The Bench Press takes a slight detour in this week's edition. This website needs an injection of culture and class and that is what I intend to do.
As I was searching through ancient Vol scrolls, I came across a collection of Tennessee Haiku. Nothing says class and sophistication quite like poetry, so I will share some with you. ßsee what I did there
His hair is perfect
Playcalling. Smooth, effortless.
Dooley is his name
Interpretation: This limerick appears fairly straightforward. It pays homage to our head coach's blessed follicles and compliments his offensive prowess.
The man with no neck
Wins by watching the game film
And working like heck
Interpretation: The man with no neck must be a reference to Coach Phillip Fulmer. As for the rest of the poem, I have never heard him say those things so I don't know where that comes from.
Berkowitz he's not
Son of Simms. His arm, a gun.
Touchdowns. Many. Fun.
Interpretation: This poem is about Matt Simms. It speaks to his laser-rocket arm, which will lead the Vols to many a scoring drive.
The Ducks will fly east
They will smother. They will drown.
Like the Ducks in Gulf
Interpretation: This poem discusses the upcoming game with Oregon. It appears to take a cheap shot at BP as well.
Bama pays players
Always have and Always will
Probation. It looms
Interpretation: This is very cryptic. I have no idea what it means.
I hope you have enjoyed Vol Haiku and this week's Bench Press. Until next time, stay classy Vol fans.EDITOR'S NOTE: These aren't the thoughts or policies of InsideTennessee.com and are the thoughts of the author only.