Don't get no 'funner'

Whether you hate 'em, like 'em or are ambivalent about the LSU Tigers, the invasion from Baton Rouge that will hit the Ole Miss campus Saturday afternoon will be a fun spectacle and will produce a heated, last-man-standing SEC football game that very easily could end up a classic.

The Pimp Nation. . . .

The Golden Girls. . .

Alligator/turtle (and whatever else they can kill and throw in the pot on the way) stew. . .

The 1985 Chevy station wagon packed with scruffy rug rats. . .

"Hold That Tiger". . . .

It's all on the way, and some.

Oxford residents beware: hide your lawn furniture. They'll be looking for some chairs to take to the Grove on their way into town.

And lock your gas tanks on your vehicles. They all have siphon hoses and 5-gallon cans in their cars for the return trip to the swamp.

Good thing there aren't many sheep in Lafayette County.

Talk about a clash of cultures.

Boudreaux and Momma meet Chip and Buffy.

Sterling silver versus Dixie cups.

Cutoff jeans and t-shirts go head on with Prada and Coach.

Chanel No. 5 countered by corndogs.

Shaven, say hello to never met a razor.

Starched and pressed clashes with straight from the hamper.

Modern dentistry takes on pliers.

Go! against Geaux!.

Of course, the prim and proper label LSU fans pin on Rebels is no more accurate than the swamp rat image Rebels have of Tigers, but the whole football matchup and pregame hype between the two schools has grown, so why not the exaggerations?

Rebels love to rag on Clarence and Tigers love to rag on Lawrence J. Holden, IV, Esq.

It's just the way it is. Why not have fun with it?

For sure, the football game itself is going to be as much fun as the law allows, with some behavior sure to be just in the bounds of legal. Many Rebels and Tigers will walk the thin line between having just another drink and a two-day tour of the county jail.

At $800 a pop, the over-under for the DUI take alone is the mayor's annual salary. I say over.

But I digress as I sink lower and lower into the pool of hyperbole.

The gathering will be for the annual Ole Miss-LSU football game and it promises to be an edge-of-the-seater.

The 8-2 Tigers, with their only losses coming to No. 1 Florida and No. 3 Alabama, both undefeated, will, once again, rely on a stingy defense allowing only 13.7 points per game to carry their banner. DT Al Woods, MLB Kelvin Sheppard and FS Chad Jones make them as strong up the middle as anyone this side of the lethal trio of Cody-McClain-Woodall at Bama. And RCB Patrick Peterson is said to be one of the best man corners on the planet, even though he's just a sophomore.

On offense, the Tigers have plenty of talent and a QB - Jordan Jefferson - who seemed to be coming into his own until an ankle injury derailed him recently. Look for him at the helm in this important outing. Be surprised if he's not, despite their pregame posturing that he's a maybe or not as mobile as before. Their wideouts are as good a group as there is and even though TB Charles Scott is out with a broken collarbone, Keiland Williams, who the Rebs coveted badly during his recruitment, is no slouch.

Add to the mix PR/KOR Trindon Holliday - think Dexter in the return game - to their arsenal and the total package is formidable, competitive athletically with any team in college football.

The Rebels will have to counter with an effort similar to the one they just put up against the Vols, if not better.

Hopefully, the momentum and confidence they gained against UT will carry over in their favor.

Once again, establishing a run game and stopping the LSU ground attack with the Rebs' version of a darn stout defense will be critical. After all, it's SEC football and in this league it all starts up front and with the infantry.

As they did against UT, the Rebs will have to play a clean game and keep mistakes of any variety to a minimum. The same holds true for the Tigers.

It should be a great game and could, very easily, be a classic.

Neither team will be battling for an SEC championship, but the Magnolia Bowl trophy that signifies the winner of this yearly skirmish, make no mistake, is important to both schools.

And let us not forget the Rebs and Tigers will both be jockeying for better bowls and bowl positioning.

Yep, the Tigers are headed this way in all shapes and forms.

They have survived Katrina, and questionable hygiene, but they may not survive the Rebels.

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