Below are our exclusive BootPowerRatings of the Pac-10 Conference. Each week during the football season, we will release our secret formula rating all the Pac-10 teams. The BootPowerRating (BPR) is calculated by utilizing a range of factors rumored to include: past results, statistics, common-opponent comparative results, strength-of-schedule, home-stadium environment, cheerleader attitude and an unrevealed school spirit multiplier. The resulting rating score falls within a 1-100 scale, where 100 approximates a Rose Bowl-bound team and a score of 1 is somewhere south of D-1.
1. USC 90 (Last:
Oh the huge manatee! Tripped up by the damming in Corvallis again, $C has a long climb ahead of them if they want to make it back to the top of the polls. Maybe more disturbing is that their two wins so far don't look as impressive as they did even a couple of weeks ago. Ohio St. looks like the fourth-best team in their own conference and even Duke managed to spank Virginia. This Saturday provides a chance to right the ship at home versus the Quackers, that other Oregon team that they also have a losing streak against.
2. Arizona 85 (Last: 85)
Not much to report on down in the Ol' Pueblo after a sleepy bye week. Looking ahead, Tuitama will shatter most UA passing records due to the inception of the spread for the first time in school history. The Kitties have added their behemoth tight end Rob Gronkowski back into the mix, adding another arrow into the quiver. Find a nice seat on the lawn ad enjoy the fireworks as the UW defense bends further over this weekend in Tucson.
3. Oregon 83 (Last: 78)
Perhaps the most significant takeaway from Pullman last Saturday was that UO made it four quarters without sending a quarterback to the infirmary. That, and they were able to take out the frustration of losing to the Smurf Turfers by exploiting third-world program WSU. Not available for the stat padding contest were wide receiver Jamere Holland and linebacker Eddie Pleasant, both of whom were injured during a drag race back in Eugene. Bondsman Bellotti was just relieved to hear that no narcotics were found in the wreckage.
4. Oregon State 82 (Last: 73)
Second time was the charm for a Thursday night thriller in Corvallis. Dem Beavs took down a No. 1 team for the first time in 40 years and set off an ulcer-inducing weekend for the majority of ranked teams with BCS aspirations. Mike "Life of" Riley employed the Doug Flutie strategy by hiding 5'7" scat back Quizz "Rhymes With" Rodgers behind the O-line, allowing him to bob and weave undetected and into the Trojan secondary. OSU will try to build on this win as they face the Utes in yet another Thursday night contest.
5. Stanford 80 (Last: 74)
After two decades of futility at Husky Stadium, Stanford is now 2-0 there over the last three years. This sudden turnaround happened immediately after T-Willie took over as head coach of the Purple People Eaters. Coincidence? We think not. The most impressive aspect of the Card's season-best offensive output was that they did it without their two most potent threats in Gerhart and Sherman. Playing in front of family and friends was more than enough incentive for Tavita Pritchard to have a career day behind center, and backfield mate Anthony Kimble did the same and threw in a highlight reel 82-yard touchdown run for kicks.
6. kal 79 (Last: 75)
Though you would never guess from the scoreboard, Berzerkeley tallied fewer yards than the Lambs, relying on special teams and defensive touchdowns to put the game away. No smile could be found on Jeff Tedford's face however, as tailback Jahvid Best dislocated his elbow and will miss a substantial amount of time. Plus, the QB controversy is alive and kicking again as Nate Longshore-man relieved an ineffective Kevin Riley.
This week's kal slur: "Show no mercy for those axe envious, safety school fallback, commie wannabe hippies!"
7. Arizona State 72 (Last: 72)
Apparently the entire state of Arizona had the weekend to pursue other hobbies, though the Solar Satans were not in a playful mood after they rolled over and played dead against Georgia. The return of starting running back Keegan Herring should take some pressure off of Carpenter, but the inability for ASU's line to open any lanes makes it difficult to be "runnin' with the Devils." If they can't find a way to take advantage of a wounded kal this weekend, they could be staring at a death-spiral inducing four-game losing streak, with $C looming a week later.
8. UCLA 58 (Last: 62)
All that fuss about not wanting to get second-billing on Southern California football exposure was a bit premature, as El Lay demonstrated they are not even second-best in the region, losing at home to Fresno St. Nearly in full panic mode, Slick Rick grabbed a microphone connected to the PA and pleaded with the forlorn crowd to come back next week as he guaranteed improvement and promised a win. Next week's opponent? Washington State.
9. Washington 32 (Last: 37)
I suppose it would be easy and justifiable enough to can 'Rone, but who on that staff is worthy of taking the place? Offensive Coordinator Tim Lappano? He has enough on his plate with Locker out. Defensive Coordinator Ed Donatell? Only if you can stop laughing long enough to say, "No way in Hell." Speaking of laughing, I guess J.R. was trying to see if that really is the best medicine, as he was as happy as he has looked since his ill-fated, celebratory toss of the football against BYU. The only thing keeping Yoo Dub out of the BPR cellar is their atrocious rival. This year's game should be renamed "The Crapple Cup."
10. Washington State 24 (Last: 32)
In their four games against Division I opponents, The Coug Counter shows they have been outscored 212-47, an average final score of 53-12. This is historically bad, and they still haven't faced the offenses of $C, Zona, OSU and, of course, the juggernaut running game from Palo Alto. More fun with numbers, Wa"zzz" u has been outrushed by an average of 269 to 121, and they only mustered one-tenth the total rush yards as Oregon last week. Abysmal doesn't even begin to describe it.
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