Lucky Lane

Pop singer Rod Stewart summed it up lyrically in 1984: "Some guys have all the luck."

Consider Lane Kiffin Exhibit A. Honestly, Lady Luck must follow him around like a lost puppy. Consider his smoking-hot wife. Better still, consider his career time line to date:

2001: Southern Cal head man Pete Carroll hires Lane to coach wide receivers as a favor to Monte Kiffin, who hired Carroll as defensive coordinator when Monte was head coach at North Carolina State from 1980-82.

2007: After just six seasons as a Trojan assistant, Lane is hired as head coach of the NFL's Oakland Raiders.

December of 2008: Fired by Al Davis after going 5-15 in one-plus seasons with the Raiders, Lane is tabbed head coach at the University of Tennessee.

February of 2009: Lane is reprimanded by SEC commissioner Mike Slive after accusing Florida's Urban Meyer of cheating in his recruitment of Nu'Keese Richardson.

October of 2009: Slive reprimands Lane in the wake of a 12-10 loss to Alabama for (a) saying officials should've penalized Bama's Terrence Cody for removing his helmet in celebration and (b) suggesting the officiating crew had a vested interest in seeing the Tide win.

January of 2010: After going 7-6 in his lone season with the Vols, Lane leaves to become head coach at Southern Cal.

July of 2010: The Tennessee Titans file suit against Lane for "malicious interference" in connection with his surreptitious hiring of Titans running back coach Kennedy Pola.

Given Kiffin's uncanny knack for attracting controversy and good fortune, here are a few predictions regarding his immediate future:

- September of 2010: Lane is reprimanded by Pac 10 commissioner Larry Scott for criticizing game officials.

- October of 2010: Lane is reprimanded by Pac 10 commissioner Larry Scott for criticizing the other league coaches.

- November of 2010: Lane is reprimanded by Pac 10 commissioner Larry Scott for criticizing Larry Scott.

- December of 2010: After going 7-5 in Year 1 at Southern Cal, Lane gets a contract extension and a raise.

- February of 2011: Lane is reprimanded by Pac 10 commissioner Larry Scott for criticizing the league's other signing classes.

- April of 2011: Lane is reprimanded by Pac 10 commissioner Larry Scott for accusing UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel of cheating on his taxes.

- May of 2011: While vacationing in Tijuana, Lane is reprimanded by Mexican president Felipe Calderon for criticizing the country's water, bullfighting and shortage of major-college football prospects.

- December of 2011: After a 5-7 record in Year 2 at Southern Cal lowers his career coaching record to 24-33, Lane is hired as head coach of the San Francisco 49ers.


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