Luck to lead construction of Modesty Hall

As a condition of his decision to return to Stanford for his redshirt junior season, Stanford quarterback and leading 2011 Heisman Trophy candidate Andrew Luck has been granted broad authority to design a ground-breaking new on-campus facility that will house additional football offices, meeting rooms, and a controversial ultra-luxurious player lounge, The Bootleg learned late Thursday night.

The planned new building, which will be named "Modesty Hall", will cost approximately $62.4 million dollars and is estimated to require 12-18 months of construction, even using triple shifts and a cadre of custom granite-cutters flown in from Budweis, Czechoslovakia by a prominent alumnus and athletics patron. It will serve as a complement to the Arrillaga Family Sports Center, which serves as the home of the Department of Athletics, Physical Education and Recreation [DAPER].

According to sources within the Stanford Athletic department, fundraising for the ambitious project will be conducted in a variety of ways, but there's a general sense of confidence that the requisite donor capital can be raised in short order.

"The Stanford Football marketing team has some new and exciting ideas that we feel will convince boosters to make donations to support this important project," stated an athletic department source, speaking on the condition of anonymity. "I'm told there will be several new, exciting YouTube videos that will help convey the importance and scope of the project, as well as a series of typo-free promotional emails. It was a pretty exciting day when we came to the realization that Stanford was spelled with only one ‘d.'"

The source added that in order to ease the fears of a handful of skeptical University administrators who felt the Department could well require substantial subsidies to support its ambitious fundraising efforts, there will be an pseudo-optional "donation" attached to prime football season tickets to bolster the fundraising efforts accompanied by a $1.75 surcharge on non-premium parking passes. After all, people have been getting a free ride on Stanford Football parking for more than a century!

"Although we're well aware most of our loyal, wonderful, brilliant season ticket holders have already renewed their season tickets for 2011, we're going to give those ticket holders an option to add value to the Stanford Football experience," the source said. "They'll have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make a annual donation of $10,000 per seat to pay for the new building."

And if season ticket-holders decline the optional donation?

"The ticket holders will have an option to relocate to still-prestigious end zone sections. There isn't a bad seat at Stanford Stadium! Unless it rains really hard and then there are a couple...maybe."

The source declined to answer The Bootleg's query as to whether the "optional donation" could further deplete Stanford's frustratingly limited local fan base, responding only with "Ya Think?"

Construction of the new building is tentatively scheduled to begin immediately following the conclusion of Stanford Football's 2011 home schedule, with a backhoe battalion ready to break ground when the final gun sounds against Notre Dame on November 26. While it's likely young Luck will enter the 2012 NFL Draft, sources indicate he has a plan in place to balance construction oversight with draft preparation.

Blueprints of the building itself have not been released, but yet another athletic department source said Modesty Hall is expected to be on par with and even dwarf some of the state-of-the-art facilities that higher-profile, arms race-igniting programs including Oregon and Arkansas, have recently constructed during a difficult economy.

"When fans first see it, they'll be awe-struck," the insider said. "Andrew really outdid himself this time."

When reached by The Bootleg for comment, Luck downplayed his lead role in the innovative building's design.

"I'd first like to apologize to my teammates, my family members, and the construction crew I will be working with," Luck said. "I should have submitted the building blueprints using a No. 2 pencil – instead, I was lazy and used erasable pen. It was an inexcusable mistake, it stinks, and I will do better next time.

"Further, none of this would have been possible without the help of my Cardinal teammates, my sister, and the support of the entire Stanford community. They're the real reason for my success on and off the field. I'm nothing but an aspiring soccer player with a mediocre right arm and a frequent beneficiary of good fortune."

The decision to allow Luck the unlimited authority to design such an expensive building didn't come without controversy, however. Although Stanford's ever-diligent Compliance Department cleared the project with the NCAA (Luck will earn class credit for the project), rival schools in the Pacific-10 conference and across the nation didn't approve.

"You know, I like Andrew," said Auburn coach Gene Chizik when reached for comment by The Bootleg. "I recruited him when I was at Iowa State, although it was clear from the beginning that the Cyclones didn't have much of what Andrew was looking for. I'm just a bit, you know, perplexed that Andrew isn't getting paid for his work. I'm a firm believer that our young men should be fairly compensated for their contributions, both on and off the field. I'm angry and disappointed that Andrew won't have that opportunity."

When reached by The Bootleg, Arizona coach Mike Stoops didn't cite any particular reason for his disapproval of Luck's project, but made it clear he wasn't happy.

"WHAAAATTT!" a blood-red Stoops exclaimed. "It was f****** holding!"

Undeterred by the vocal opposition, Stanford, and Luck intend to forge ahead with the project. As mentioned earlier, the preliminary designs have been submitted by Luck for approval, and the school is set to begin its fundraising efforts before the first game of the 2011 football season.

Stay tuned to The Bootleg for periodic updates on Modesty Hall as we look forward to the start of construction.

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