BootPowerRatings™ - Sept. 15

The BootPowerRatings™ are back, and TreeBoy shows no mercy. They've vacated plenty of wins recently for scandal, but can we make USC give back its last two W's for sheer ugliness? Read on!

Oregon 95

After being gashed for huge gains on the ground, the sky came to Whoregon's rescue as a lighting storm caused a 45-minute delay, allowing the team to make adjustments and reel off 45 unanswered points to Orange Crush the hosting Vols. After serving his "suspension," LaMichael James returned to his big play form, making the national highlights with a 72-yard scamper. Say what you want about Blount, but at least he only punches dudes.

Stanford 92

Some swore they could see Haley's Comet pass over Pasadena on Saturday night, but others were transfixed on an even rarer event: Stanford shutting out a conference opponent on the road. The revamped coaching staff has to be proud of their suddenly stingy D, capped off by a Michael Thomas "strip six." Meanwhile, Andy Luck will try and post two games' worth of passing stats against a weakened Wake team that has some payback coming its way.

kal 90

After having their arses handed to them in every facet of the game, Colorado might be realizing just how good they have it in the Big 12. Watching the opposing team regularly punt out of its own end zone, Berserkely fans must have thought they were at an Arena Football game, as kal's average starting field position was the Buffalo 47. The weenies are so jacked to play in Reno this week that they are going to take the field on Friday instead of Saturday.

Arizona 84

Methodically dismantling their first two patsies, Stoops' Strays are hungry for some hawk egg omelettes. Iowa came out on top in last year's meeting that marked the beginning of the Nick Foles era and the end of the inglorious Matt Scott era. Already one of the nation's most accurate throwers, Foles has his sights set on leading his squad to the school's first ever Rose Bowl.

Oregon State 80

Idle Beavers are the devil's playground, just ask the ex-players who were involved in the incident that garnered the nickname "OS-Ewe." This time around it appears the boys behaved themselves, but you have to wonder what good a bye week does so early on. Given that Mike Riley has had two weeks to game plan and is coming off a tough loss, I would be scared if I were Louisville.

USC 74

‘SC must have spent the entire week leading up to the UVA game doing defensive drills, as the offense went missing, making the Trojans the most disappointing 2-0 team in history. For USC fans, I guess the good news is they'll probably have to vacate the wins anyway. Maybe they can just give ‘em back, like Reggie and his Heisman. Part of the problem is penalties, as the Toejams rank nearly dead last in both total banana peels and yardage. Winning in Minnesota this week still won't tell us how scary this team is and neither will the next game in Pullman. My guess is that we will see the real mettle of this team during a blackout in Palo Alto.

Washington 69

Trailing at halftime to lowly Syracuse, the canines were staring post-season elimination dead in the eyes. Sark's speech must have worked though, as TV crime fighters Locker and Kearse connected repeatedly to runaway from the orange ones. UW came close to earning some east coast street cred when they hung tough with LSU last season, and they will attempt to derail Nebraska's farewell tour this weekend. If successful, Stevie S. will certainly steal the Sunday Seattle headlines from his former boss.

Arizona State 61

Struggling to put away Northern Arizona is no way to endear yourself to the BootComputer™, but any win in Tempe this season is reason enough to celebrate. Considering his team is composed of mostly transfers and JUCO standouts, we think Coach Erickson has been neglecting his recruiting duties in his twilight years. On the plus side, with two more personal fouls collected last Saturday, The Von-Tasmanian Devil is well on his way to shattering the dubious NCAA record.

UCLA 45

Let's see how many fairy tale references I can cram into the following breakdown: The clock is stuck on midnight in the Enchanted Westwood Village as Princess Kevin and the squirt gun offense have left Emperor Chow with no clothes. Even with King Richard (Brehaut) ascending to the thrown, the peasants are still bitter about losing the Sheriff of (Brett) Nottingham. I count six, which might be how many games Neuheisel has left in his career.

Washington State 30

As bad as this team has been and continues to be, at least they don't quit. Down 15 with time running out in the 4th quarter, Wazoo mounted a furious rally to break Montana State's collective hearts and guaranteed they would avoid a winless season, something they can hang over their rivals. Quote of the week comes from head man Paul Wulff, who said he would take any win during a rebuilding year. Rebuilding year? Is that like when the tide comes in and washes away your two-bucket castle that took five minutes to construct?


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