I have always wondered what it might be like to write a stream of consciousness article. So, here it goes. The OSU - KSU 2004 Fiesta Bowl.
Unbelievable. Roberson is starting? Snyder must have gotten some tips from the Tom Osborne/Barry Switzer School of coaching in the Big 12. The announcers are blathering on about how ‘fans should want Roberson to play.' Baloney. The kid let his team and his university down less than 40 hours before the biggest game in the program's history, broke curfew, and may have sexually assaulted a woman? What a joke. The announcers need to buy a clue, and Snyder has just shown what he really values. I wonder if he would start Roberson if it were his daughter making the allegations?…Ohio State's defense looks great early, nothing like the Michigan fiasco…Kansas State's punter nails a kick. That has to be one of the best I have seen this bowl season…Nice Run by Lydell Ross. If he runs like that all night, Ohio State will cruise to a win. Don't look for that to happen…A first down pass call. That should make some fans happy. Of course, the fact that it was an incompletion and set up OSU for a 2nd and 10 and then 3rd and 10 shows why the Ohio State coaching staff preferred a run on first down this year…Wow. What an awful throw by Craig Krenzel. Michael Jenkins was open for a touchdown with a decent throw. With even a mediocre throw Jenkins gets a first down easily. Instead, Ohio State turns over the football…A.J. Hawk, also known as "Screen killer." If I had a dollar for every time he has killed a screen in practice or during a game, I would be rich enough to be writing this piece from my own island in the Bahamas. The last open practice before the Fiesta Bowl in Columbus, the offense was trying to run a screen. Any guesses as to what happened? Yup. Hawk ate it up…Game clock/timekeeper issues? Millions of dollars on a scoreboard and it is hard to keep track of the time?…Wait a moment. I must have lost consciousness. What time is it? How long have I been out? Everything started spinning after Ohio State called that successful screen play…3rd and 2 and OSU is calling a pass play. Jenkins is missed by Krenzel again…KSU football and the Buckeye defense is hemming in Sproles. A back like Sproles is best in space but is not going to get anything if the linebackers play him correctly…The announcers are bleeding hearts for Roberson once again. As a fan of the sport, Roberson should have sat. Snyder sent the exact wrong message by not only playing him but actually starting him like nothing had happened. No curfew violation. No team rules violation. No alleged sexual assault…3 and out once again. Ohio State's formula is going according to plan early. They will want to force Roberson to beat them ‘left handed' by passing the football. The more passes he throws, the better the news for OSU and the worse for KSU…Touchdown Ohio State on a blocked kick. John Hollins (not Marcel Frost) scores by grabbing the ball and then making a fairly tough run. Special teams, special teams, special teams. They cost Michigan a shot at a national title this year and might cost KSU big in this game…Citibank identity theft commercials. If all commercials were this good, Tivo would never have been invented. My favorite is the elderly lady laughing. Her face cracks me up every time. ‘Momma cita!'…Roberson and Sproles have nowhere to go. The KSU offensive line better open some holes or they won't score too many points…Great job by #93 Kansas State to blow up a reverse. Had he not forced Holmes wide that is likely a TD. Unreal. A reverse and a screen play in the same quarter. Take me now Lord, life is complete. Note to self, say evening prayers and make sure all is well with the Almighty. I believe this to be the proverbial seventh sign…Huge play. Again, Craig Krenzel had a wide-open receiver and just flat out missed him. Holmes was wide open…Bam Childress finally catches a ball in space. No surprise, he has a nice run after the catch…Sugar Bowl the most talked about BCS Bowl in history? Huh? Maybe, but only because it is a joke. USC showed itself to be the legitimate #1 by dismantling Michigan. Score one for the human polls…Touchdown by Krenzel to Holmes. This time it was a perfect pass…KSU needs to do something and fast. This one looks like it could get out of hand…Kansas State is nearly caught napping with the pooch kick. Tressel is showing a great deal of respect for Sproles to risk a big return by one of the up men…Ohio State dodges a bullet. Nate Salley and Will Allen almost gave up an 81 yard touchdown…Telling stat on field position. OSU is winning the war. What announcers and fans often do not see is that Tressel plays chess with field position and uses it to beat teams routinely…Great news. Ohio State is planning a new heart hospital. I am quite certain that will come in handy with the number of close football games the Buckeyes are likely to play over the next few years. Perhaps this was done in response to an outcry by the OSU alums? After all, the hospital complex is right down from the stadium…
