Billboard Smillboard, Husky Boosters Fight Back

University of Washington athletic boosters, smarting from a perceived lack of respect from just about everybody in the world announced the start of a Husky ad campaign. "Billboard Smillboard," said head booster J. Fraker, "Who cares about a stupid billboard in New York City? We can do better, and better means Dawg-drive 2002."

    Dawg-drive 2002 is an ad campaign that consists of advertisements placed on the tops of taxis in PAC-10 cities, coupled with an agreement with the Washington Horticulture & Agricultural Television (WHAT?) Network to replay all of Husky football games from 1989-1995. Fraker continued, "I'm sick and tired of Oregon fans and their condescending attitudes, anybody can put up two dumb billboards and sign a contract for replays nobody will watch anyway. However, everybody reads the signs on taxies, and who wouldn't want to watch Husky games, pre 1995?"

    Taxi signs in PAC-10 cities will have a picture of Husky coach Rick Neuheisel with a dialogue balloon tailored for that PAC-10 venue.

Los Angeles (blue guys): "I'm not a cheater, he is."

Los Angeles (red guys): "I'm not the coach of a perennially overrated team, he is."

Phoenix: "I'm not worried that I'll never play a certain bowl game in my home stadium, he is."

Tucson: "I'm not a whiner, he is."

Spokane: "I'm not Ryan Leaf's college coach, he is."

Palo Alto: "I'm not embarrassed by our mascot, he is."

Berkeley: "I'm not on probation without anybody really caring, he is."

Eugene: "I'm not worried that I might have to have a swoosh tattooed on my butt, he is."

Corvallis: "I'm not a national championship coach, he is."

    Replays will be shown on the WHAT? Network on Sunday mornings from 2 to 6 a.m., about the time most WHAT? viewers are getting up to feed their livestock. The cable network, which ironically counts Washington State graduates as its most avid subscribers, is available in most of rural Washington state and eastern Idaho. "We needed something to put in between, "Cooking with Spuds" and "Fertilizer Today", and J. Fraker and his gang came to our rescue."

    J. Fraker had one final word for the folks from Eugene, "We didn't start the advertising war, but with Dawg-drive 2002 we just might end it."

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