Game Day: What if?

While every Duck fan this side of Mars would love nothing more than a sizeable victory over the hated Huskies, what if things didn't go as planned?

"The best laid plans often go astray." I'm certain I've heard that somewhere and more certain of its validity, but while sports offer very little in terms of assurance, they do assure unpredictability. Count on nothing, depend on less, and prognostication is overrated. Three things I've learned, yet rarely heed…much to my dismay. Washington comes to Autzen Stadium on a presumably wet, sloppy Oregon day this afternoon, and while I'd normally tell you what would and would not happen during said encounter, I'm going to consider the alternative; the unpopular, the unthinkable, and the unlikely to happen.

Certainly as a Duck fan you'd consider the least likely result to be a Husky victory, but aside from the obvious, the following would certainly qualify as "Twilight Zone" material:

- Husky fans offer an apology via a diamond vision message for years of poor behavior due to a superiority complex the size of Mount Everest.

- Johnny Durocher enters the game in the third quarter to a bevy of applause, leads his team to a comeback reminiscent of Ronnie Bass of "Remember the Titans" fame, then takes a knee on the one yard line as time expires, leaving his Huskies a yard and a point from sweet victory, capping the greatest sited attempt at "double-agency" since Greg Brady hired his sister Marcia to steal Westside High's playbook from their starting quarterback.

- Rick Neuheisel and Billy Joe Hobert are honored at halftime and inducted into the newly constructed Husky Memorial erected outside of Autzen Stadium.

- The ashes of the Duck paraphernalia burned at the hands of Johnny Durocher and his father following his departure from Eugene, are spread over the field prior to kick-off by Phil Knight in his helicopter.

- Carl Bonnell throws for 450 yards and 6 touchdowns, later being compared to Brady Quinn and becoming a late Heisman candidate.

- Tyrone Willingham, in an effort to raise spirits of "Stanford 2001," suits up Teyo Johnson in a Husky uniform, sends him on a fade route 35 times during the game, and he catches 34 of them.

- Don James is seen wearing a headset on the Washington sideline and later heard telling his team, "You don't score, until you score!", a la Steve Stifler in "American Pie."

All of the aforementioned are possibilities, yet there probability is nearly, if not zero. However, while sports and especially rivalries are unpredictable, one should never say never.

Enjoy the game and go Ducks!

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