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It's Time to Think Outside the Box

Everyone knows that Ritchie McKay has left the beleaguered OSU basketball program for the hoop crazy University of New Mexico Lobos. First, UNM takes our football defensive coordinator (Rocky Long), and now our basketball head coach. What's next?

Will the possum be heading south? I hope not. I myself am from New Mexico and know that Ritchie is headed to a place where hoops is king. I wish him well though it would be nice if he had left under better circumstances.

What about OSU basketball? Who will be the person chosen to bring Beaver basketball back to the top of the PAC-10? I think that it is time to think outside of the box and consider some candidates that haven't been mentioned yet.

Steve Lavin (head coach UCLA) – Steve would love it in Corvallis. Unlike Bruin supporters, Beaver fans would call for his head after 3 or 4 losing seasons, not after 3 or 4 losing games. Heck, he would be considered a success if he just took his team to the PAC-10's elite 8.

Nolan Richardson (ex-head coach Arkansas) – A great coach with ties to the Northwest. His wife's uncle's second cousin's nephew played intramural basketball while attending OSU. Also, Richardson once ate a can of Hazelnuts sent to him as a Christmas present.

Pat Summit (head coach Tennessee Women's basketball) – OSU could break new ground by hiring Summit, the most successful women's basketball coach ever. Pat would only have to change shades of orange. OSU orange is a better shade anyway. The one downside is that Summit would have to get used to coaching in front of smaller crowds.

Kenneth Lay (ex-CEO Enron) – Kenneth is looking for a career change. He obviously knows how to get people to do more than they normally would. He could direct the team to shred the defense.

The potent one-two combination of Tonya Harding and Jermaine O'Neal (Portland's pugnacious pugilists) – They could put some punch in the Beaver offense.

Jody Runge (ex-head coach Oregon Women's basketball, star of sitcom, "Everybody Loves Jody") – Here is another chance for the Beavers to make history. The revenge factor would be huge!

Sean McDonough/Bob Davies (whiners) – Hire this pair and you won't have to worry about Junior College transfers polluting your basketball program. "That's not how we do things at OSU."

Halle Berry (acceptance speech specialist) – Inventor of the e-motion offense.

Henry Bibby (head coach USC) – Hire Hank and he can be that much closer to the fans he loves the most, those in Eugene.

Shawn Kemp (Portland Trailblazers) – Anyone who can talk that many women into…should be able to coerce a team to do well.

Johnny Russ (longtime OSU season ticket holder, fellow tailgater) – Johnny turned in a resume for OSU football head coach when Jerry Pettibone was given the pink slip but Mike Riley was hired instead. I'm pretty sure Mitch has considered passing Johnny over for Mike Riley as one of the biggest mistakes he ever made as an athletic director. Here is Mitch's chance to get it right. Johnny Russ is an expert on all matters regarding OSU football and basketball, and he is a tactical genius. I know this because, on the drives home from Corvallis, he tells me everything the coach did wrong. Mitch would be remiss to not hire this kind of expertise.

So there you have it, a list of potential candidates. All of these candidates have something to offer. My choice? Johnny Russ; he would get me better seats.

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