Twenty Things to Do on a Beaver Bye Week

No Beaver game this weekend! What is a Beaver Believer to do? A question we must all address this weekend. Here is a list of 20 things to do, half of which can be done at home and the other half away.

1)  Watch the Cal vs. USC football game on network television from your favorite couch.
2)  Clean the garage and or office/den.

3)  Road trip to Pullman, WA and watch the Zeros get killed by the Cougars.  Pretend like you are in college again and party with the locals.  Make sure to do random OSU cheers marching to the game and in the campus bar.  
4)  Go deep-sea fishing on the Oregon coast.  Or if they are in season:  clams, crabs, and oysters?  (Sounds like a new combo-disease)

5)  Call up 5-6 of your buddies and host a poker game at your house.  Get belligerent drunk and have no worries about driving home.  Crack out the Beaver Trivia coasters.
6)  Drive to the nearest Indian Casino, better yet fly to Nevada and lay down a dime ($10, 100, 1000, or 10K) depending on what kind of playa' you are on the "lock of the week".  I like Cal +7.5, if you can't get the hook, tease half point by paying an extra 10% juice.  Like one degenerate gambler told me at the Stardust during March Madness, when I asked him what he did for a living:  "I'm in accounting."   I digress.

7)  Sleep in, eat a big breakfast, read the newspaper, watch sit-com re-runs, and your favorite videos, and if you have the energy mow the lawn.  And also drink all the beer in your fridge and order pizza.  Try to best as lazy as possible.  Challenge yourself to supreme laziness.
8)  Go for a back-pack trip or long day hike.  Go by yourself and set yourself free from the chaos of the world or go with the family.  Choose from numerous great hikes that include the Coastal Range, Columbia Gorge Wilderness, and Cascade Mountains.  I recommend Dog Mountain, Table Rock Mountain, and Harts Cove as potential destinations.

9)  Update your phone/address list from the comforts of home and also update all your email addresses from the comforts of that home computer.  (If no computer, go to the library where it's free.)

10)  Go to the mall or one of those big electronic superstores and make a large purchase with the money you saved from not tailgating at a football game.

11)  Invite your neighbors over for a barbeque and start breaking down the OSU vs. UW game.  Be the ever optimistic Beaver Believer and start predicting a blow-out.
12)  Go to the local watering hole, saddle up to the bar and converse with total strangers. 

13)  Invite your friends over for a dinner party.  (A bit feminine, but it could be fun)
14)  Visit your grandma and grandpa or any other relative you always say you are going to visit but always procrastinate and never do.

15)  Dedicate the weekend to your spouse or significant other and do whatever they want to do for the entire day Saturday.  (This could be a toughie, but a major scoreboard point getter if you are keeping score at home.)

16)  Ignore #15 and do what you usually do on any other Saturday.  Watch ESPN GameDay in the morning, Big-10 game, Pac-10 game, SEC game, and then another West Coast game.  Make sure to have plenty of your favorite beverages within 20 feet of you at all times.  If you partake in sports wagering, make sure all your sure bets are locked and loaded. 

17)  Surf the internet.  Memorize obscure Beaver sports trivia, post on, start invading the web site, and make a donation to the Raising Reser fund.  That's multiple things, but you got all day, so do them all and don't complain about it!

18)  Go scout the pee-wee football players in your local neighborhood.  We need to find the talent at a young age.  If we can find the prized recruits at age 8, Beaver Nation will rise.

19)  Power wash the driveway, clean the gutters, paint a room in the house, and catch up on the home projects you have been putting off.

20)  Head down to one of the OSU Beaver stores and load up on orange and black paraphernalia.  A must buy is the Beaver flag and hang it proudly from your home.  This will piss of your entire neighborhood Ducks.

Go Beavs!  Rest up and gear up for a win next week in Seattle against the doggies.  And memo to Beaver Nation:  Do something constructive this weekend!

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