Dirty Dozen: The Turnstile Edition

Arizona's won five straight, ASU's stopped going crazy with the penalties, Tedford's losing his mind at Cal, the less said about Colorado the better, and we're only up to the letter C. (Strange but true: after Colorado, the next Pac-12 team alphabetically is Oregon. Big gap there.) Anyhow, it's not just Eminem's backup band, it's a regular feature around these parts... The Dirty Dozen!

Arizona

Guess which team is currently on the longest win streak in the conference? Okay, it's Oregon with six straight, but Arizona is next in line with five after blanking South Carolina State. Picking up Rich Rod's scheme faster than most thought possible, QB Matt Scott is making everyone in Tucson forget about that Nick Foles kid by lighting up opponents for 600 yards a contest. If the Cats can somehow manage to slow down the Quack Attack, they might have to dust off that Desert Swarm moniker.

Arizona State

Although a furious rally in Columbia brought them tantalizingly close to a 3-0 start, the Solar Satans had to settle for 2-1 when Taylor Swift Kelly was picked off in the end zone to seal the defeat. Snake bit by injuries the past two seasons, ASU has not only remained relatively healthy, but been fortunate enough to miss their opposition's starting QB in each game so far. Further evidence the program is moving in the right direction is the fact that ASU has only amassed 11 penalties so far this year, the norm for one half of football under the previous regime.

California

Once considered the hottest coaching commodity on the West Coast, Jeff Tedford is proving that being exposed to Berkeley for too long causes irreversible damage to the higher thinking portions of the brain. As if giving only four touches to Brendan Bigelow, a running back for whom Ohio State had no answer, wasn't head scratching enough, Tedford kept sending his feckless kicker onto the field to cap off momentum-killing drives with a goose egg. Another disappointment has been Keenan Allen's lack of touchdown production, despite a clear uptick in quarterback play from his half-brother. We should just assume that is Tedford's fault as well.

Colorado

At some point during the Cow Chips' debacle in Fresno (most likely at halftime when they were down 55-7) Larry Scott began scanning Colorado's Pac 12 agreement for an escape clause. After ending last season on an up note, we had hoped Colorado could at least be competitive, but the early returns say that is a pipe dream. The only positive I can come up with is that the Buffalitos are currently ahead of Southern Cal in the standings.

Oregon

If there doesn't seem to be as much buzz surrounding the tub toys this year, it might be due to their snoozer of an OOC schedule. Desperate to keep the sell-out streak alive, the AD offered a Groupon and last minute walk-up deals. Not surprisingly, all the seats were eventually sold because let's be honest here, it's not like Duck fans are going to read a book when they are bored. Though there are some mounting injury concerns, Oregon looks poised to defend their North Crown, starting with a home dance against the suddenly ferocious kitties.

Oregon State

Even though Wisconsin's sluggish start has taken some of the luster off the Beavers' opening win, scheduling quirks have them headed into Week 4 undefeated (1-0, but still), which has to give Corvallis a fuzzy feeling. The revamped Bruins offense should provide a better indicator of just how stingy Banker's defense is, assuming Mora Jr. sent him the game film he requested.

Stanford

Tired of hearing the press drone on incessantly about how "unpressurable" Matt Barkley is, the Cardinal defense set out to prove that wasn't the case, and reduced the once proud Trojan line to turnstiles. The guest list for Stanford's party in the backfield was so long it would be the envy of even the trendiest Hollywood night club. On the other side of the ball, Work-in-Progress quarterback Josh Nunes may have inadvertently shown the world that he is secretly taking dance lessons.

UCLA

Early returns would suggest that moving fall practice to San Bernardino wasn't such a bad idea after all. Attendance still hasn't recovered from the pistol scare, but perhaps the recent loss by their El Lay siblings will have frontrunners switching allegiances. Brett Hundley continues to capture headlines, while Jonathan Franklin leads the nation in rushing at 180 yards per game, and is dangerously close to surpassing Gaston Green as the school's all-time leader.

USC

Since I've already had my Compton press credentials revoked, I won't hold any punches when detailing Lane's injuries and failure to end the Stanford losing streak. Not having an adequate game plan to deal with his newbie center's shortcomings not only limited his team's point potential, but it may have also given his golden goose PTSD. Did anyone check to see if Papa Kiffin's PowerPoint presentation contained any slides on how to stop Stepfan Taylor?

Utah

Most of you probably missed the wacky ending in Salt Lake because you were still basking in the glow of four-in-a-row, so I'll fill you in here. The fans prematurely rushed the field twice, allowing BYU two chances at tying the game with a field goal, but the Cougars couldn't convert on either. It was a nice bounce-back win for the Utes, with the added bonus of it coming at the expense of their rivals. Utah fans swear Buddy Teevens got a raw deal at Stanford because he was 2-0 against the hated Cougars.

Washington

Tucked away in the brutal stretch of LSU/Stanford/USC/Oregon was little old Portland State, whom the Huskies were more than happy to take their frustrations out on. Even against an inferior opponent, UW managed to pick up eight penalties and struggled to establish any semblance of a rushing attack. Part of the problem is their patchwork offensive line, which should be easy to hide when they face Stanford...

Washington State

No one benefits from Jeff Tuel being injured more than back up Connor Halliday, except maybe the Cougs themselves. Halliday once again had a banner night, throwing for 378 yards and four TDs, though I should point out that WSU beat this same Rebel team 59-7 last season. Quick warning for Leach and his staff; there aren't many (if any) winnable games remaining on Colorado's schedule, but this trip to Pullman is as close as they are going to get.


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