Celebrity boxing

This is the time of year when sporting websites are reduced to recapping "events" that have virtually no connection to legitimate athletics – eating competitions and celebrity boxing matches, for instance.

In case you haven't heard, Atlantic City hosted one of the latter last weekend. Roughly 1,300 people who apparently were tired of wasting money on slot machines decided to waste money on a scheduled three-rounder between former National Football League player Vai Sikahema and former Major League Baseball player Jose Canseco.

The 5-9 Sikahema, the so-called "Tongan Terror," lived up to his nickname by overwhelming the 6-4 Canseco, known as the "Steroid Stud" (but only by me). The bout was stopped after Jose was decked twice in the first 97 seconds. I'm guessing if MLB commissioner Bud Selig had been the referee, the mismatch would still be going.

Regardless, with the start of preseason football still a couple of weeks away, I thought I'd kill some time (and fill some space) by dreaming up a few celebrity boxing matches I'd like to see.

Here goes:

- Former Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre vs. heir-apparent Aaron Rodgers in a loser-leave-town match.

- Lady Vol basketball coach Pat Summitt vs. UConn coach Geno Auriemma in a no-rules grudge match.

- Former Vol basketball coach Kevin O'Neill vs. former UT athletics director Doug Dickey.

- Former Florida football coach Steve Spurrier vs. his former boss, Gator athletics director Jeremy Foley.

- Pro football bad boy Adam "Pacman" Jones vs. a strip-club bouncer of his choosing.

- Rutgers women's basketball coach C. Vivian Stringer vs. talk show host Don Imus.

- Former college basketball coach Bob Knight vs. an official of his choosing. (All ringside seats will be bolted down.)

- Former women's tennis star Chris Evert vs. arch-rival Martina Navratilova. (Evert's two-fisted backhand might come in handy.)

- Home run king Barry Bonds vs. former home run king Henry Aaron ... but Henry gets six months to "bulk up" first.

- Alabama football coach Nick Saban vs. any reporter who covers the Tide on a regular basis.

- Former NBA official Tim Donaghy vs. former Major League Baseball player Pete Rose. (They could set their own betting line.)

- Past-his-prime Penn State football coach Joe Paterno vs. past-his-prime Florida State coach Bobby Bowden in a fight-to-the-finish. (It's a safe bet neither of them would quit.)

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