Coney Island Mermaid Pilsner
Stuffing dozens of hot dogs in your mouth would not make our Forefathers proud. Stuffing dozens of hot dogs in your mouth without puking, however, totally would. Assuming you didn't qualify for Friday's annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island, you can still mark the contest's patriotic classiness with this tasty, crisp soldier from the same shady section of Brooklyn.
Dale's Pale Ale Stovepipe
Bigger is better in the USA, and this brew packs huge flavor and comes in a giant can. It's perfect for anything with BBQ sauce, and spicy dry rub. It's also named after a guy named Dale. Is there any more American name than Dale? Dale's your buddy, he'll help you move, and totally lie to your girlfriend for you. Also, Dale's Pale is brewed by a bunch of wild, mountain-biking maniacs in weed-is-sort-of-legal Colorado—living proof freedom is worth fighting for.
Budweiser Patriot Can
Yes, a German conglomerate now owns the King Of Beers, but this has an American flag on the can, man. Plus, we invented international corporate mergers. So, we still own the rights to Bud's soul. But, this all-day drinker actually helps Americans: A portion of the sales of this limited edition goes to help our veterans. Don't cry, no tears in your beer. Just buy more and support our troops.