With apologies to David Letterman, here are the top 10 reasons Tennessee walloped Memphis 56-28 Saturday night at Neyland Stadium:
10. Several Vols were upset that Tiger coach Tommy West made UT head man Lane Kiffin the butt of a preseason joke.
9. Jonathan Crompton made Memphis' pass defense look like a bigger joke than the one West told, completing 21 of 27 passes for 331 yards and five touchdowns.
8. Denarius Moore, Gerald Jones and Luke Stocker caught everything thrown in their vicinity, then gained a bunch of yards after the catch.
7. Tennessee is a program on the rise; Memphis is a program on the decline.
6. Vol defensive linemen Dan Williams and Chris Walker - both Memphis natives - were virtually unblockable all night long.
5. It was homecoming, and home teams are supposed to win big on homecoming.
4. With a 21-1 record in the all-time series, Tennessee beating Memphis has become as much a Big Orange tradition as the Vol Walk and the orange/white checkerboard end zone.
3. Tennessee is twice as good as Memphis, and the score (56-28) accurately reflects that.
2. With an 8-4 record and bowl bid in sight, the Vols weren't going to let a bunch of declawed Tigers stand in their way.
1. Tennessee's second-team defense didn't get to play until the second half.