our entire collection of Coach Bunting's motivational speeches, too, including "Darius, I Swear to God, If You Fumble One More Time ..."; "Damn, I'm Hungry -- You Hungry Too?"; "Whoah! Would You Look at the Bejoombles Rameses Is Dragging Around?"; and "It's Just a Sweat Stain, And I'll Thank You Not to Stare!"
So that's the genuine mulch chip, the cake coupon, the motivational speech collection, AND the two-disc set of tarheel football carols -- all for $1.99! What's more, the songs on these discs are guaranteed to become family favorites for years and years and years to come! You'll grow to cherish this special time of year, as you sit home for the holidays every year, when you hear:
1. All I Want for Christmas Is My A.J. Back
2. Cakeless Time Is Here
3. Away Games We're Stronger
4. Blue Blitzed Us
5. Bring a Touchdown, Durant, C.J. Stephens
6. Carom of the Balls
7. Bells Will Be Unanswered
8. The Coveting Carol
9. Ding DongsTM Merrily I Buy
10. Do They Know It's Football Season? (The Home-Game Song)
11. The First of Many L's
12. Terry the Cakeman
13. Good Coach What's-His-Name
14. Grand Maul! Got Run Over by a Pack, Dear
15. Harsh! The Fickle Tarheels Whine
16. Here Comes Tubba Lard
17. Here We Come A-Lo-o-osing
18. Home for the Holidays
19. I Saw Three Wins
20. We'll Be Home for Christmas (You Can Count on That)
21. We're Gettin' Nuttin' for Christmas
22. It's the Most Horrible Time of the Year
23. Fumble Balls
24. Joy to the Pack
25. Puh-leaze Taco Bell
26. Watch Us Blow! Watch Us Blow! Watch Us Blow!
27. Shoulder-Chips Rock
28. Oh, Holy $%#&!
29. Buyout Clause Is Coming to Term
30. That Cakeless Feeling
1. Rocking Around the Mid-Field Logo
2. Rudolph the Red-Faced 'Heel Fan
3. See Amato's Winner's Glow
4. Silent Stands
5. See We Mo' L's
6. The Twelve Excuses of Christmas
7. We Three Fans at Kenan Were
8. We Wish We Weren't Sucking This Much
9. Down in the Basement
10. What Coach Is This?
11. Fruit's Cake
12. Fum, Fum, Fumble
13. Pad a Stat
14. (Pro)tec' the Logo
15. Wail, Wail
16. Still, Still, Still Losing
17. Little Fumble Boy
18. Lo How a Pass E'er Dropping
19. The Chip-Monger Song
20. Hallelujah! (The Duke Game Chorus)
21. When a Cake Is Gone
22. Hold? Dang! Time! (The New Year, Same As the Old Year Song)
23. Sweet Baby Jesus! Boy!
24. O Little Team of Chapel Hill
25. "Cake's Gone" Boasting, What an Open Flame
26. I Heard the Bells After the Play
27. It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Torbush
28. It Came Upon a Cakeless Year
29. O Come On, Heel Faithful
30. This Season Sure Did Grow Old
31. The Cakeless Schmaltz
Remember, act fast* and get all those tarheel extras! And may this holiday season not just be a time spent at home, but also a time spent enjoying one tarheel football carol after another. What else are you going to do? It's sure to be a "Blue Christmas" this year, so you might as well enjoy it!
* The sooner you place your order, the sooner we'll be able to dump all that other tarheel crap nobody wanted!