Top 11 Reasons Stanford Is Better Than Rice

With Stanford facing off this weekend vs Rice in the College World Series, we have an unusual pairing of academically renowned schools. Call it the "Rhodes Bowl" or the "SAT Series" if you must, but we aren't going to sit down and sing Kumbaya with these guys. There is plenty of room for chest thumping and bragging bravado. In the interest of some rivalry gibing, here are a few reasons Stanford is better than Rice...

11. Rice claims to be located on "America's South Coast."  Has anybody in the rest of the country ever heard of the "South Coast"?

10. Leland Stanford was governor of California during the Civil War, and he held California in the Union.  William Marsh Rice fled to Mexico during the Civil War and stayed there for the duration.

9. Rice has a trustee named "Bucky." Stanford has a trustee named "Young Boozer."  We win.

8. Rice didn't admit non-white students until 1965.  At a time when many top schools were men-only, Stanford was founded as a coeducational school.

7. Stanford has won 85 NCAA team championships.  If Rice wins this weekend, it will be right around, oh, 84 championships behind Stanford.

6. Stanford was founded in 1891, and Rice was chartered in 1891.  But Rice's founder didn't actually do anything to start the university, leaving the details to be figured out after he died.  Rice didn't open until 1912.

5. Famous Stanford athletes include Tiger Woods, Jim Plunkett, John McEnroe, John Elway, Bob Mathias, Tom Watson, Ernie Nevers, and so on.  Famous Rice athletes include... wait, give me minute... I'll think of someone...

4. Stanford has 4 alumni on the Supreme Court; Rice has none.  With one more Stanford vote on the court, we'll have a majority, and we can finally go to court to change the result of Cal's illegal 5-lateral kickoff return.

3. Stanford has won its 9th straight Directors' Cup as the best overall athletic program in the nation.  If Rice wins the baseball championship, Rice will finish 70th in the Directors' Cup standings, edging out Kent State and New Hampshire.

2. Rice's mascot is the Hooters logo.

1. No matter how nice the landscaping is, no matter how beautiful the buildings are, no matter how strong the faculty is, you can't get away from one thing: Rice is in Houston.


P.S. This is all intended in good fun. I have a lot of respect for Rice, and I think it's terrific that two schools with true student-athletes are playing in the CWS finals. Thanks to Owl fans for posting on our message boards, and please continue to visit The Bootleg!


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