Thanks to another sub-par week of picks on my part, my overall percentage has dropped to 74% and, based on my current mental state, it could get even worse. But making a fool of myself has never stopped me before.
So, with as much gray matter and reverence to “true” point spread analysts like Stokecat from Beaver Sports Central as I can muster, I present to you my Week #7 Predictions…
Saturday, October 11th
The Beavs and Cougs are tied for first in the Pac-10 and have the week off to prepare for the Fuskies and The Tree respectively. Something tells me that Wazzugly might spend a bit of time working on how they’ll contain Mr. Jackson on October 25th as well.
UCLA @ Arizona – The Ruins EXPLODED for a boatload of points against the mistake prone Fuskies last week, turning a competitive game into an absolute laugher. It would seem that FUCLA is starting to grasp the new system under Coach Good Dog Karl and should carry the momentum forward when they visit Tuckandrun for a duel with the paroled Mildcats. The kitties did what I thought they would last week against Wazzugly…play tough and fold in the end. Expect more of the same this week. I would also NOT expect the kind of implosion from the Mildcats that we witnessed from the pups. The Ruins will just outlast them on talent. UCLA 28 – UA 13.
Oregon @ ASU – The twin Hindenburgs go head to head in Stimpy as ABC, in their infinite wisdom, chooses to showcase these two epic flameouts. It’s absolute desperation time for the Scum Devils and Banana Republic…the greater loser will spend the rest of the season in a death spiral while the winner gets at least a one-week reprieve. So who’s gonna survive? I’ll go with the home team. The Dirt Devil’s defense is better than the Toilet Seats and, for the third week in a row, the no-talent Smurf DB’s in the Zero secondary will get eaten alive. QB Falter will FINALLY wake up the passing game and Coach Sod Cutter will get his first Pac-10 win of ’03. ASU 35 – UO 24.
I love this shot…
Stanford @ USC – The Tree travels down I-5 to visit the Toejams at the Mausoleum after ANOTHER week off. Unfortunately, it will be their last for the rest of the year because they’ll need one after Condom State gets through with ‘em. U$C got right against ASU and nicely shook off the hairball they gacked in Sssssssstrawberry Canyon the week before. This should be a good old-fashioned trip to the woodshed as I expect the Toejams to beat them senseless. USC 49 – Stanford 10.
Nevada @ Washington – Boy, howdy…the SeaTac press has really been ripping the Fuskies this week after their debacle in Westworld and, believe me, it’s well deserved. But even more embarrassing than their play on the field was their behavior on the sidelines in the waning moments of the game. There were more temper tantrums seen on Saturday than there were all week at the local KinderCare facility. In their current state of mind, things could get really bad if the Fudgepack manages to jump to an early lead. Realistically, however, I don’t think that’s going to happen. The pups should rebound nicely and take care of biz against an overmatched Nevada squad. UW 30 – Nevada 14.
Well, that’s it for now. Next week is huge and I’m going to use my time in Vegas to get the juices flowing for the Beavs payback game against the hated Fuskies. Until then, do your best to suffer through and enjoy some good football outside the conference…Miami v. Florida State should be interesting.
Make it a great weekend and GO BEAVS!!!
Tony Soprano can be read every Friday. He can be contacted at email@example.com.