BootPowerRatings™ - 9/9

After the wild weekend that was in college football, every team in the Pac-10 has now stepped on the field. Well, we're not so sure that UCLA actually did, but that's another story. With limited data and a new software algorithm, Tree Boy has churned out the highly anticipated debut edition of this fall's BPRs. Read on for an insightful look up and down the Pac, with zingers-a-plenty for our beloved brethren.

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Pac-10 BootPowerRatings™
As of 9/9/03

Below are our exclusive BootPowerRatings™ of the Pac-10 conference. Each week during the football season, we will release our secret-formula rating of all teams of the Pac-10. The BootPowerRating™ (BPR) is calculated by utilizing a range of factors rumored to include: past results, statistics, common-opponent comparative results factor, strength-of-schedule, home-stadium environment, cheerleader attitude and an unrevealed school spirit multiplier. The resulting rating score falls within a 1-100 scale, where 100 approximates a Rose Bowl-bound team and a score of 1 is somewhere south of D-1.

1. USC
If you are one who believes in omens, the absence of Traveler from the Coliseum grounds does not bode well for the Orange Bowl champs.  Never a man of superstition, Pete "NFL Repellent" Carroll feels the only horses he needs are the ones that anchor the D-line.  That is all fine and dandy, but a shot at a national title rests squarely on the shoulders of Palmer's understudy, Matt Leinart[]
2. Oregon
Those new jerseys are painfully yellow, as in proceed with caution in Eugene. A QB controversy far more dicey than Lewis vs. Edwards is simmering between Jason Fife and Kellen Clemmens, the likes of which has Magnum P.I. Bellotti yearning for the days when banner boy Joey was under center.  [eDuck Sports]
3. Arizona St.
In case you missed it (and judging by the attendance, reaction and general disinterest, you did) Tempe Tech notched a win over the first of their book-ended rivals from Flagstaff.  The only other Pac-10 team besides SC to end last season with a bowl win, ASU is the trendy pick to keep those very Southern Gals from donning the conference tiara.  []
4. Stanford
With nowhere to go but up, the Cardinal kicked off the '03 campaign by completing a three game sweep of their own against those spunky Spartans.  After waiting nine months for some action, Cardinal fans have to wait two more weeks to see how far the team has come in that time.  Is it too early to start the Luke Powell for Heisman buzz?  []
5. Washington
After inheriting the Huskymobile, Keith Gilbertson took it for a test drive at the Horseshoe Speedway, upon which he was quickly engulfed in flames.  He fared a little better at the Indy 500 a week later, but the "check engine" light is still glaring through the dashboard.  []
6. Washington St.
In Pullman, there is a word much more offensive than any four-letter curse you can imagine.  It starts with a "C" and ends with an "ouged-it."  Last Saturday in South Bend however, this word was used with reckless abandon and rightfully so.  Not even the Heimlich maneuver performed with the jaws of life could have saved the Crimson Cats from that choke of epoch proportions.  []
7. Oregon St.
Normally, no one has to ask what that smell coming out of Fresno is, but last Thursday there was an extra foul aroma coming from Bulldog Stadium.  The primary source was Beaver signal caller Derek Anderson, who set a futility mark by completing 5 passes to the opposition.  Not ones to be shown up, his teammates matched his play by racking up a season's worth of penalty yards in one night.  []
8. California
Last year the Weenies cashed in on a decades worth of bad luck by getting every conceivable break and bounce, though due to misbehavior they could not reap the rewards of a postseason game.  Now it's back to business as usual in Strawberry Canyon, where par is set at 3 wins and The Axe doesn't hang on the wall long enough for anyone to notice when it's gone.  [CyberBears]
As if the loss wasn't painful enough, the Blue-ins lost playmaker extraordinaire Matt Moore for 6 weeks to what is being called a deep bone bruise.  I wonder if it will be as debilitating as the deep brain bruise from which Steve Lavin suffered.  In a touching tribute, the players dedicated the game to the dearly departed Bob Toledo.  May he rest in forced retirement.  [Bruin Report Online]
10. Arizona
Determined to prove that their three-game winning streak dating back to last year is a fluke, Zona made a statement with a 45 point surrender to LSU.  Rumor has it that marked headman "Gone" Mackovic has had his assistants surgically altered to look like him and drives a different car to work every day.  []

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