25. Oregon State Beavers
Nickname Origin: Formerly an all women's school.
2012 Low: Riding high one week after stomping the weenies 62-14 and facing archrival Oregon at home, the Ducks ignored June's advice to Ward and were hard on the Beavers with a 48-24 waxing.
2012 High: Taking out their frustrations a week later on poor little Nicholls State 77-3. Fans who enjoyed that game would have been cheering the lions eating the Christians 2000 years ago.
Recent arrest: Cornerback Tyler Hasty, son of former NFL player James Hasty, for doing 81 in a 55 zone, crashing his car in a parking lot trying to evade police before taking off running. Dismissed from the team for not being able to outrun a cop.
Famous alums: Linus Pauling, inventor of the security blanket. Dick Fosbury, famous flop. Sara Jean Underwood, 2007 Playmate of the Year and star of a nude yoga video which inspired me to buy a yoga mat and get one very specific muscle group in excellent shape.
24. USC Trojans
Nickname Origin: Since a city in which is now Turkey from 3000 years ago can't possibly have anything to do with a college in Southern California, clearly the name comes from the brand of condom filling huge bowls in every campus sorority.
2012 Low: Yes.
2012 High: Starting the season ranked #1 in the AP poll. Seriously, look it up. Also, Sylvester Stallone wrote an Oscar winning film once.
Recent arrest: TE Junior Pomee, felony burglary and grand theft, after being found passed out drunk in an alley behind a frat with 2 iPads and an iPhone, none of which were his.
Famous alums: Neil Armstrong, first person kicked off of Earth and forced to live on the moon. Frank Gifford, husband of Kathy Lee Gifford. OJ Simpson, famous murderer. George Lucas, made a movie with space stuff in it.
23. Wisconsin Badgers
Nickname Origin: A huge weasel that eats anything, much like their fan base.
2012 Low: Losing 3 overtime games in less than a month.
2012 High: Being allowed to stay within one score of the Mighty Cardinal in the Rose Bowl.
Recent arrest: None since star RB Montee Ball a year ago for refusing to leave a porch. Wisconsin players tend to be the assaultee, not the assaulter.
Famous alums: William S. Harley, invented a motorcycle loved by grubby, meth dealing gang members and despised by the non-deaf. David & Jerry Zucker, made an excellent documentary about air travel. Don Ameche, lost vast fortune in failed attempt to corner the frozen concentrated orange juice market.
22. Northwestern Wildcats
Nickname Origin: Named for the Goldie Hawn film in a failed attempt to get her to become their new head coach in the late 80s.
2012 Low: Blew 4th quarter leads to both Nebraska and Michigan.
2012 High: Continued their bowl game dominance by racking up their second win in just 64 years.
Recent arrest: Damn, seem to be dirt free, have to go back 15 years for the point shaving scandal.
Famous alums: Charleton Heston, gun nut. Arthur Andersen, failed accountant. Jeri Ryan, boner-inducing catsuit wearer.
21. UCLA Bruins
Nickname Origin: Pompous version of bear, chosen as an F-you to Cal-Berkeley.
2012 Low: Getting trounced 43-17 by those same lame Bears.
2012 High: Taking the field against the Mighty Cardinal two weeks in a row, a level of contact with Stanford men they won't experience again until taking their keys at valet parking a couple years from now.
Recent arrest: Just a high-profile dismissal, as former 49er Tim McDonald's son Tevin, a frosh All-American in 2011, was booted for failing his 4th drug test. Must be some really good sh*t.
Famous alums: Lloyd Bridges, glue sniffing pilot. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, dead pilot. Jim Morrison, dead singer. Ray Manzarek, dead keyboardist. Bill Walton, red haired soliloquist.
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