Ohio State goes for the jugular. A pass play to Jenkins. Once again, Krenzel misses his mark. That is 14 points early. At worst, OSU should have had 3 points on this drive…A nice story on Cedric Williams. To give up football to care for his mother is what it is all about…Sproles' first decent carry of the evening. However, 7 attempts for only 13 yards is why defense wins championships…A possible interception to Gamble. Announcers commenting, "I didn't see that." Neither did viewers at home thanks to no replay by ABC…Ok, how many truck ads is this now?…Krenzel is looking very nice when he is rolling out of the pocket. How much time is this maligned offensive line giving him? Kansas State has managed next to no pass rush against Ohio State thus far…Unbelievably stupid play by Shane Olivea. He cost Ohio State a first down by retaliating after Krenzel was hit late…Ok, that is how you get revenge. You give Krenzel the ball and let him shove it down the throats of the defensive line for a first down…Roberson whining continues by announcers. Newsflash - Roberson did this to himself and Snyder is the one putting Kansas State through this mess. Had he done what Holtz did years ago and what Mason did just last week, he would have sat Roberson and used it to rally the team AND maintained his integrity…Ok, that settles it. I am going to be watching Ford Trucks in my sleep tonight. How many truck ads have they shown? Do companies in Detroit still make cars? You know, the things with four doors that sit low to the ground…OSU is going to miss Jenkins. The guy is just clutch. Great Tostitos commercial. I once played checkers on the floor of an elevator in Canada. For those who have never tried it, I do not recommend jumping in between floors in elevators. It can knock them off of their tracks and cause them to free-fall for a good distance before the brakes kick in. Trust me on this one…Gamble finally comes up with a huge play. Ohio State's offense needs to score…Ohio State touchdown. The Kansas State defensive backs cannot cover Ohio State's wide receivers. Without the two poorly thrown passes, the Buckeyes might be up 35-0. This play was set up by OSU running on first downs by a 6:3 ratio thus far. KSU expected a ‘boring' rush and Ohio State suckered them into biting…Another truck ad. Give me strength…Great graphic on Ohio State and churning out NFL receivers. And recruits are worried the Buckeyes don't throw it enough? Please. Carter will get an NFL shot when his knee heals and Jenkins will have a nice paycheck waiting for him after this game is over…Dana Carvey looks entirely too natural in drag for my tastes…Nice run by Roberson. Without the tackle by the last line of defense, he might have scored…A great push by the defensive line of Kansas State on second and 5. They just shoved Ohio State's defensive line and linebackers out of the way like Bill Clinton might at a McDonald's buffet…Houdini. That is what Roberson is at times. He is not Michael Vick, but he has serious tools. How in the world did he escape the Ohio State defenders?…3rd and 19 and Kansas State converts the down for a 31 yard pass play? Are you kidding? How in the world did they get someone that wide open that far down the field?…Touchdown Sproles on an option play. What a dangerous runner. He will undoubtedly be a favorite for the Heisman in 2004. He has fabulous balance…Ok, the excuses for Kansas State's offense are getting old. Perhaps part of the problem is that Ohio State's defensive line is almost NFL caliber? Nah, that could not be it. That would make too much sense and kill the storyline the talking heads have opted to promote…Another booming punt by the KSU kicker. 58 yards…OSU should just run out the clock and get to halftime with a 21-7 lead…Tressel is smart enough to agree with me. He runs out the clock.
New Orleans is the backdrop. If you haven't been there, you really should go. Don't waste your time on Bourbon Street getting wasted. New Orleans is a great city for fine dining and has great sights to see…Ok, that has to be one of the best ESPN ads ever. Are there any doubts that Ohio State-Michigan is the greatest college football rivalry?…A nice piece on Michael Thompson. Another athlete who knows what he has and is apparently humble. Two in one night? I need to mark this down on the calendar…9 carries, 26 yards, 1 touchdown for Sproles. Kansas State must do better in the second half or they lose.
