BPR Oct. 13: All quiet on the Western front

"So many story lines to chose from the Card's epic battle with Troy, and not one involves a scandal of tabloid proportions. Instant redemption for some Stanford heroes, aerial assaults from both sides, an All-American regaining his return form and Andrew Luck making the highlight reel on the defensive side of the ball." There's your Stanford take. What sayeth TreeBoy of the rest of the league?

Oregon 95

The other Oregon team is known for starting seasons slow and finishing strong, and this Oregon team has borrowed that pattern and applied it to each game. In contests against FBS opponents, the lopsided splits show UO with a modest +9 scoring advantage in the first half, and then a cavernous +78 differential in the second. The best strategy for future teams going forward might be to build a huge lead and then hang on for dear life.

Stanford 94

So many story lines to chose from the Card's epic battle with Troy, and not one involves a scandal of tabloid proportions. Instant redemption for some Stanford heroes, aerial assaults from both sides, an All-American regaining his return form and Andrew Luck making the highlight reel on the defensive side of the ball. The emotional and physical toll of the last three games was steep, and The Trees now welcome their Improvement Week™ with open arms.

Oregon State 87

Missed extra points were the theme for Week Six and Justin Kahut's two shanks brought back painful memories of Alexis Cerna's three duffs down in Baton Rouge. Luckily they did not come back to haunt The Beavs, who knocked The Mildkittens from the ranks of the unbeatens while staying unbeaten in the conference standings themselves. Losing James Rodgers seems like a disaster, but freshman Markus Wheaton might be the best young wideout this side of the Woods.

Arizona 86

With an extra week to prepare and a home date hosting the vermin, Arizona was in prime position to keep their lofty new ranking and kick start a tough series of road games in conference. As usual, they did not rise to the occasion, and the long-awaited championship season continues to elude Stoops the Younger. With a new weakness exposed in their defense and the offense being reduced to the Foles and Criner toss-up, someone needs to step up if they want to return to the promised land of San Diego.

kal 78

Halfway through the season, kal is undefeated at home and unbearable on the road. Disarming Chow's pistol had to feel good, but an old foe with new weapons awaits in Compton, where 'da Bears haven't won since Y2K. Referring to his albatross of a QB after the game, Tedford was quoted as saying, "He needs to improve, make better decisions. He needs to complete balls." Hard to imagine someone messing up such a simple game plan, so what's your deal, Kevin?

Arizona State 70

It's amazing what can happen when you don't turn the ball over and shoot yourself in the foot with penalties. ASU's defense has been solid all season and they made the usually fleet of foot Locker appear pedestrian, limiting him to 11 yards on the ground. Finally relieving themselves of that proverbial backside primate, the scrappy Satans can use the off week to plot out a path to four more victories to become bowl eligible.

USC 67

Playing in the closest thing they will get to a bowl game all season, $C appeared to have shaken off the heart-breaking loss from a week prior when they took the lead with just over a minute to go in Palo Alto. Instead, it was another dose of heartburn that surged through their collective guts, as they watched helplessly as yet another last-second field goal nullified a Herculean effort from Matt Barkley and Robert Woods. Inquiring minds want to know: at the end of the season, will Lane deliver the pink slip to his father personally or via text message?

UCLA 64

If there is a more inconsistent team in college football than The Rickettes, please let me know. Start the season in such poor form you look like you will be lucky to win one game, then upset two ranked teams and appear to have a nasty rushing attack. Follow that up with a near-loss at home to conference doormat Wazzu and then get mauled by a team that has trouble with the highly specialized offense you run. Good luck to whichever team decides to make the trip to Eugene.

Washington 63

Having blown their wad against The Kiffins, The Sarks returned to form at Montlake as the underachieving coffee flavor known locally as "Seattle's Worst." It was raining buckets on Husky Stadium and Mr. Locker was under the weather himself, not getting any help from his go-to receiver Jermaine "My Hands Are" Kearse(d), who dropped two critical passes on potential game-tying drives. No one pulls off the WWE Superstar look better than defensive coordinator Nick Holt.

Washington State 48

The other nine teams in the conference should be on alert as Wulff has trumped Harbaugh's cruelty motto with his newest mantra: If you can't beat 'em, hurt 'em. After nearly beheading Kenjon Barner, the Cougs put Darron Thomas out of commission and tried to do the same to backup Nick Costa, but they couldn't catch him. Still, The Boot Computer likes the scrappiness of this bunch and promises to vault them into ninth place at the expense of their rivals should they win a game.


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