PAC-10 Dept. of Food Considering Ban on Hot Dogs

PAC-10 Department of Food officials, concerned about the lawsuit brought against McDonald's, Wendy's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Burger King, claiming their fare causes obesity, are considering making it illegal to eat hot dogs at any PAC-10 football game tailgating party.

According to PAC-10 legal and dietary spokesman A. Morelli, "We are concerned that overweight PAC-10 football fans might one day turn the sights of their litigation rifles towards us and we are not going to let that happen."
Morelli announced that PAC-10 officials are looking at other traditional tailgating menu items in addition to hot dogs, "We are also seriously looking into the idea of banning chips and the fattening dips that go with them. We don't want to be a legal target when some football fan with sky-high cholesterol is looking to sue someone because they didn't know eating an entire bag of sour cream and onion chips with an entire container of garlic dip was bad for you." Ban on Hot Dogs?
Hot dogs banned?

P. Dougherty, president of the PAC-10 Tailgating Etiquette and Quilting Society has informed that his group has tried to work out a compromise. "How about if we agree to boil or grill the dogs and to never cook them in grease or oil? That seems fair to me. What would tailgating be without hot dogs? I don't even want to think about it."

Reactions to the announcement from PAC-10 tailgaters have been mixed, from outrage in Seattle - "They can have my hot dog when they pry my cold dead fingers off of the bun, and the mustard bottle."

Y. Bradshaw; to indifference in Berkeley - "Dude, like all we serve are Tofu dogs anyway dude."

P. Starbird; to indecision in Eugene - "I'm not sure whether to support or condemn the idea, I have to call Beaverton first."

Dave F.; to anger in Corvallis - "The hot dog idea is pretty bad, but the chip and dip idea really sucks." Al R.

PAC-10 officials denied a rumor that doughnuts were also on the list of items to be banned in the future. A. Morelli, "We considered a ban on doughnuts but knew that it would impact our ability to obtain security and traffic control from local police agencies so we shelved that idea."

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