The Orange Attack

IT IS THE start of college football, but more importantly, it's less than seven days until the Orange Attack clan leaves for the airport to watch the Beavs take on UNLV and with Viva Las Vegas blasting on the tinny speakers.

So pardon me for looking past this week's scrimmage.

Oregon State opens up against the mighty mighty Vikings of Portland State and somehow, PSUGoViks is nowhere to be seen on the message boards. Somewhere the baby Jesus is crying.

It's hard to give a lot of press to the matchup. The newsman inside me (ok, way, WAY down inside) wants to look at the X's and O's and mention Michigan's embarrassing loss to Appalachian State in 2007. Lloyd Carr is still attempting to pull the stake driven through his coaching career's heart after losing to a D1-AA team.

Sorry, Football Championship Subdivision team. And are you kidding me with that? Why can't we have D1, D2, D3. Is this college football or the alphabet soup sanctioning bodies of professional boxing. All we need is Bob Arum and Don King on the sidelines.

I guess I should put forth some sort of halfhearted prediction -- Oregon State 44, Portland State 17. And Justin Engstrom gets a few snaps for the Vikings which means he can say that he once played in Reser Stadium. Good luck, kid.

In other tune-up news.

Oregon State is not the only Pac-10 team with a soft landing in the opener. USC has patsy San Jose State, Arizona scrimmages Central Michigan, Arizona State has body bag Idaho State, Stanford has their sure-thing with Washington State, and LSU is set up with sacrificial lamb Washington.

Pac-10 football officially kicks off tonight with Oregon visiting Boise State in the game voted most likely to cause optic pain. It's the ugliest uniform bowl. Blue turf, hideous new blue and orange uniforms and the hi-liter yellow and green. Oh the humanity.

Oregon is internally labeling the game as the Cheap Shot Revenge Bowl while my spies report a huge calendar in the BSU locker room with September 3 circled as "BCS qualifier game". The rest of the dates are labeled "Gimme".

Predictions
1. USC: Easy win at home, good break in for a true freshman QB. My sources also confirm Pete Carroll does indeed have a Matt Sanchez voodoo doll that he stabs and shouts "This is all your fault!"
2. Cal: Jahvid Best blows through wide open holes and sprints to the end zone all day long against a Maryland team that embarrassed Cal and by proxy the whole Pac 10 last season.
3. Oregon: They have the horses to overcome the Treasure Valley curse or at least cover the spread.. They should come away with a win as well.
4. Oregon State: Jerry Glanville will at least provide an entertaining post game conference. PSUGoViks will be spotted in Wal-Mart parking lot looking very confused.
5. Stanford: New QB but have a hard nosed attitude. Toby Gerhart plus a slew of returning starters makes Stanford the new hotness.
6. Arizona State: Dennis Erickson teams historically come back after a losing season with a whole new intensity. ASU's defense is going to be mean and play to the echo of the yellow hanky.
7. Arizona: Mike Stoops returns to form after last year's fluke season under 2008's greatest quarterback of all time, Willie Tuitama, otherwise known to 2009 UA fans as, 'That guy sucked anyway'.
8. UCLA: SDSU had a chance last year's Bruins, they were that bad. Now we find out if injuries were the REAL problem last year.
9. Washington: Cannon fodder for LSU in Seattle. Welcome to the Steve Sarkisian era. Wonder if the Tyee club will immediately start gathering money for his buyout or wait until Games 4-5.
10. Washington State: Cougs get run over by Gerhart and new Pac 10 tough guys Stanford. Two years in a row, Stanford plays a Pac-10 game very first out of the gate? That's odd.

Send your comments, kvetches, clarifications to Orangeattack@beaverfootball.com.


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