Ohio State gets the ball first. If they will drive and put points on the board, they could put this one almost (not quite) out of reach…Bad news for Ohio State - Ross appears to be hurt again…Looks like the refs missed a call. Krenzel pretty clearly threw that ball into the ground. The only possible explanation I can think of for no grounding is that he was hit as he was releasing the ball. Maybe it did not go where he intended…Simon Fraser was just posterized by #66 of Kansas State. What a hit. Somebody needs to ask him what time it is because he just got knocked into last week…Pet peeve #243, defensive backs should play the football. Nate Salley never even bothered to look for the ball. The interference was a good call. It might be costly because that is an automatic first down on 3rd and long…‘go for it coach!' Don't you just love how the announcers play with other peoples' poker chips?…Keith Jackson, the voice of college football. Unfortunately, he did not seem to be watching the same game I was the other day. Jackson needs to retire and Fouts needs to find another line of work…Sproles and Roberson showing why they gained 8 bazillion yards. Scott had Roberson sacked and Sproles should have gained at most 2 yards. Instead, both had nice gainers…Finally, a solid pass by Roberson. The Ohio State defensive line is not getting the same push…Touchdown Kansas State. The score is now 21-14. How costly are those two blown TDs opportunities now?…Again, how much will Ohio State miss Jenkins? He just makes play after play for this team…Announcers now are blathering on about their new favorite word, ‘Momentum.'. What really is momentum? Is it some nebulous force that anoints one team or the other a victory? Teams with heart don't need momentum because they will win no matter what the odds. Teams with no heart have to have that feeling of momentum or they lie down and lose…Jenkins, 37 yard pass completion. The Buckeyes need to score a touchdown on 1st and goal. No settling for 3…It's officially the Michael Jenkins NFL tryout show. Krenzel takes a wicked blow to deliver the football. Give him credit. He is now at .500. Two throws that cost OSU TDs and two throws that were perfect and resulted in TDs…Take a good look at beer ads. They won't be seen on Ohio State broadcasts at all before too long…Hmmm. Fans wonder what is going on with the Ohio State passing game? Why is it not better? It turns out that the ‘Holy Buckeye' play against Purdue sets up like this: 4th and 1, the season is on the line, the national title could be lost, and Hartsock did not realize it was 4th down and Gamble/Jenkins both run incorrect routes…Ohio State's strategy is working. They are still forcing Roberson to throw. The guy is phenomenal as a runner but ordinary as a passer…KSU punter Brite is having a bright game. Sorry, couldn't resist…Sierra Mist monkey ad is pretty clever. I seem to remember something like this several years ago during a super bowl…Excuse 4,571 for Ell Roberson by the announcers. This is really old now. They play that harp so well they should be in the symphony orchestra. Again, whose fault is all of this? Roberson dug his own grave, so you won't catch me feeling sorry for a kid that broke curfew, let down his team (and fans and coaches), and is accused of sexual assault…A healthy Brandon Joe looks pretty impressive. Who knows what might have been for Ohio State had he not torn his pectoral muscle right before the season…Holmes touchdown. Give Ohio State and Tressel credit. They have gone for the jugular repeatedly tonight. Give Holmes credit for an NFL caliber reception. The Buckeyes will be fortunate if this kid is not gone after his RS sophomore season at this pace…Florida speed. Apparently that Florida speed did not help Miami all that much in last year's Fiesta Bowl.
