SEC Media Days are next week and yours truly is heading down to Birmingham to ask the hard-hitting questions that everyone else is either too afraid or too mature to ask. Media Days will be a zoo, so I will probably only get to ask one question per coach. I need to make them count.
Here is how I see my questions shaking out:
Florida Coach Urban Meyer: Coach, long distance relationships are hard. How do you and Tim make it work with you being in Florida and him in Denver?
Georgia Coach Mark Richt: Coach, do you plan on making it past the 35-yard line this year against the Vols?
South Carolina Coach Steve Spurrier: Coach, was the Augusta membership worth it?
Kentucky Coach Joker Phillips: Coach, can't you get World Wide Wes to throw the football team a player every now and then?
Vanderbilt Coach Robbie Caldwell: Coach, how disappointed were you when they named you interim coach?
Alabama Coach Nick Saban: Coach, why did you sign Daunte Culpepper instead of Drew Brees when you coached my Dolphins? Thanks a lot.
LSU Coach Les Miles: Coach, do you d. ... where are you going? What do you mean out of time, we have 20 seconds left? When will this guy learn some clock management?
Auburn Coach Gene Chizik: Coach, which one of you is Gene Chizik again? I Still have no idea who you are.
Arkansas Coach Bobby Petrino: Coach, I literally cannot think of one question to ask you. How about this, who wins in a fight, pre-face tattoo Mike Tyson or Darth Vader?
Ole Miss Coach Houston Nutt: Coach, were you surprised when you didn't receive an Oscar nod for your role in 'The Blind Side?'
Mississippi State Coach Dan Mullen: Coach on the suck scale, 1 being a paper cut and 10 being a Viet Cong POW camp, where does Starkville fall?
You can criticize my cheap shots by emailing me: AlexAnderson1985@gmail.com