Announcers have a fixation with the no huddle offense. For crying out loud, stop having a kitten! There is a full quarter to play and Kansas State can get this within 14 points if they take their time and score a touchdown here…Roberson is 9 of 30. Keep an eye on this. In the law of diminishing returns, those offenses that normally favor rushing (like Kansas State) generally lose the game if the quarterback is forced to throw it 35+ times in a football game…Whoa Nellie! #36, Saba, for Kansas State is a beast. Apparently, he does not miss many meals. No way is he just 245. If he is 245, then I will watch ‘From Justin to Kelly' until my eyes and ears begin to spontaneously bleed…A horrible kickoff. Ohio State has a good chance to do something with this drive and put the game officially on ice…Ouch. A world-class stooopid penalty. Yes, Krenzel was clearly hit late and the penalty should have been called to give Ohio State an automatic first down. However, to retaliate is just not something you do. The second guy always gets caught…"The things you remember most aren't things." What an advertisement for a credit card. Where do you start with this one? The whole irony is that their message is incongruent with what makes them money. They want the consumer to value their life on things so that America continues as a debt run economy/society…KSU plenty of time with 10:41 left. Announcers need to find a new line of work…What a cannon. When Roberson is on target, defensive backs can forget about getting to the football…What a dumb penalty. Sometimes I just wonder. I really do. How can you do stuff like this? Do they just lose their brain for a few seconds? This could cost them. Now KSU is not in close for a chip shot field goal…I am a prophet. KSU misses the field goal. Now if only my wife viewed my comments as pearls of wisdom and hung on every word. Still working on that…Ohio State is going to try and run out the clock now. We will see if it ends up costing them…Near disaster for KSU. If that football had bounced another direction, Ohio State recovers the fumble by Sproles…Finally, a car advertisement…5:43 left in the game and Ohio State is dominating the rushing yards 143 to 83. Say it with me now; defense wins championships…15 games for Kansas State this year. That is just unreal. At what point will the school presidents step in and demand that these young men be allowed to go to school? Either put a cap on games with only 12 (including a conference title game) OR stop the charade and admit that the university is simply seeking to make money with these young men…Roberson has a bazooka, but the kid has little touch or accuracy…Roberson is getting all day to throw now…Great timeout by Ohio State…Pete Rose getting interviewed again? There is a shocker. He and Michael Jackson need to get together and trade tips on how to mess up your life by talking too much. Rose probably would already be in the HOF if he would keep his yap shut…KSU converting huge 3rd and long and 4th and long plays. What is it about the Ohio State defense that has been allowing this all year?…1st and goal. Snyder needs to pass this one in for the TD if possible or just QB sneak it/roll Roberson outside…Apparently Snyder did not see the 2003 Fiesta Bowl. He is not going to go up the middle for this touchdown. That kind of play calling cost Miami a shot to repeat as national champs…Roberson has his neck ‘adjusted' by apparent chiropractor in training Robert Reynolds. That is interesting. Roberson honestly could have peeked out his helmet ear hole…Touchdown Kansas State. Now the game gets tight. Ohio State can run the clock down to about 1:50…Onsides kick. What an incredibly costly penalty. Offsides and Kansas State had apparently recovered the football. That could be the play of the game in terms of significance if Ohio State runs out the clock…Bobby Carpenter gets a Buckeye leaf. Great job to charge the football and recover onsides kick…Hamby AGAIN jumps before the snap. However, that actually helps OSU. The Buckeyes are able to milk another 24 seconds off of the clock…Ross runs out of bounds. What in the world was he thinking? I wonder how many times the coaches have told him NOT to run out of bounds in this situation…B.J. Sander deserved the Ray Guy award. 2 punts, 2 downed at the 10 yard line or lower…Ohio State in prevent defense. Look out now. Kansas State has a real shot at driving the field if this continues…ACC misses the clock problem and now they miss what looks to be a fumble by Roberson. Fraser actually hits him and knocks the ball free as his arm as getting ready to go forward. The ball is loose…Fresh legs on Ohio State defensive line with Patterson and Pitcock in there. It makes a difference…Kansas State should never have called a screen in the middle of the field. Tick, tick, tick…One play left - a ‘Hail Mary' on 4th and long…Longest Fiesta Bowl. Who woulda thunk it? Two rushing teams…Ohio State defensive backs knock down the ball. Buckeyes win.
Happiest man in all of Columbus is Lydell Ross. Twice he ran out of bounds as OSU was trying to milk the clock. If the Buckeyes had lost, he would have been a goat of epic proportions…Final excuses for Roberson. What a joke. That horse is so dead that it is rotting. Roberson cooked his own goose…4 touchdowns passing? What was this about Ohio State not being a passing team?…Class comments by A.J. Hawk. Humility. What a concept for a star athlete. Someone needs to send Soldier Boy, A.K.A. Kellen Winslow, Jr. at "this U" a tape of this moment…Note to self, stream of consciousness articles take forever to type. Note to readers - if you actually read all of this, then you should be well on your way to spending your golden years with a seeing-eye dog. Tell Rover I said hello and pat him on the head.